Anarchy In The Jurisdiction
by XxMildredxX
Summary: Tony has a visitor who wants to drink away his problems with heavy liquor. It just so happens that Tony is an expert on drinking away problems, so together Iron Man and the God of Mischief get drunk, inadvertently leading to more... (Warning: Contains graphic sexual content and MPREG. No like, no read. If you know me in real life, please keep away from this fic.)
1. Chapter 1

**My first Avengers fic. For Ellie, because, well, you know why.**

**Sophie, I cannot stress this enough: Please do not read this. I know you're a very curious person, but please. Please. Please do not read this. PLEASE. I am begging you, on my knees, please don't read it. **

**Chapter 1- Drunk and Disorderly**

Loki awoke with a jolt, as if his mind had forcibly dragged him to consciousness with a spark of lightning.

He blinked rapidly, trying to gain some awareness, whilst also trying to eradicate the thumping in his head.

_How much did I drink last night?_

A better question, he thought, would be _why _he was drinking last night in the first place. It was still too early to be using his brain, and he was still in a state of befuddlement.

_Ok, Loki, gather your bearings. Where are you?_

He focussed his eyes, and realised he was in a bed. His face was pressed into a white cotton pillowcase, and a soft duvet was pulled around him. The room was quite stark, white and functional, but also finely decorated with stylish furniture. Loki blearily glanced upwards, and saw, directly in front of him, a bedside table with a digital clock on it, next to a copy of this week's _Flight _magazine and yesterday's newspaper. The clock said that it was ten minutes past seven in the morning.

_Oh fabulous, _Loki thought to himself with a mental groan. _I'm in a foreign bedroom, and I have no idea where I am._

For a sickening moment he thought that perhaps he was in the upgraded version of a SHIELD holding cell, and panicked, terrified for a moment that SHIELD had caught him in a state of inebriation.

_But no,_ Loki thought, realisation flooding him. He was naked under the duvet, and a hot flush crept up his neck, which then amplified tenfold when the events of last night bombarded him with the strength of a thousand horses.

"Oh _no," _Loki groaned aloud, burying his face in the pillow once more, and trying not to burst into tears.

The body, that _wretched _body that he hadn't realised was there until now, shifted from behind him on the bed, and Tony Stark woke up.

"Hello princess," came a groggy good morning. "Sleep well?"

"Go die a hundred terrible deaths," Loki moaned into the pillow, and visibly flinched when a hot hand touched his bare shoulder.

"Huh," Tony sat up, but Loki still did not turn to him. "Not a nice way to treat someone after a night of-"

"Don't say it!" Loki suddenly hissed, sitting up abruptly, and whirling round to point a long finger in Stark's face. "I want you to forget that last night _ever _happened!"

Tony's eyes widened and he pulled a faux-hurt expression. "All right, princess! No need to get your panties in a twist!"

Loki glared at him and grit his teeth.

"Of course, if you're going to be all bitchy with me, I suppose I ought to raise the alarm," Tony said, feigning a bored voice, but his eyes were glinting. "Jarvis?"

"Yes sir?"

Loki flinched again as the detached ceiling-voice spoke up.

"Go call Thor for me, will you?" Tony pretended to inspect his nails. "Tell him I'm being attacked by his crazy, horny little brother."

"Stark, I will vaporise you," Loki hissed, bunching the duvet around his chest.

"Hey, hey," Tony grinned. "Jarvis knows when I'm joking, don't you Jarvis?"

"Of course, sir," was the response.

Loki glared even harder, willing Tony Stark to simply combust where he sat, with that infuriating smug expression on his face. He hoiked the duvet even farther up his body, disliking how naked his shoulders felt.

Tony noticed this. "Aaw, don't tell me you're getting modest on me!" he grinned. "You've got nothing to hide from me anymore, Lo-Lo. I've seen it aaaaall," he smirked lasciviously.

"Your inexplicable leering is repulsive," Loki spat. "I am leaving. Now."

"Inexplicable?" Tony frowned momentarily. "Why is it inexplicable?"

He got no response, for Loki was hastily attempting to untangle himself from all of Tony's sheets and blankets, whilst still trying to keep himself covered up.

"Leaving so soon?" Tony smirked, lying back with his hands behind his head, gazing at Loki, who was magicking himself a pair of trousers and a shirt.

"Last night never happened," Loki repeated, and Tony found his pink ears highly endearing. "I was drunk, and you were there, that is it. I made a mistake. Forget it ever happened."

"Really? Because I remember it quite vividly," he remarked, still smiling. "Who knew a bit of drink would open you up like that? Quite literally!" he snorted, and Loki seemed to emit some sort of aggravated hissing noise as he buttoned up his shirt with a level of ferocity rarely seen by Tony's night time conquests.

"I hope you burn in a pool of acid," Loki snapped, waving his hands and a pair of new shoes materialised in the air.

"That is really rather cool," Tony sat up and leant over. "Do you ever do laundry? Could you magic me a new wardrobe? Shopping is such a bore."

Loki flexed his hands, as if wishing to wrap his fingers around Tony's throat, but instead harrumphed loudly, and slipped his feet into the new shoes. He stomped over to the window, and was about to teleport away, when Tony said,

"I honestly had fun, just so you know. Thanks for not, y'know, killing me afterwards, or whatever."

Loki glanced back to see Tony reclining again on the bed, and appraising Loki with a sincere expression.

"I suspect we'll see each other soon. When I whoop your ass in our next battle," he smiled toothily, relishing the look of hatred that rippled over Loki's features. "We should do this again some time!"

"I hope hounds gorge on your flesh," was Loki's response.

"You're welcome for the best night of your life!" Tony called back, chuckling as Loki vanished with not so much as a _pop._

He giggled to himself, and shuffled further into the bed covers. Wow.

No, really, wow.

He had assumed, under all those layers of leather and metal, Loki would be like those other skinny British boys he'd fucked. But Loki was _Asgardian. _Okay, maybe not Asgardian, but the details didn't matter. He was a _god, _and that did matter, very much so, because when Loki had magicked his clothes away, lips tightly sealed over the skin of Tony's neck, the last thing Tony had been expecting was raw, sinewy muscle and immense strength. He had been all hard angles and tough flesh, and Tony swore he had never seen such a perfect specimen as the one that had been undulating across his lap.

How they'd got the position where Loki was grinding into his crotch like a stripper was a different matter entirely...

Tony hadn't been feeling too great- he'd been thinking about his father, and that never boded well for his mood, so, as he usually did when he was upset, he went and started tinkering with stuff down in his workshop.

It wasn't until Jarvis had belatedly warned him, did he notice that Loki himself, their number one most wanted bad buy, was perched on the edge of a workbench on the opposite side of the room, looking at him curiously.

"Ah, fuck," Tony said, straightening up, and brandishing his spanner. "What the fuck are you doing here, you creeper?"

Loki had simply stared at him, before shrugging nonchalantly. "Nothing," was the innocent reply. He hopped off the workbench, and sauntered over to Tony.

"Nothing, my ass!" Tony raised the spanner higher, knowing it would be no good in a fight against a god, but it might buy him some time to escape, alert the others, and get into his suit.

"Don't you ever get bored, Stark?" Loki had asked, somewhat playfully.

"All the time," Tony replied, "especially by your crazy bullshit."

"Well, I'm bored," Loki spoke. "And here I am, trying _not _to be bored. Because you're very _not boring."_

"Well thanks, sunshine," Tony said. "Good to know. So whilst you're here, being _not bored, _just don't mind me as I go and raise the alarm." Tony shuffled over to the wall where there was a red button with a plastic case over it. If he pressed it, the fire alarm should go off.

Loki waved a hand, and oil appeared on the floor, making Tony fall flat on his back with an _"Oof!"_

Loki giggled. Actually _giggled, _and Tony wondered if that was what Thor had had to put up with during his childhood.

"Ah, Stark! So amusing!" he chuckled. "I could play with you all day!"

"Go annoy someone else, you freak," Tony grumbled, standing up and rubbing his posterior. "If I can't even fight you, what's the point in you being here?"

Loki's expression fell, and suddenly he looked very glum. Tony considered him curiously. Loki looked tired, and his playful exterior seemed to be concealing a storm in his eyes, which was slowly emerging out onto his pale features.

"And if I just wanted someone to talk to?" Loki asked quietly.

"We're talking, aren't we?" Tony said begrudgingly. "You know, there are people you can pay to talk to for hours. They're called shrinks, and I really think you could do with one."

Loki glared. "I am a-"

"A god, yes, yes, I know," Tony interrupted. "No need to keep telling everyone. I'm going back upstairs. Feel free to join me for a drink if you want. Apparently I've got nothing better to do than to entertain bored deities."

He turned to leave, and when he looked back to switch off the lights, Loki had gone.

He didn't know if he was pleased or regretful about this, as he usually enjoyed chatting with Loki, even if he pretended not to. There was something satisfying about their verbal banter. Of course, he preferred it when he had his suit within reach.

He went up to the roof of the mansion, noticing how everything was still and quiet- for once, all the Avengers were away, or asleep. There were no disturbances, no aggravation, or conflicts. Peace. It was unnerving.

Up on the roof, he went over to the bar that he'd installed there, and poured himself a scotch, before going to sit on one of the benches. The moon was crescent shaped and covered in clouds, barely contributing to the illumination of Manhattan. He sat and sipped in silence, until he was aware of a dark presence behind him.

"Hello again," he said coolly, but he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prick up.

"What are you doing?"

"Me? Nothing," Tony parried back the same words that had been spoken to him down in his workshop. Loki came over and sat next to him on the bench. Together they sat in silence, overlooking the city.

"I don't see why you constantly want to blow it up," Tony said after a while. "Doesn't it look awesome?"

"It has nothing on Asgard," Loki sniffed haughtily. "This is pathetic in comparison to the sights of that kingdom."

"Huh. Guess I'll never truly know," Tony said, but Loki didn't reply.

Tony gestured his glass to Loki, offering him, but Loki dismissed that, and with a wave of his hand, a bottle of tequila appeared in his hand.

"Seriously?" Tony raised an eyebrow, but Loki didn't look at him. "Tequila? What's wrong? Has your boyfriend broken up with you, and you need to drink away your sorrows?"

"This is the one-year mark of the day that I murdered the Jotun king in a sore attempt to gain respect from the Allfather," Loki muttered bitterly, cracking open the bottle to take a swig, and Tony was taken off guard by the tone in his voice.

"Uh, okay," he replied. "And that is significant...how?"

Loki turned his head with a disbelieving look on his face. "Has Thor not relished in recounting the stories of my misbegotten inheritance?"

"Well, if he has, I didn't bother to remember it," Tony said casually.

"Laufey was my _real _father," Loki said darkly. "I lured him in the city, so that I could kill him in front of Odin. I thought- I thought that if I did, Odin would see me as suitable for the throne of Asgard. But did he? No, he did not. So what am I, if not a worthy king? Just a parentless monster who murdered his own father."

Tony was getting rather uncomfortable. "Is there a reason you are telling me this?"

"No!" said Loki, indignantly, his posh voice suddenly rocketing up an octave. "No there is not! I'm just a disappointing freak animal who wants, for just one night, to forget about it all!" he finished with another hearty gulp, his face screwing up at the burning taste, and he collapsed against the bench, slouching like a sulking child.

"Ooookay," Tony said, somewhat alarmed. "I'm just...not gonna comment."

"Good," Loki's voice had returned to its deep brooding tone.

Tony hesitantly sipped his scotch as Loki drank deeply from his bottle of tequila (tequila? _Tequila? _Who had taught this god to drink? If Tony didn't know better, he'd put the blame on Barton. Tequila seemed like a Barton-y type of drinking habit.) until most of it was gone.

"Have you drunk away your problems yet?" Tony asked lightly, as the city continued buzzing around them.

"No," Loki said petulantly.

"Alright."

"Why are you still awake? Don't humans sleep at this hour?"

"Look around you," Tony gestured to New York. "We're in the city that doesn't sleep."

Loki grunted.

"For such a poised and civilised person, you're acting more and more like a crazed alcoholic."

"It must the company I take influencing me."

"Ouch, burn!"

Loki raised one side of his mouth in a half smile.

"Do you really think drinking away your problems will help?" Tony asked pointedly, as Loki drained the bottle, and pulled a pouting expression as the last drop passed his lips.

"Do you?" Loki reposted. His voice was louder than usual, which Tony put down to the drink. Loki was staring at Tony's tumbler with still a level of amber liquid in it.

"Yeah, but I've got long lasting issues with my fath- oh, I see," Tony mumbled, and then grinned. Loki gave a mirthless laugh.

"Oh indeed, Stark!" he chuckled darkly, and then hiccupped. "Oh, I think I'm drunk."

"It's a surprise you're even conscious," Tony observed, but Loki ignored him. He pushed himself upright, so that he was no longer slouching, and rubbed a hand against his eye. It was strangely adorable.

"When I was younger," Loki spoke, "there was this stranger that passed through Asgard. At the time, there wasn't a wall around Asgard, and we were rather vulnerable."

Tony raised his eyebrows. So it was story time, now, was it?

"The stranger offered to build the wall for us, but in repayment he wanted the hand in marriage of one of the goddesses."

"You people still do that whole hand in marriage crap?" Tony asked, curiously, but Loki shushed him.

"Freyja, her name was. He also asked for the sun and the moon."

"Oh yeah, don't mind us little humans. It's not like we need the sun and the moon," Tony said sarcastically. "You just _give _it away to whoever wants it, sure, go ahead!"

Loki glared at him, and then continued. "Obviously, none of the gods agreed to it, least of all Odin. He was outraged that the stranger thought we would barter _Freyja _in exchange for a wall."

"Why, was she hot?"

"She is attractive."

"Well, no need to mince your words."

"But I went to the stranger, and I said to him, that if he managed to build the wall in sixth months, instead of eighteen, he would have his bargain."

"I can tell this is where the shit hits the fan," Tony said wryly, and Loki conjured up another two glasses of scotch, passing one to Tony.

"Naturally, a lot of people were very angry with me. But, my reasoning was that the stranger would _never _be able to complete the work in six months, but would only be able to build half the wall. And so, when he failed to reach the stipulations, we would have half a wall for free!"

"Cunning."

"Stark, if you interrupt again, I will turn you into a frog."

"Sorry, sorry, continue."

"He asked, however, that he be allowed his horse to help him."

"Is this the horse you have sex with?"

Loki blinked. "What?"

"Eric told me. He's big on Norse mythology. Is this the horse you have sex with?" Tony asked again, eagerly.

"You humans always have such misconceived conjectures about the true tales. They seem to grow more and more false!" Loki proclaimed. "Why would I..._couple _with a horse? Don't be absurd!"

"Shame," Tony sighed. "There I was thinking you were at least a _little _bit kinky."

"Don't be revolting, Stark. I have never done anything of the sort!"

"Never?" Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You mean, _never?"_

Loki glowered at him. "Shall I finish my tale?"

Tony pouted. "Fine."

"So yes. He asked for his horse to help him. And we agreed. However, within six months, most of the wall had been built."

"Hahaha, I bet they kicked the shite out of you for that!"

"So Odin demanded that I fix it, seeing as it had been my idea in the first place. He believed the stranger to be a giant in disguise, because only that would explain his ability to build the wall in such short a space of time. So what I did was, I lured his horse away, as, without his horse, he would never be able to haul the stones for the wall."

"Did you tempt it with your wily ways and sultry hips?"

Loki managed to crack a smile. "Hips don't lie, Stark, as I've been informed."

Stark almost choked on his drink, and started cackling with amusement. He realised that he was significantly more intoxicated that he had initially thought.

"Anyway!" Loki pressed on. "When I lured away the horse, the stranger became so enraged that his disguise fell apart, and he was revealed as a giant."

"Whatdya do about it?" Tony asked, enjoying the story.

"Thor came along, and bashed his head in," Loki finished with a sullen grimace, making the happy ending rather anticlimactic.

"Aw, don't be like that," Tony beseeched. "It was such a nice story, and you ruin it with your brotherly love!"

Loki snorted, and pulled his knees up onto the bench, hiding behind them, his glass perched on top.

"Did Freyja thank you, in the end?"

"No, she hunted me for putting her in the situation in the first place. Nobody noticed that they got an entire wall built for free because of my plan," Loki sulked.

"That's not nice," Tony observed.

"I've had worse."

"Oh yes?"

"When I cut off Sif's hair for a bet," Loki said, re-emerging from behind his knees, "Thor was so furious. The bet I lost was to a group of dwarves. As punishment, Thor held me down, and the dwarves sewed my lips together."

Tony stopped short. Loki was peering at him from big, clear eyes. "That's disgusting."

"It was most painful."

"No, I mean, that is completely barbaric. Thor is your _brother!"_

"Thor is not my brother."

"But he was at the time!" Tony yelled out. "Who does that to their brother?"

"Well, he certainly had a fancy for Sif back then, and she did not look appealing with shortened hair," Loki tried to smile, but Tony felt nauseous. "I was forced to enchant it back for her."

"No wonder you want to kill him."

"It was several centuries ago. It's simply one small event on a long list of reasons why I detest Thor."

"I was joking. You shouldn't want to kill anyone."

"Says the man who designed weapons for a living."

"I've reformed."

Loki smirked. "I have not. So I suppose I have an excuse."

Tony rolled his eyes. "You're drunk."

"Mm," Loki agreed. "But I feel better."

"It would be shit if you were drunk and still felt awful."

"Indeed."

The silence descended upon them again, and it lasted.

Tony looked over to Loki's profile, and stared at his lips. Now that he was looking for them, he noticed tiny rows of pinpricks along the edge. His stomach flipped.

"You're staring."

"I'm still shocked," Tony admitted. "Don't you heal, though?"

"It was enchanted thread."

"That's a bummer."

"It seems an insignificant scar compared to the hole in your chest."

Tony smiled. "Yeah, but the hole in my chest is great for picking up girls. The dots on your lips are great if you want sympathy from old grannies."

Loki half smiled, and turned to face Tony. The smile was off-putting. "Most people say I got what I deserved. They wanted to sever my head from my shoulders. I only got away by saying that I did not bargain my neck, and as there is no differentiation between the neck and the head, they could not have anything."

"Cunning," Tony said again.

"I wish I had let them cut off my head," Loki said sadly.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey! This ain't no pity party!" Tony pointed a finger at him. "If you wanna go end it all, you're on a high roof. Help yourself. I'm not gonna stop you." He gestured to the edge of the roof.

Loki laughed. "Alright, I'll stop."

"Good."

Loki didn't respond for a moment, but sucked down more drink.

"I'm going to take that away from you in a second," Tony warned. "You'll get alcohol poisoning."

"I'd like to see you try."

Tony lunged for the glass, but Loki was too quick for him, and instead he just sprawled himself across the chest of a laughing god.

Tony clambered over him, and this was where it all went horribly, horribly wrong.

If they hadn't been so inhibited by alcohol, Loki would have pushed him off roughly, and disappeared, and Tony would have assembled the Avengers long before.

But instead, they were drunk, they were needy, and they were both enjoying each other's companies. And Tony desperately wanted to see if he could feel the texture of the scars around Loki's lips.

Knees either side of the Trickster's hips, Tony reached for the glass, which Loki had outstretched as far as he could. Tony retaliated by pushing Loki's head away in the opposite direction, and grasping for the hand which held the glass.

"Stark!" Loki giggled. "You are so juvenile!"

Unable to simultaneously shove Loki's head away and reach out, Tony gave up on that, and instead yanked on Loki's ear in annoyance.

"Ow!"

"Are you joking me?" Tony deadpanned, and Loki rubbed at his ear.

Loki growled and flicked Tony on the nose.

"Right, _who's _being juvenile now?" Tony asked, before darting out and grabbing the glass whilst Loki was distracted. He jerked it away, and it fell out of both their fingers, landing on the floor with a crash.

"Woopsie," Tony tittered. "Hope they weren't too expensive to conjure up."

"Funny," Loki said sarcastically, and flicked Tony's nose again.

"Hey!" Tony took the challenge, and in a second Loki was flat on his back on the bench, blinking up at Tony, who had his wrists held firmly, knees lodged on either side of his waist.

"I'm legally inclined to tell you that I am trained in karate," Tony teased, but was suddenly distracted by the way Loki was breathing heavily, and his hooded eyes were looking up at him. Tony swallowed.

_Enemy! He's the enemy, Stark! Get off him now!_

But he's so pretty! Tony's mind unhelpfully supplied.

Tony glanced down at Loki's scarred, parted lips.

The kissing they both blamed on the alcohol. Although Tony would resolutely like to add to the record that it was Loki who leant up first.

He was rather cold, but he tasted of a mix of scotch and tequila and something else that reminded Tony of building snowmen as a child. At first Loki was a little unresponsive, but after Tony pried open his lips with his own, it was a sudden fight for whoever could get their tongue deepest down the other's throat. It wasn't sweet, or romantic. It was drunken, sloppy and unchoreographed.

Tony gripped hold of Loki's wrists tighter, and angled himself up so that he could plunder inside that mouth whilst Loki's teeth made to bite at him.

"God!" Tony gasped when he drew back. "W-what are we doing?"

"If you stop," Loki breathed, "I will annihilate you."

Tony shrugged, and descended again. This time he was gentler, trying to put some method in the madness. Loki was emitting these tiny little noises from his throat, which made Tony want to do _bad _things to him.

He started nibbling little kisses down the side of Loki's jaw, until he got to that long expanse of white neck, and bit down savagely.

"Aaah!" Loki cried out, and Tony clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Sssh! Do you want to wake everyone up?" he hissed.

Loki blinked and shook his head from under Tony's hand. Tony removed his hand and replaced it with his lips. Now that Loki had his arms free, his wasted no time in entwining his fingers in Tony's hair, and rolling them to try and gain some control.

They both fell to the floor with an almighty crash.

"Well, shit," Tony muttered. "Come on, let's go to my room. There's a lock."

Loki grasped his hand, and in an instant, they materialised in Stark's bedroom. They both swayed- teleportation and alcohol did not mix well.

Loki's hands were on Tony immediately, pulling at his tshirt and grabbing at his shoulders.

"Someone is eager."

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Loki started kissing his chest, running his hands down his arms and entangling their fingers. Tony tilted his neck back and enjoyed the sensation of cold lips and harsh teeth. He backed them slowly towards the bed, until his knees collided with the edge, and he sat down, bringing Loki onto his lap.

"Is leather really necessary?" Tony asked, grasping at Loki's well covered thorax.

"It is Asgardian custom," Loki breathed, before continuing sucking at Tony's neck.

"Well, it is Starkian custom, especially when you are in the bedroom of Stark, to be naked," Tony remarked, and Loki scoffed.

He began grinding his hips down onto Tony's crotch, and Tony grabbed his waist.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I am drunk, Tony," Loki gasped, arching his back and running his hands through the hair at the back of Tony's head, eliciting a small moan. "I am not sure of anything."

Tony looked up at him, almost about to say _no, _when Loki waved his hand flippantly, and the layers of leather dissolved in the air around him. Tony's hands fell on cold, hard flesh, and he groaned out loud.

"You're not gonna murder me whilst I'm in the throes of passion?" Tony checked, running his hands up Loki's bare chest. He was lean and muscular, and Tony looked down and _oh my god I don't care if he kills me, at least I'll die happy._

"Only if you beg for it," Loki flashed him a cunning grin which was covered immediately by lust as he began kissing Tony's throat. "Come on, Stark. Why do you care, anyway? Fuck me."

Tony almost made an embarrassing noise. Loki, snobbish, articulate, prudish Loki just said the word _fuck. _

"Hnnng, okay," Tony agreed. He stood up, and deposited Loki on the bed. Loki stretched out, all proud and flaunting, before raising an eyebrow and biting on his finger. "Have you ever done this before?"

"Yes, I have," Loki suddenly snapped. "I don't see why it makes a difference. You don't even like me."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I like you enough."

Loki lowered his gaze, before rolling over onto his stomach. Tony took a moment to gape and enjoy the lines of his back, leading onto that rather luscious behind, and long, _long _white, muscled legs. His mouth went dry.

"Not one for foreplay?" he rasped.

"If you don't get a move on, I'll leave and go find someone at a bar," Loki mumbled into the pillow. "Come on, Stark! Your reputation gave implications that you bedded whichever drunken harlot fell in your path. Would you prefer it if I were female?"

And just like that, in front of Tony's eyes, Loki's body morphed. The strong ropes of muscle melted away into soft, cushiony layers of flesh, mounding in all different areas. Loki rolled over, and Tony was presented with breasts. Real life breasts.

"Am I dreaming?" Tony muttered, raising a hand to his head. "Or am I high?"

"Don't be silly," said the same, imperious voice, only now it was a soprano trill. "Do you desire this more?"

"I- I- I don't even...I can't-" Tony wasn't articulate. "You- are you...what?"

"Loki is Loki, whatever the form," the woman told him. She was ample and busty, with large hips and soft looking skin. Her hair was wavy around her shoulders, and the angular planes of her face had shaped into curves. The same, glittering green eyes were looking up at him, with something that looked like nervousness.

"I- I don't...well, this isn't about me, is it?" Tony cleared his throat. "Whatever you prefer."

Loki seemed to ponder this. "Hmm. Perhaps I can alternate between both?"

"Be my guest!" Tony gestured wildly. This was _not _how he had imaged the evening going. "This is...completely surreal!"

Loki grinned, and suddenly, in the blink of an eye, he was back, as a male.

"I'm waiting, Stark," he said, playfully, and then hiccupped.

"You're drunk."

"Well done, genius."

"There's no need to be snarky."

"Do you plan on spending the evening standing there, and staring stupidly at me?"

"Are you always this bitchy in bed?"

"Usually, yes, when I'm _the only person in the bed! _I am growing impatient, Stark."

Tony rolled his eyes, and divested himself of the rest of his clothes. He liked the way Loki's eyes roamed over his body, lingering on the arc reactor for a second longer than necessary, before licking his lips.

"Maybe you're nervous," Loki spoke up, cocking an eyebrow, and leaning over on to one side. "Maybe you're worried what would happen if one of your _friends _came up and walked in on us."

Tony ignored him, and crawled up onto the bed.

"What would they think of you? Fucking a god? Don't you think they would be impressed?" Loki purred into his ear, as Tony pushed him down by the shoulders and positioned himself between Loki's thighs. "Not many people get to be in your position, Stark. Would you stop for them? Would you stop, and let them take me away? Or would you keep fucking me anyway? Damn them, you're _Tony Stark, _and you take what you want, right? Who cares if that means taking my body in front of your colleagues and friends?"

"You're fucking distracting, you know that?" Tony said, chuckling. It was rather startling the effect Loki's dirty words had on his body. He was so hard it almost _hurt, _and every muscle in his body was burning with the need to just hold Loki down and _fuck him._

"I don't know why you're waiting," Loki breathed throatily into his ear. "I'm open and willing. Go on. Take it."

"You don't ever shut up, do you?" Tony smiled, pressing a kiss to Loki's throat. "Let me go get-"

Loki thrust a bottle of lube under his nose. "Here."

Tony blinked. "Did you just..."

"To add to my argument that magic is more impressive than technology," Loki said flippantly, running his other hand down Tony's body and grasping his cock. "Are you going to do it or not?"

"Jesus Christ, just hang on a moment!" Tony tried not to let his elbows buckle as Loki began stroking him firmly. It wouldn't do to show weakness and submissiveness, as Loki may think he is not up to the task and leave...

Loki ignored him, and pressed the lube into Tony's hand, wrapping the fingers around it, before grasping his face and pulling him in to kiss him. He scraped his teeth along Tony's bottom lip and then latched on, sucking at Tony's tongue, meanwhile his hand was still caressing Tony's cock, his thighs were lifting up to wrap around Tony's waist, his feet in the air, his skin flushed red, and Tony was losing his cool, Tony was about to combust, Tony had no idea what the _fuck _he was doing, but he didn't care, because Loki just moaned a word into his mouth that sounded oddly like his name, and _god _if hearing Loki moan his name didn't turn him on...

Tony fumbled with the cap of the lube, before coating his fingers and reaching down between their bodies to Loki's entrance. When one finger pressed past the muscle, Loki detached from Tony's mouth in order to groan loudly, dropping his head back on the pillows, and screwed up his eyes.

"Are you all right?"

"Keep going!"

Tony obliged, pushing his finger up to the knuckle, somewhat curious about the cooler than normal sensation of Loki's flesh, despite the god's red flush. Tony hadn't done this in quite a while- since college- but there was something oddly gratifying about falling into old practices. Especially when it was Loki he was doing it to. He retracted the finger, earning another chesty moan, then returned with two, stretching and pressing at firm walls.

"Oh, _oh, Tony!" _Loki groaned, and his thighs quivered around Tony's body.

_If this is how excited he gets from two fingers, _Tony thought wryly, _what is he going to do at the main event?_

Tony sat back on his heels so that he could admire Loki's taut body. He rested a hand on the hard, shaking abdominal muscles and stroked gently, resulting in startled hitched gasps emanating from the beautiful body beneath him.

Tony joined a third finger with the other two, and Loki's eyes snapped open, his mouth agape as he tried to make a noise.

"Too much?"

"N-no. Keep going."

Tony ran his spare hand up along Loki's body, feeling the hard muscle, until he got to the soft skin pulled around sharp collar bones, so delicate, like petals, and continued going to the hollow of his neck, under his jaw, where he could feel the racing pulse, and Loki's Adam's apple bobbing along the column of his throat as he swallowed, unable to form a sentence. Then Tony retraced his movements, sweeping his hand down Loki's sides, until his hands reached the strong expanse of thigh, marble smooth and compactly built.

He grasped the underside of Loki's right thigh, and hauled it up over his shoulder, stretching Loki out and creating a new angle.

When Tony's fingers met Loki's prostate, the shriek that resulted was enough to wake the neighbours.

"Do you mind?" Tony asked, amused, as Loki shivered underneath him, covering his face with his hands. "Are you sure you've done this before?"

"N-not like—oh!—this," Loki breathed.

"You mean, nobody has ever done _this," _Tony pressed, almost sadistically, against the little gland inside Loki, and bit down his grin as Loki shuddered, hands flying up to grasp Tony's shoulders tightly.

Tony wasn't going to lie- his ego was rapidly ballooning out of control at the look of pure ecstasy that was blossoming on Loki's features. _He _was bringing a god complete pleasure. It was a pretty heady feeling. Then again, it could just be the alcohol talking.

Tony leant down and recaptured those trembling lips softly. "Not so smug now, are you?"

"Please, Tony," Loki breathed, lifting his head for another kiss. "Please. Do it now."

Tony pulled his fingers away, and the guttural noise that came from Loki's throat was alarming.

"Are you sure?"

"I will kill you."

"All right, all right! I'm doing it!"

Tony reached for the lube again, and applied it generously to his cock, which, up until now, he had been neglecting, but when he pushed it against Loki's entrance, he almost fainted from the feel of and Loki was crying out, clutching at his hair, and Tony had to hold his legs in his arms to stop them flailing around and Tony's heart was in his throat and he couldn't quite believe he was doing this...

He lay down against Loki's body, feeling Loki's cock pulsing against his stomach, pushing Loki's thigh up higher, so that his knee was near his own shoulder, because _damn _was he bendable, and pressed his lips against Loki's jaw, hearing all the stuttering breaths and tiny whimpers coming from the god. Loki shifted his other leg, the one not bent in half by Tony's hand, rotating it to allow Tony more room.

"Move," he rumbled, his voice soft, in a whisper.

Tony heaved his weight up onto both hands, either side of Loki's head, and pushed further into Loki's body, grunting with repressed pleasure. Loki managed to keep his leg on Tony's shoulder, flexing it, pulling Tony in, his hands gliding over Tony's chest and round to grasp into Tony's side.

"Loki," Tony managed to groan, dropping his head and breathing deeply.

"Come on, Tony," Loki murmured. "Take it. Go on."

"Ah! If you don't shut up, I'll do just that!" Tony snapped. "And you'll get hurt."

"I won't get hurt!" Loki replied, outraged. "I am a god of Asg-!"

He was cut off as Tony abruptly pulled out and slammed back in. The headboard of the bed hit the wall with a smash, which just about covered up the cacophony of Loki's wail.

"You were saying?"

"You smugness enrages me. Now do that again!"

Tony began thrusting, his shoulders beginning to ache in complaint at having to support his body weight, but the electrifying feeling of his cock in Loki's ass was igniting his skin, fizzling throughout his bones, sending pulses through his muscles, causing his toes to curl.

Loki was emitting grunts with every thrust, his fingers were carding through Tony's hair, and his eyes flickered shut. Tony upped the tempo, and realised this wasn't going to last very long as Loki cried out in a tone that almost made Tony collapse.

He shifted his weight and slowed down, so that he could reach down his right hand and grasp Loki's cock.

"Fuck!" Loki yelled. "Tony!"

The added pleasure to the already bliss of the friction between their bodies was bringing Loki to the edge, and Tony grit his teeth, quickly running out of self control.

"Ugh, I can't believe it," Tony grunted, continuing his punishing pace, his body spasming with every wave of ecstasy that flooded his veins.

"W-what?" Loki breathed, curiously.

"I'm not going to last long," Tony warned.

"What is your refractory period?"

"Are we really going to discuss this _now?"_

"Well, it's worth considering, especially if you want to do me as a woman-"

"You're far too coherent for my liking. Go back to the wailing and sobbing."

Loki glared and clenched down, causing Tony to buckle and land over Loki's body, swearing loudly.

Warm arms encircled him, and long legs wrapped around his waist, and Tony's face was being covered in small kisses. The amount of skin-on-skin contact was exhilarating, and Tony could feel every muscle that moved against him. It was an unbelievable sensation.

"Move, Stark," Loki mumbled, still running his lips over Tony's bearded face.

"Back to 'Stark' now, are we?"

"Is it a problem?"

"I think now we're acquainted enough to be on first name terms, don't you?"

Loki laughed, almost manically, and bucked upwards. "Come on. You feel so good."

Tony leant up and enclosed his fingers around Loki's sharp hips, tilting his pelvis up for a better angle, before properly beginning to nail Loki into the mattress.

It wasn't long before Loki was crying out into the crook of his own elbow, jiggling along to the furious rate in which Tony was pounding into him, limbs splayed everywhere, completely boneless and pliant.

Tony himself was almost delirious. He was cursing loudly, his body on fire, his fingers gripping in to Loki's flesh hard. He began angling his thrusts so that each one would hit Loki's prostate, causing the god to begin screaming in some sort of unknown language, his eyes tightly shut and great gasping breaths being forced between his gibberish, in time with the banging of the headboard against the wall and Tony's gasping breaths. When Tony grasped his cock, Loki's eyes flew open for a moment, before he was coming, over Tony's hand and his own body, convulsing violently as Tony was forced to smother his cried with a kiss before Loki woke up the whole goddamned mansion.

They were covered in sweat, and Loki's hands were scrabbling for purchase on Tony's shoulders, as aftershocks coursed through him, making him shudder and moan piteously, going limp and pliable under Tony's grip. Tony barely had to move before the combined sensation of Loki's skin, Loki's heat, Loki's movement, _everything, _was overpowering him and he released inside Loki with a hoarse yell, and collapsed on top of he still panting god.

Tony groaned into Loki's neck, not bothering to move yet, and just lay there, feeling the slick slide of their sweaty skin against each other. He wriggled one hand under Loki's neck to stroke through the damp hair there, the other crawling down to clasp itself between Loki's fingers.

Loki was still heavy breathing, unperturbed by the weight on him, the hand not holding Tony's resting on the small of Tony's back.

"God," Tony managed in a hoarse whisper.

"Yes?" Loki said, good-humouredly. Tony laughed, and mustered the energy to pull out of Loki and roll onto his back on the other side of the bed.

They both just lay there for a while, staring up at Tony's dark ceiling, the only sound was that of their laboured breathing.

Tony felt odd- somewhere between euphoric and guilty. He just had sex with Loki. Sure, drunken sex, but sex nonetheless.

"When will you be up for it again?"

"Mother of god, give me a moment's break, would you?" Tony exclaimed, dropping his head back with a huff and covering his eyes with the back of his forearm.

"Hmm. Fine," Loki allowed. There was a shuffling of sheets, and Tony felt two cool hands on his knees. He opened his eyes to see the same black-haired woman from before smirking at him, down near his feet.

"Aren't you even _slightly _tired?" he asked weakly, as she began crawling up his body on all fours.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, with a derisive, "_Mortals."_

Tony didn't have the opportunity to protest before her lips were trailing down from his chest, lower and lower, and _oh god, _Tony was pretty sure he wasn't that tired after all.

**Ahem.**

**I had to stop it there, before I fucked them to death.**

**You'll have to forgive me. This is the first time I've ever written smut, and it is the first time I've ever written anything to do with The Avengers or Thor or anything. Apart from a short Sherlock crossover, but that doesn't count.**

**So yes. Please take that into consideration, as this is my first fic of this nature, and please review.**

**Please review! I love your feedback so much! Please! **

**Next chapter will hopefully be written soon? And Thor has a few words to say to Tony Stark for defiling his baby brother in such a manner. And is it me, or do you hear the pitter patter of tiny feet? I'm just teasing you. ;)**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Now review!**

**Mx**

**PS. Sophie, if you read it, I'll never forgive you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: There are some tiny weeny spoilers if you squint. Otherwise they should just wash right over your head. Also, warnings for sexual content. And swearing. Enjoy! **

**(As always, Sophie, I'm begging you not to read this. So far, so good; the begging has worked. Please don't read it. Thank you.)**

**Chapter 2- Prioritising Pride**

"Stark! Wake up!"

"Hmm?" Tony snapped to attention, blinking at Fury who was glaring at him.

"Try and pay attention for just a moment?" Fury asked him mockingly. "I know it's hard for you not to go off into one of your daydreams, but this is important."

Woops.

Tony gave a wan smile, and Fury rolled his eye and continued talking. Truth be told, Tony _had _been daydreaming, which was why he was turning a healthy shade of pink at having been caught out. But nobody knew _what _he had been daydreaming about, so all was okay.

The others, all situated around the large kitchen table, went back to listening to Fury's brief on their next mission, except Steve, who gave on a questioning look.

_Are you all right?_

Tony nodded with a shrug and a flippant grin, trying not to appear out of odds. The thing was that Steve was the only one intelligent enough and caring enough to give a crap about the fact that Tony had been acting strangely for the last few weeks. Clint and Natasha just thought he was weird anyway, Bruce preferred to let Tony have his privacy, Thor accepted Tony's half-hearted "I'm fine!" with a grin and a painful slap on the shoulder. It was Steve who frowned and seemed troubled when Tony stopped coming down for movie night or eating alone in his room. Because Steve, god dammit, was too nice for his own good.

The thing was that Tony had been feeling slightly...off since his night with Loki. The Trickster had managed to keep quiet for the whole month, which was not unheard of, but enough to keep SHIELD alert to any on-coming attacks from him, but he had left in his place a burnt memory in Tony's mind.

Every night Tony had dreamt of smooth skin and wicked words and had woken up sweating and panting, a raging hard-on refusing to go away underneath the sheets. Whispered promises, and cool lips, allowing Tony to wrap his hands around hard muscle and trace contours with his tongue.

Fury must have dismissed them, because the others were standing up, the scraping of chairs on the floor bringing Tony to reality, away from dark dreams of white skin and black hair...

"Ready?" Steve asked Tony, as they all left the kitchen and headed off to prepare and meet at the Quinjet.

"Er, yeah. Um, what are we doing exactly?" Tony asked nonchalantly. Steve laughed.

"You weren't listening at all!" he said, but then looked worried. "Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Tony replied. "I- er- I'm just a bit tired."

"Do you want to sit this one out?"

"Do you want me to shove your shield where the sun don't shine?"

"All right, point taken."

"Just...Fury rambles on and on. Just tell me the basics."

"We're investigating a tip-off about Doom."

Tony groaned. "Yay for us! I haven't seen Victor in a while. What's the tip-off?"

"Apparently he's got a workshop down in an abandoned warehouse, and we're gonna see if we can put a stop to any Doombots before they can be mobilised into the city."

Tony perked up a bit. Any excuse to blow up many replicas of Victor's face.

They reached Tony's floor, where he kept his suit, when he asked, "Who gave the tip-off?"

"Witnesses, I suppose," Steve shrugged. "They might've seen something suspicious near the warehouses, and told the police. Fury got a call from Reed this morning- they might join us if they can."

"Is it really necessary to have..." Tony mentally added together six and four, "ten agents on one mission?"

"Exactly," Steve agreed. "They might not bother turning up."

Tony shrugged, and went to activate his suit.

Steve waited for him, before they both set off.

XX

It turned out that they _did _need ten agents on one mission.

The Doombots had been dormant for quite a while, but there had been _thousands _of them, all cramped in one huge warehouse in the dark. As soon as the Avengers busted down the door, they went mental.

The Doombots were flying around, blasting at things, screaming, attacking, blowing stuff up. It was all Tony could do to keep flying straight without colliding with a robot soaring through the air.

When the entire building was on fire, and Tony could barely make out his teammates, the Fantastic Four, fashionably late as always, arrived. Bruce, who had been sitting in the Quinjet, was instructed to help, as a last resort, and when the great green Hulk started smashing Doombot's heads together, only then did they manage to get a leeway on the number of new and improved Victor Von Doom look-a-likies.

"So kind of you to join us!" Tony flew alongside the Human Torch and received a casual salute before they simultaneously incinerated a group of Doombots on the ground, Tony with his repulsors, Johnny with his...well...fire. Tony was getting tired, and his power supply was dwindling. It was utter chaos and mayhem, and it seemed like they would be fighting all night.

"Stop!"

The shrill cry of Victor Von Doom filled the crumbling warehouse. Tony looked up and saw the villain standing on top of a plinth at the front of the building. He held out his hands, and the robots ceased. Tony prepared his missiles to aim for the nearest robots.

"Jarvis? Power?"

"One hundred percent, sir."

Excellent. Now, just to wait for this maniac to stop monologue-ing.

"My friends, what is going on?" Victor said in a faux-friendly voice, stepping forward, his face obscured by his mask. "Why are you causing such havoc to my creations?"

"Give it up, Doom!" Steve yelled out. "We caught you red handed!"

Victor chuckled evilly. "Yes, and look at you! Helplessly outnumbered, despite the fact we have all of New York's mightiest heroes all together! Who are we missing? Parker, perhaps? Or is he too busy at the moment?"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"And now!" Victor announced. "Either, you can leave, and I'll spare all of your lives, or you will have to succumb to the might of my new, powerful Doombots!"

"Did his mom drop him a lot, as a baby?" Tony muttered, earning a snort from Natasha, only a few feet away, who was clinging to some pipes near the wall to avoid the sea of robots below. He offered her a hand, but she shook her head- clearly she had a plan.

"No?" Victor continued, "Oh well. Attack!"

The Doombots jumped back into action, but almost a second later, just as Tony was charging his repulsors, there was an almighty whirring noise, like the sound a blender makes when you turn it off, and all the robots drooped, and fell to their knees.

"What the frick?" Tony mumbled. It reminded him of the scene in The Phantom Menace when all the droids collapsed because the Federation droid control ship had been blown up by Anakin. But that wasn't important at the moment!

"Aaaghr!" Victor yelled out in fury. "Who has done this?"

Hulk roared in some sort of...celebration?... as he kicked at the fallen robots.

Victor whirled around, just as Thor shouted, "Brother!"

Tony could have laughed. Standing up on the top of the remains of one of the walls was Loki, surveying the wreckage with indifference, whilst inspecting his nails.

"Goodmorning, Victor!" Loki trilled out. "How _are _you?"

Victor's hands curled into fists, before he sent a spark of electricity towards Loki, who only just managed to avoid it with a magical shield, but it wasn't quite enough, and Loki was repelled backwards, off the building. Tony chose that moment to fly at Victor, a missile trained on him, but just as the missile was launched, Victor teleported away.

"Damn," Tony hissed. He wasn't expecting better- they'd need something more cunning than an ambush in order to capture Doctor Doom.

Thor, meanwhile, was hastily leaving the wreckage of the building to go find his brother.

"Steve, can you deal with this?" Tony flew down to the others, who were having fun jumping on robot carcasses.

"Yeah, sure," Steve nodded, as Bruce returned back to normal, and Natasha began chucking robot limbs at Clint.

Children.

Tony flew outside, surveying the area, ignoring the billowing black smoke coming from the burning building, until he saw Thor and Loki. Thor had Loki's shoulders in his grasp, and he was shaking his brother. Tony felt a stab of concern as he registered Loki's pained face.

He didn't interrupt as Loki bent double, clutching his middle, despite the fact that he felt the desperate need to go see what was wrong. Thor was shaking Loki again, appearing to demand answers, before Loki said a few words, and Thor nodded. He then raised his hammer, and in a second, there was a flash of lightning, and they were gone.

Tony growled in frustration, and refrained from blowing anything up.

Was Loki okay?

Was he hurt?

Where did he go?

Why did he go _willingly _with his brother?

Why didn't he even _speak _to Tony, after a month of silence?

Tony was reminded of how Loki had left his bedroom the morning after. Maybe Loki didn't _want _to speak to Tony. Maybe he regretted the whole thing. They _had _been drunk, after all.

And why, _why, _had Loki stopped the Doombots? It had seemed like just a mischievous joke to play on Victor, but Tony couldn't help but feel that Loki had been on the side of the Avengers in this particular mission.

XXX

Loki hadn't been expecting Victor's electric shock, but he still managed to impede it. Unfortunately, the strength of it had knocked him backwards, off the dilapidated wall, and he landed with a smash on the ground outside.

"Ughr," he groaned, picking himself up, before something shot through his body, like he was being stabbed in the stomach.

He looked down to see if his armour had been perforated, but it had not. He pulled off his helmet, and leaned against the slowly disintegrating wall, catching his breath after having been winded by the fall. The shooting sensation continued through his abdomen, but he ignored it.

He had taken much pleasure at seeing Victor's reaction, even if he could not see his face. It had been so marvellous, messing with his robots- pesky things, they were, although, when Loki thought about it, they weren't much different to his own clones, which he produced and disposed of with a simple bit of magic.

And then Tony had been there. Loki tried not to make eye contact with Iron Man. It was still troubling him about how much he thought about their night together a month ago. It was more troubling still how Loki had to physically restrain himself for going back for more. But who could blame him? It had been amazing, even if he had been wracked with regret afterwards.

His stomach cramped again, and Loki clutched at it. What the hell was going on?

"Brother!"

"Oh, Norns help me," Loki muttered, casting his eyes skywards.

Thor came thundering towards him. "Brother! Loki, tell me you are unharmed!"

"I am unharmed," Loki droned tonelessly. "I will take my leave now, I think."

"No!" Thor's great hand closed around his wrist. "Wait a moment! You were thrown from the building, and now you look in pain. Are you injured?"

"No," Loki wrenched his wrist away, but Thor grabbed his shoulders at the same time that his abdomen began twinging again, and he grimaced.

"Loki, do not lie. You are in pain. Let me help you. You have been away for so long-"

"Thor, I do not need your help!" Loki hissed.

Thor frowned, and Loki kept his stare with a glare.

"Loki, your obstinacy will do you no favours," Thor insisted. At that moment, agony ripped from Loki's middle, and he couldn't repress his cry of pain, and he bent forward, grabbing at his stomach.

_What is wrong with me? _He thought, panicking. There was only one person he could think of that might be able to help him.

"Loki!" Thor said, alarmed.

"I- I need you to take me to Frigga," Loki said quietly. He felt woozy, and he could think of no other options. Clearly his pride would have to wait until he could think straight. "But you must do so in secret. I cannot be seen in Asgard."

Thor frowned, but then seemed to agree. "Fine. We shall go."

Loki closed his eyes as Thor grasped his arm and raised Mjolnir. In an instant, the warmth of Thor's thunder surrounded them, and they were whisked away.

Thor landed them in front of Heimdall on the bifrost.

"Heimdall, I must seek my mother's help, for Loki is injured."

Heimdall just raised an eyebrow, and Loki could have _sworn _he was smirking at him, but the sentry said nothing.

"Loki, you will stay on the outskirts, lest you be seen," Thor told him, and Loki nodded. He hated being indebted to his brother, but at the moment, the sensation of being run through with a sword was too much to bear.

They managed to remain unseen, and Thor took them to one of the faraway villas they kept, leaving Loki in the bedchambers to rest, whilst he went to get Frigga.

Loki whimpered in pain, curling up on the bed. Nothing, in all his centuries of knowledge and reading, came to him in that moment to explain what was happening to his body. He had been feeling sick all month, in a way that was difficult for him to describe. He hadn't been feeling bad from a _sickness, _but just something in his mind, stopping him from functioning at his usual level. He had been experiencing headaches and fatigue, which was almost _unheard _of for Loki, but also terrible dizzy spells that left him clutching for a chair. His muscles felt soft and useless. They were all subtle symptoms, making Loki think he was imagining it, but now, with such pain frazzling in his lower thorax, he knew there was something wrong with him. Two weeks ago, he had begun experiencing strange, woozy sensations. He had cleared any headaches with a simple spell, however, and went on his way. This had been happening for the last two weeks, and was not relenting. He had also grown in appetite, which was annoying, as Loki was not one for wasting time eating huge meals that simply left him bloated and full. He'd become slightly concerned when he realised his own behaviour was changing- today, when he heard about the Avenger's plan to storm the Doom warehouse, he had no second thoughts about going there himself and wreaking some havoc, when he knew, before, he would never have associated himself with such a ridiculous class of villain, whether it be to defeat or aid him.

Loki sighed, and put it down to the strange Midgardian atmosphere which he wasn't used to. Frigga would come and tell him what was wrong, and then let him stay in hiding here in Asgard until he recuperated, and then he could return to New York. It did not do well for his reputation to be inactive for too long.

Darkness set in, and Loki was almost asleep, when Thor re-entered with Frigga on his heels.

"Oh, _Loki!" _and Loki couldn't help but feel warmth at his mother's embrace, and wrapped his arms around her middle. "Thor says you are injured."

Loki opened his mouth to speak, but then glared at Thor. Frigga, seeing Loki's gaze, said, "Thor, wait for us outside."

Thor begrudgingly left.

Loki then began describing his symptoms to his mother. As her eyes widened to size of dish plates, he realised something very bad had happened.

XXX

Thor obediently waited outside. His mother and his brother were taking an inordinate amount of time to talk. He had hoped by now that Frigga would be instructing him to go find some rare healing herb or a doctor of some kind. Whatever was wrong with Loki, it surely didn't take hours to diagnose?

Finally, the door opened, and Frigga came out. She looked very solemn.

"Mother, what is wrong?"

Frigga bit her lip, before looking up at Thor and asking, "Has Loki made any..._friends_ whilst in Midgard?"

XXX

X

XXX

"ANTONY STARK!"

The entire Avengers Mansion trembled and quaked with the tumultuous noise that erupted from one Thor Odinson, as he crashed open the front door and began pounding, with great feet, up to the floor where he would most likely find his quarry.

Everyone was in the kitchen, playing poker around the large table. They all jumped at the noise, and everyone looked at Tony, who had an alarmed expression on his face.

"What the devil has him so worked up?" asked Steve.

The thunderous footsteps increased in volume until the kitchen door was wrenched off its hinges, and Thor tore into the room. He looked livid.

"Woah, big guy," Steve stood, ever the diplomat, and put his hands up to try and calm Thor down. "Just...breathe. What is it?"

"Stark!" Thor barked, his eyes zeroing in on Tony. "I am going to murder you."

Tony felt his stomach drop, and a bucket of ice water fell on his head. Loki must have told Thor about their...tryst, yesterday after Loki had saved them from the robots. He stared up at Thor like a rabbit caught in headlights. Well, oh shit.

Thor pushed Steve off of him, as the others stood also, and lunged at Tony, grabbing him by the collar and hefting him up so that his feet brushed the floor. Thor's eyes were narrowed, and his face was furious. He looked about a second away from steam pouring from his ears.

"Thor!" Steve yelled out, as Natasha took up a fighting stance, and Clint reached for his quiver. Bruce was flicking his gaze between Thor, Tony and Steve, whilst taking some deep breaths. "What in the blazes is going on?"

"You!" Thor growled in Tony's face. "How dare you! You traitorous, licentious, dissipated, wretched..._man whore!"_

Tony _had _to laugh at that one. "Well, big guy," he tried to cover his abject fear with brazen humour, and patted the fists around his collar casually. "That's...uh...well, nice to know. If you could just put me back on the fl-"

He was interrupted by Thor slamming him into the wall, his head smacking against the hard plaster, his vision going blurry and nausea rising up from the pain.

There was a commotion, and the pressure around his neck disappeared and he fell to the floor. Tony blinked in time to focus on Steve pulling Thor away, with assistance from Natasha and Clint. Thor was fighting back, trying to get to Tony.

Tony glanced at Bruce, who was still doing his deep breathing. He pulled a grimace, and Bruce cracked a smile. "I would help," Bruce shrugged, "but this is somewhat entertaining, and I don't want to break the building."

"Fair enough," Tony rasped, pulling himself to his feet, his head still swimming, just in time to see Thor detach from the two top assassins and the super-soldier and make a bee line for him. He tried to jump away, around the table to the other side of the kitchen, but Thor was too quick for him. A meaty hand grasped his arm and swung him back. A fist collided with his nose, and he felt it break.

Letting out a cry and then a stream of profanities, he slumped to the floor again as Thor was, once again, dragged off by the others.

"Here." It was Bruce, offering him a hand. "I'll go get the First Aid kit."

Tony accepted the hand, and was pulled up, keeping his fingers pinched on the bridge of his nose to stop the bleeding. Wonderful.

"I'm going to kill him!" Thor was yelling, whilst fighting off the other three.

Natasha pulled a desperate face at Clint and Steve, who were both struggling to subdue him.

"Thor!" Steve was yelling. "Calm down! You've _got _to calm down!"

Tony heard Bruce chuckling heartily as he buried inside one of their cupboards for the First Aid kit. He carefully sat down, once he realised Steve, Clint and Natasha had a hold on Thor, but not keeping his eyes off the big, blonde god.

The yelling, swearing and fighting kept going, even as Bruce put the First Aid kit down in front of Tony. "Would you like me to set your nose, or shall I take you to the hospital? I can probably do a decent job."

Tony shrugged and agreed, and let Bruce fix it, wincing from the pain, as Thor's cries of, "Misbegotten rough-hewn foot-licker!" and "Warped motley-minded pumpion!" and all sorts of other crazy insults filled the room.

"Jesus Christ!" Clint yelled, after taking a punch to the ribs. "What has the bastard even done?"

"He bedded my brother!"

Tony froze, as everyone stopped moving.

"_What?" _Natasha exclaimed. "No way!"

Tony looked up to see the Avengers all staring at him with different expressions. He grinned innocently.

Steve looked somewhere between incredulous and sort of confused. Clearly he was having difficulties imagining Tony and _Loki _doing...the _fondue._

Clint looked horrified. He was gaping in horror at Tony.

Natasha looked highly amused. She was between gaping and laughing.

Bruce just looked somewhat disappointed and put-off, but not surprised.

Thor, however, looked like a wild bull ready to charge.

"Aha," Tony tried to laugh. "Well, you see, when you put it like _that-"_

"Do not try to deceive me, Stark!" Thor boomed. "I am no fool! How dare you sully my brother with your misbegotten indulgences and profane, wicked-"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Tony raised a hand. "He was indulging too, might I add!"

Thor almost growled, mixing with Clint's "Eeew!", Natasha's laugh, Steve's cough of modesty and Bruce's small exhale of impatience.

"You dare defile my family, Stark!" Thor snarled. "Now, you will die."

"Hang on!" Steve grabbed hold of Thor's arm, but he was shrugged off. "No killing is going on here!"

Thor narrowed his eyes at Tony, and his fingers twitched for Mjolnir to deal a deathly blow to Stark's head. Tony swallowed nervously. He felt the need to get into his suit, and fast.

"I understand, Thor, that you're very upset," Steve said tactfully, "and I'm sure Tony is very sorry, aren't you Tony?"

"What?" Tony blurted. "Oh, er, yeah, yeah, of course."

"So you despoil my brother's honour, and you do not even take thanks for it!" Thor raged again, and Tony winced at his poor choice of response.

"No!" Steve yelled again. "No! Tony is very...er...very thankful. He's just...he didn't mean to despoil...anyone," he finished lamely. "He wasn't despoiling anyone's honour. He- he- he just, er, probably wasn't thinking straight."

"I see the way you boast about your conquests, Stark!" Thor scorned. "And now you dare to add my brother to your ever burgeoning list!"

Tony had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"Just to clarify," Natasha piped up. "You...you _willingly _slept with..._Loki?"_

Tony gave her a contemptuous look. "No," he said sarcastically, "I was under an enchantment."

"Do not jest with me, Stark!" Thor yelled. "This may be trivial to you, but it is not in Asgard! Loki was...was..."

"Was what?" Clint pressed.

"Oh, _no," _Natasha gasped gleefully. "Oh, Tony, you _didn't! _You hound!"

Tony looked confusedly between all of them. "Was what?"

Phrases such as _despoiled honour _rang through his mind.

Oh god.

Tony sprang from his seat, and pointed an accusatory finger at Thor. "No! Don't blame me for _that! _He told me he had done it before!"

"Well he _lied!" _Thor said contemptuously. "If you had engaged your brain, Stark, you may have realised that the God of Lies often tells a few occasional fibs!"

Tony felt the blood drain from his face. Oh god. Here he was, in a supposedly quiet night in, discussing Loki's virginity with his brother.

"I think," Steve said slowly, uncomfortably, "that we ought to tone this down a few notches, and discuss this _rationally."_

He looked deploringly at Bruce, who just shrugged and smiled. "I'm all for a few bowls of popcorn and watching, to be honest."

Clint laughed. "Hell yeah. This is like Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but Asgard style!"

Natasha snorted. "I can't believe you_ slept _with one of our top most wanted, Tony."

Tony glared at them all. "I was drunk! He was drunk! We were all drunk! And we haven't spoken since! I don't see what the problem-"

"He is with child."

Tony choked on thin air.

"W-what!" Tony gasped, looking up to see identical looks of shock on his friends' faces, except for Thor, who had a homicidal glint in his eye.

"You heard me correctly, Stark. And now, I will kill you. Slowly."

"This is _better _that Keeping Up With The Kardashians," Tony heard Clint whisper to Natasha.

"Are you joking?" Tony asked Thor weakly.

"I am not."

"Jesus H Christ, I need a lie down."

Thor cracked his knuckles menacingly.

Tony was finding it hard to draw breath. _Surely _he had misheard? His brain shut down, and he couldn't think. Not even to comprehend what Thor had just told him. He couldn't- he was incapable- of even processing those few words.

_With child._

Who even phrased it like that anymore? And if Thor was _serious- _Tony's head began swimming through lack of oxygen and he gasped, his eyes still unfocussed and his brain still static.

_No, Stark, this isn't happening. You're just delusional. _

He forced his brain to engage, because in times of madness, the only thing he could rely on was his brain, and cast his mind back to That Night. Fucking hell, they hadn't used condoms, mostly because they had been drunk and not thinking, and also because _Loki was a guy, goddamnit! Guys don't get pregnant! _But then Tony almost flinched as he remembered Loki's female form, and even then, with handfuls of feminine flesh, Tony hadn't even _thought _about protection, which was both very irresponsible because he doubted Loki was on birth control, because that would be weird for an alien, but also because Loki could have some sort of inter-galactic form of syphilis or something—but that was impossible because, if what Thor was said true, Loki had been a virgin, and yet Tony hadn't even realised he was being lied to...

Tony was brought back to reality when he heard someone hyperventilating. He realised it was himself.

Steve was finding it hard to form words. "But- but- but _how?"_

"Yes, this is most intriguing," Bruce added.

Thor sighed. "Loki is a Jotun. It means he can bear children in many forms."

Tony staggered backwards, grasping his hair.

_This is a dream. It is all a dream. You will wake up, and you will have dreamt the whole thing, and you will never eat cheese before bedtime again..._

Thor took a step towards Tony, who mentally prepared to be murdered.

"Thor, I would prefer it if you _didn't _kill him."

Everyone jumped as silky tones came from the doorway. Loki was standing there, as calm as anything. Tony gulped, and his eyes raked over Loki's body, looking for changes, looking for evidence, looking for _anything _to tell him this was just an elaborate joke, something to teach him why it's dangerous to have sex with crazy strangers...

"Loki!" Thor cried. "What are you doing here? Mother ordered you to rest in Asgard!"

Loki looked up from his fingernails (he appeared to have a fixation on his fingernails) and glared at Thor. "I did not listen to her."

Thor growled in frustration.

"And anyway," Loki said casually, "I had a feeling you would return to Midgard to defend my...honour," he curled his lip.

He glanced at Tony, who only just managed to meet his eye before hastily looking away again.

"Er," Bruce spoke, "I know things have changed, quite a bit, but...shouldn't someone get him?"

Steve made to grab Loki, but Loki stepped backwards. "I would like to remind you that I saved your lives yesterday, from Victor's robots. You are indebted to me."

"Bullshit," Clint said. "We didn't require your help!"

Loki smiled mischievously. "Fine, then bear in mind that I am pregnant, and it will do no good to my unborn child if you were to engage me in battle. It almost ended in disaster last night, thanks to Victor's electrical shock."

He spoke so flippantly, like he was discussing Angelina Jolie's last choice of gown on the red carpet, but Tony looked up.

"Disaster?" he asked, concerned. He was glad to have something to focus on, to stop his brain from overworking and imploding on itself. Something to distract from the mantra _..._

"Loki was forced to return to Asgard to seek our mother's help, as he was experiencing terrible pains in his stomach," Thor supplied.

"Thor!" Loki hissed, annoyed. "All-father above, Thor! You are not my keeper!"

"What sort of pains?" Bruce asked.

Loki ignored him (clearly he still held a grudge). "Now, Thor, if you were to calm down instead of raging like some sort of deranged creature-" Bruce raised an eyebrow and rolled his eyes, "- I would like to be assured that your great lumbering mouth will not go and spew this secret to Odin or any of Asgard, for I will surely never reclaim my dignity if they find out."

Thor frowned, and crossed his arms, but nodded sullenly.

"Right, I shall go," Loki said, and Tony got the feeling he was purposefully avoiding his gaze. "You will not see me for the next six to eight months."

Tony covered his face with his hands, and slid back into a chair as Loki dematerialised in front of them.

He heard Thor huff loudly, before stomping out of the kitchen, and then heard someone sit down next to him.

"Are you okay?" It was Natasha.

"I need a drink," Tony moaned piteously.

"Well, considering it was the bottle that got you into this mess, I'd suggest laying it off for a bit."

"Thanks for the sympathy," he groused.

"Hey," Clint said, slapping him on the back. "Don't take it so badly. You're gonna be a dad."

At those words, a miniature explosion occurred inside Tony's head. Everything went numb.

_A child. A child has been brought into this mess, Tony, just because you couldn't keep it in your pants for one night._

And not just any child. This was Loki's child. Loki was _pregnant. _Loki was having Tony's baby.

"Fury is going to be _mad!" _Clint chuckled, and Tony raised his head to glare at him.

"I don't think you're giving this the gravity it deserves," Natasha smacked him upside the head. "You do realise that Loki is our _enemy, _and pregnant or not, we're still gonna have to get him at some point."

Something flared up in Tony, and he sat up haughtily. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that yesterday's thing with Doom was just lucky. If he'd been against us, do you realise how screwed we would have been?" Natasha said, frowning. "And yeah, I know it's Thor's brother, but we can't be vulnerable to such a risk."

Tony stood up. "You would kill him, wouldn't you, if you had the chance?"

Natasha looked up at him expressionlessly. "Yes I would."

"Even when he's pregnant. You'd kill an innocent life."

"Oh, please!" Natasha scoffed, and also stood up to level Tony with a poisonous glare. "Don't tell me you've become _sentimental."_

Clint raised a hand to Natasha's elbow, looking worried.

"Sentimental? No," Tony said lowly. "I'm not a monster, Natasha, despite what you think. And I know better than to murder children. Maybe it's something you need to learn yourself."

And with that he turned and left the room, something akin to anger in his veins, but also the desperate need to be _alone, _and process what he'd just learnt in the last few minutes.

It wasn't until he collapsed on his bed that he realised, in all truths, the Avengers had every right to want to kill Loki. To them, he was a murderous psychopath. It didn't matter to them if some hideous alien spawn got in the way. Loki had butchered countless human infants with no remorse.

At that moment, it struck Tony like a ton of bricks.

Inside Loki's...whatever was beneath his skin -Tony didn't want to think too hard about Jotun anatomy- there was a tiny cluster of cells forming something half himself, half Loki. A baby. A child. Someone who would grow up to have opinions, feelings, thoughts, ideas.

"Aghr!" he cried, and rolled over onto his front, shoving his face into the pillow. "This is unbelievable."

"That's what I thought, initially."

Tony fell off the bed in surprise. Blinking and rubbing his head, he looked up from the floor and saw Loki hovering near the doorway.

Tony frowned and squinted- Loki looked tired, and somewhat lank.

"Come in, instead of skulking," Tony grumbled, picking himself up and dusting himself down.

Loki hesitated before coming in and sitting at the chair by Tony's dresser.

"What do you want?" Tony asked wearily, only realising too late how snappish he sounded.

"Well, I decided you deserved more of an explanation," Loki said lightly, politely. Tony stared at him, before waving his hand in a gesture to continue. "Firstly, I had no knowledge of the fact that I am capable of conceiving. Jotuns have a long and complex mating ritual that is..._different _to human sexual intercourse. I gave it no mind when we...when...when-"

"Yeah, I get it," Tony spared him any embarrassment.

"Secondly, I didn't know myself until yesterday when, after the altercation with Victor, I started experiencing cramping. When I went to my mother, only then did she realise that I was pregnant, and told me. I could scarcely believe her. I thought she was mocking me," Loki sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. "And then she told Thor. And then they both demanded from me who it was. That was when your name came up. I'm very sorry for my brother's brutish behaviour. I didn't expect him to react with such..."

"Over-protectiveness?" Tony offered, and Loki grimaced.

"Sex is seen differently in Asgard, Tony," Loki explained. "There are no such things as one-night-stands back there. There are...what would you call them?... prostitutes, I think, and Thor is a little hypocritical for accusing me of promiscuity when he himself—anyway," Loki stopped himself before he started ranting.

"I understand," Tony said. "He's protective of you, he knows about my reputation, and now you're...you're..."

"Yes, I know," Loki smiled slightly.

There was a silence as Loki just smiled into thin air.

"I will go to the Norns, I think," Loki told him.

"Who?"

"They are...similar to priestesses," Loki thought for a moment. "Then I can leave it with them, and you and I needn't worry about anything."

Tony frowned, but nodded. What else could he do? "All right. What sort of..." he cleared his throat. "What will it...look like?"

Loki shot him an amused smile. "It will look like a human baby, Stark. But it may have some Jotun colourings and markings. I use a glamouring enchantment, which can easily be passed on, but why bother with a baby who is going to be raised by giants anyway? It will undoubtedly have characteristics of a god, but also half human, obviously."

"Huh," Tony mulled it over in his mind. "Intriguing."

"That is what your friend said," Loki remarked.

"What, Bruce?" Tony asked, and Loki scowled. "Yeah, he's probably more interested from a scientific point of view."

"And are you not?" Loki asked, his brow furrowing in curiosity, as he shifted himself to a more comfortable position on the chair. "Man of science?"

Tony snorted. "No, I'm more interested in the whole _I-managed-to-knock-someone-up _bit."

Loki laughed, and Tony tried not to stare too much.

"I can't quite believe I'm saying this," Loki fiddled with his shirt cuff, "But I really am sorry this has happened. I was the one to tell you to forget the whole affair, and here I am, bringing it all back to the forefront."

"Hey, it's hardly your fault," Tony conceded. He felt a little uncomfortable- if Loki was going to start talking about _feelings _again, Tony would need a drink.

"At least within a year, it will all be over," Loki tried to reassure them both.

Something was picking on the edge of Tony's mind. "Don't you... don't you want to keep it yourself? Y'know, raise it as a minion, train it and stuff, and then use it against us when we've let our guard down?"

Loki looked mildly offended. "Use a child as a weapon? _My _child? Tony, I would have thought our..._acquaintance _would have taught you that I am not as treacherous as that!"

"Really?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

Loki shifted his gaze away. "Also...it is prophesised that I shall have many children and...well, it is never pleasant outcomes for any of them. I would prefer it if they kept well away from me, for their own good."

Sadness tugged at Tony's heart, and he realised just _why _Loki was the way he was. He couldn't imagine being _foretold _that he would always suffer and be miserable. No wonder he turned to evil. Well, evil-ish.

There was more silence.

"It still hasn't quite sunk in, yet," Tony admitted with a nervous laugh.

Loki let out his own amused chuckle. "No, it hasn't quite for me either! It's like watching a film, isn't it! It feels like it's happening to other characters, not myself, and I'm just witnessing it all. Detached from reality."

Tony felt Loki had summed it up in a nutshell. This would be the point where he would be yelling at his fictitious television counterpart to kiss the woman already!

But that didn't seem appropriate. Not with Thor suspecting him only a few floors below.

Something else came to Tony's mind. "Oh! Oh, yeah, a bone I want to pick with you!"

Loki raised an eyebrow.

"What was all that _I've done it before _bullshit?" Tony demanded, pointing an accusatory finger at the god, who simply tried to quell a smile. "You filthy liar!"

Loki smirked to himself. "Yes, well, I couldn't bear the idea of being treated like fragile glass. Can you blame me that?"

Tony ground his teeth. "Fine. But I'm still angry!"

Loki shrugged. "Well, I should surely be going," he said, standing up. Tony was all ready to kick him out of his balcony, when suddenly Loki cried out in pain, and staggered back into the chair.

"Oh, god, what is it?" Tony panicked, his hands flailing around Loki's body, unsure if he should touch.

"Nothing!" Loki gasped. "Just- I haven't quite recuperated from Victor's electric blast, and the child dislikes sharp movement!"

Tony found it oddly endearing that Loki was referring to it as "the child", when it was barely a solid mass of cells. "What can I do?"

"I just need to breathe it off," Loki waved a hand in dismissal, the other still wrapped around his middle.

"How can it be causing you pain? Surely it hasn't even formed yet?" Tony asked, confused.

"It is a magical being, apparently," Loki pressed into his abdomen with the heel of his palm. "It is emitting magical energy to alert me of a situation or danger."

"That is...incredible," Tony admitted.

"Yes, well, any child of mine _would _be incredible. I'm just _that _fabulous," Loki joked, but Tony wasn't buying any of it, because his eyes were sparkling with pain.

"I'm going to get your brother."

"NO!" Loki lunged forward to grab Tony's wrist as he turned to leave, but then hissed with more discomfort. "No! Please! I do not want Thor's involvement!"

Tony was wracked with indecision. "Then tell me what I can do to help!"

"I will take my leave," Loki gathered his bearings, still wincing. "When I can rest at home, I will be fine. There is nothing harmful happening, do not worry."

"Okay, fine," Tony said begrudgingly.

Loki stood up straight, and went over to the window. Tony frowned- this was the second time in a month Loki had teleported out of his bedroom, leaving Tony feeling as if there was something he should be saying.

Loki straightened up with a grimace, and then with one last lingering look at Tony, disappeared without a sound.

Tony slumped against the wall and buried his head in his hands.

_..._

_You're going to be a father._

Tony groaned. Even with Loki's assurance that the child would be raised by gods far away from here, Tony felt unease with the knowledge that somewhere out there, there would be _his _child growing up, living, experiencing life without real parents, and something about that really hit home for Tony.

He remembered his own father with unpleasant accuracy- cold, calculating and unloving. Howard Stark would have probably rejoiced at the opportunity to hand Tony over to some aliens far in space.

Tony had never envisioned babies as part of his future. Not even with the fleeting Pepper ordeal. Maybe that was why it hadn't lasted with them- he was too emotionally stunted and unable to look further than a future that didn't involve new inventions and some kind of party.

"Sir," JARVIS intoned, "Director Fury is on his way."

"Oh _god!" _Tony groaned. "Is there any way you can stop him?"

"Not really, sir."

Tony went over to his dresser and slumped on the chair that Loki had been sitting on, and waited for hell to arrive.

There were three short knocks on his door, and Tony mumbled a disgruntled "Come in."

Fury entered, looking and displeased and aggravated as usual.

"Stark, you better explain to be what the _fuck _is going on," Fury said in a low, dangerous voice. "Why am I hearing from Agent Barton that you have _impregnated _our top most wanted?"

Tony gave Fury a weary sigh. "Look, I didn't _plan _any of this, alright-"

"You better _not _have fucking 'planned' any of this!" Fury said angrily. "Now get your ass in my office, before I do something I might regret!"

"Must I?" Tony asked, tiredly. "Can't you just shout at me, and then be done with it?"

"What do you think this is, a joke?" Fury said heatedly.

"No! Not at all," Tony assured.

"Because, Stark, from my point of view, you've been fraternising with the enemy," Fury hissed. "Tell me one reason why I shouldn't have you out on your ass right now?"

"Fraternising with the e- what the hell?" Tony said incredulously. "You can't kick me out anyway! This is my fucking house!"

"I can do what I like, if I have reason to believe you might be a threat to us," Fury replied maliciously.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Tony held up his hands. "You've got it all wrong! Loki and I...we're not, er, _dating _or anything!"

"I should hope not!"

"It was just a onetime thing," Tony tried to seem calm, relaxed, and not completely wired. "And an accident. And we were drunk. Very drunk."

Fury seemed to mull it over. "What was the extent of his interference yesterday at the warehouse?"

"I dunno!" Tony said truthfully. "He felt like screwing Doom over? He had to be whisked off to Asgard pretty quick after, because he was hurt by Doom's electric shock. That's when he found out he was...was..."

"Pregnant?" Fury supplied scornfully. "Really, Stark, out of _all _the people you could have chosen to knock up-"

"It was an accident!" Tony snapped, and Fury _may _have cracked a half smile, but that was too unlikely to even consider.

"And now I hear," Fury jumped straight back into his rant, "that he was right here in Avengers headquarters, having a friendly _chat!"_

"Alright, Nick, calm down," Tony rubbed his face. "He's not much of a threat. The...thing in him has sort of weakened him. I wouldn't be surprised if Loki is out of action for the next few months."

There was silence.

Tony looked up to see Fury's usually...furious... face blank.

"What?" Tony asked.

"This is interesting," Fury seemed to be thinking. "This is very interesting. When you say 'out of action', does that mean he is vulnerable?"

"Yeah, I guess so. He can still perform magic, but he can't physically fight," Tony shrugged. "He was in pain when he was here, still recovering from yesterday's attack from Doom."

Fury actually _did _smile then, and Tony thought it was the singularly creepiest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"This is good," he said with glee. "This is very good. If we can just isolate him, wherever he is, we can then-"

"You sound like Natasha," Tony said stonily, standing up. "She was prepared to murder him, even if it means murdering the child."

"The _child, _Stark," Fury said with disdain, "is nothing more than some alien which I have no responsibility over. If anything, it has proved a useful tool-"

"_Tool?"_

"-in perhaps finally getting an upper hand over Loki. It would be nice to finish this," Fury ended with a hard tone.

Tony couldn't help but stare in disbelief at Fury. Sure, he knew the guy was hardened and tough and unemotional, but there was something very _off _about murdering somebody whilst they're pregnant and susceptible.

"You _will _keep this from Thor," Fury said firmly, pointing a finger at Tony. "You want good? You want to win? You want to be on the _right team, _don't you Stark?"

Tony blinked and reigned in his anger. "Yes."

"Good. Well done, Stark. Who would have thought _you _would provide us with the opportune moment?"

And with a bit of a smirk, Fury left, leaving Tony shaking in the middle of his bedroom.

XXX

Loki appeared in his apartment, and went straight for his couch.

"Please, stop it," he patted his abdomen slightly. "This is most inconvenient."

The pain abated slightly, but most probably because at that moment Loki sank into his mountain of cushions. He closed his eyes, and fumbled for a blanket nearby to wrap around himself.

Of all the things he had to worry about, now he had to add his stupid lumbering brother to the list. To be honest, Thor's reaction, whilst somewhat entertaining, had made Loki realise how Thor was still deluded enough to count Loki as his family. There were no blood ties, no marital ties, heck, they weren't even the same species! And yet Thor held so dearly onto those pathetic childhood memories.

Frigga had tried to stop him from following Thor's angry warpath back to Midgard, but Loki had shaken her off.

"We want you to stay," Frigga had told him, holding onto his arm.

"No, _you _want me to stay. The king does not. Especially now that I am in this...condition," Loki had said bitterly.

"Odin will love his son unconditionally, and as an extension, his grandson, whether he be Jotun, human, Aesir or a mix of everything," Frigga had insisted.

"That is absurd, and—grandson? What makes you so sure it is a boy?" Loki asked, frowning.

Frigga had just smiled. "Call it a woman's instinct."

But then Loki had firmly left, knowing that if he did not stop Thor, he would find Tony Stark's head on a pike on the top of Stark Tower.

Loki sighed, and waved his hand. A cup of tea materialised, and he caught it, before realising that caffeine wasn't really a good idea, and transformed it into a hot chocolate. Then, thinking he had nothing to lose, conjured up extra whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles. He snuggled into his blanket and cushions, and sipped at his hot beverage, one hand resting softly on the top of his stomach.

He closed his eyes, and remembered Tony's shocked face. Poor Stark- such a simple, straight life he had been living. And now he had sired a child with an alien. Loki smiled to himself. Despite all this, despite this terrible outcome, he would never change that night together. Tony had worn and calloused hands which had gripped at Loki's limbs so tightly, it had been _spectacular, _just to be held, to be wanted, and to have such a strong sensation of being desired, the safety of a warm, solid body. It was nothing like Loki could have possibly imagined.

Tony had made his brain switch off. Although, on hindsight, that could have been the liquor. But either way, the intense combination drunkenness and an electrifying touch had made Loki feel more contented than he had ever in his life.

Loki's eyes flickered closed, and his head lolled to one side. Bluish light permeated his eyelids, and he took a deep breath. A silhouette appeared above him, manifesting itself in the form of Stark.

"_Loki..."_

Tony. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but a rough fingertip silenced him.

"_Shhh, just relax. I'm going to make it all better."_

Loki nodded dumbly, and stretched out, as Tony climbed onto the couch, knees either side of Loki's hips. Tony's fuzzy outline fluctuated, but Loki was too tired to focus properly. He reached up with a hand, but Tony caught it and pressed it to his chest, encasing it with his hands. Tony's body was warm and hard, and Loki sighed with satisfaction.

Soft lips pressed to the corner of Loki's mouth, a firm pressure, and it sent shivers through Loki's body. He arched his spine and tilted his head to capture Tony's mouth. Hot, wet lips pushed insistently against Loki's pliant mouth, and Loki put up no resistance. He let Tony coax his jaw wider with his fingers, so as to plunder inside, licking the backs of Loki's teeth, and _oh _it was so wonderful, just the mesh of skin and lips and tongues, completely uncoordinated but it was making Loki lightheaded.

Loki crawled his hands up to Tony's shoulders, digging his fingers in, and moaning softly as Tony's arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him up slightly from the couch, pressing them together. Tony chose that moment to pull away from the kiss, and began sucking on the edge of Loki's chin, working his way down his neck, biting with his teeth until Loki gasped, and then running his tongue along the reddened skin. Loki threw his head back, arching up even more, trying to get closer, closer...

Tony's harsh kisses continued down to the collar to Loki's shirt, where he began unbuttoning it, still pressing his lips along Loki's collarbones, scraping his teeth down Loki's sternum, undoing each button and pushing the cotton away, and Loki was so thankful for human clothing with sensible buttons and clasps, none of this Asgardian leather, where everything had so many clasps and laces and buckles, it made this sort of casual foreplay almost- _oh oh oh god! _Loki was distracted as Tony thumbed a nipple, then dipped his tongue in Loki's navel. Loki buried his hands in Tony's thick hair, pulling it tight between his fingers, gasping for breath as Tony came to his trouser belt and began pulling it open.

"Wha..." Loki panted, trying to look down at Tony, "What are you d-"

"Shh," Tony pressed another kiss to the flat plane of skin above Loki's hipbone, then another, and then started laving the skin with his tongue, all the while pulling apart Loki's belt, and then undoing the zip. Loki didn't even know that the skin over his hips was an erogenous zone at all, but apparently yes, it was, very much so.

But then, Loki's mind was wiped clean, as Tony brought his hand in Loki's trousers, and palmed at his cock through his underwear, which was quickly becoming hard, and hot liquid seemed to surge through his veins, causing his muscles to constrict and stiffen.

"Shhh, relax," Tony whispered again, as Loki emitted a small whine.

Tony hooked his fingers around the waistband of Loki's underwear, and began tugging them down. Loki carded his fingers through Tony's hair, as he might do to a cat. A nervous sort of energy was jumping through his limbs.

"Tony, what are you-?"

"Shhh," Tony crooned. "Just lie back, and enjoy."

His voice seemed to echo in the room, and a firm hand pressed Loki down flat onto his back, as Tony situated himself at the other end between his legs.

When Loki's trousers and underwear were around his knees, he was fully hard and aching for some sort of touch. Tony was staring at his cock with interest, and Loki's neck hurt from holding his head up to stare down the couch.

Tony wrapped his hand around the base of Loki's cock, and Loki's head thumped back on a cushion, with a stifled, "Oh _Tony!" _as such wonderful sensations began swirling from his groin upwards throughout his body.

Tony pulled steadily on Loki's cock, his other hand tracing patterns on Loki's hip, until Loki was crying out, head thrown back, neck exposed, his fingers wrapped around Tony's hair, his whole body shaking minutely.

When Tony put his mouth around the head of his cock, white explosions erupted in Loki's eyes. He cried out, as hot, wet heat slowly engulfed his prick, and he jerked under Tony's grasp. Tony resolutely pinned Loki down by the waist, chuckling around Loki's cock, making Loki writhe and whimper.

"T-Tony!" Loki gasped. "Tony!"

Tony responded by taking Loki's cock further into his mouth, his head bobbing back and forth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking in such an obscene way that Loki thought he would physically combust.

The pleasure that was lancing through him was akin to nothing Loki had experienced before Tony Stark. He was simultaneously falling and soaring. He was on fire, he was drowning, he was—

A loud crash jerked Loki out of his dream. He sat up abruptly, his hair on end, as he stiffened in anticipation of an attack.

There was none; his mug had fallen to the floor as he slept, and smashed into five large pieces.

Loki felt like he could cry. He was harder than he had ever been in his life, and he'd just had an erotic dream about Tony Stark giving him oral sex.

He groaned piteously, and buried himself deeper into his covers, despite his rather large situation in his trousers. What a nightmare.

He pressed his face into a cushion, and tried to banish the dream from his mind. It had been such a _lovely _dream. It wouldn't do to become so enamoured with Stark.

The pain in his abdomen had ceased, thank the heavens, and Loki curled in on himself, covering himself in the blankets and cushions, unable to muster the will to get up to do anything, except to wallow in his own self pity.

**End of Chapter 2!**

**I must say a HUGE thank you to everyone who reads this fic! It seriously makes my day. I sit there hitting F5, watching the reader stats increase, and I am completely overwhelmed by the number of people who even **_**consider **_**reading this. Thank you. **

**Even more of a thank you to those who review. I love your feedback, and it makes me so happy.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I felt there wasn't nearly enough sexy stuff, so I threw in a little at the end there. Poor Loki.**

**I'm also aware that not a lot of people will appreciate the whole male pregnancy thing, so I apologise. Maybe you'll change your mind when there's a little Tony-Loki child running around. Maybe you'd prefer it if Loki was a woman? I suggest you ask him nicely, and he might stay female for your sakes.**

**Ellie? What did you think? : )**

**Please review! Thank you all so much for reading!**

**Mx**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Firstly- I'm so sorry about the wait. Hopefully the length will make up for the amount of time I've made you wait. This was a real bastard to write out and edit. I'm sorry if the standard is a little lax.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three- Define Deliverance**

Tony sat stiffly in the armchair around the TV, pretending that he couldn't feel a hole being gorged into his face by Thor's murderous glare.

They were watching a film, and the lights were off, but Tony could still sense Thor incinerating him with his thoughts. Luckily, Thor was the non-magical one in the family, and the only discomfort Tony felt was the nervous sensation of somebody looking at him.

For some reason, Steve had put his foot down, insisting that Tony come down and "socialise" with the group, which, for all intents and purposes, meant watching a film or playing Cluedo.

And nobody liked playing Cluedo with Tony any more.

So they were watching a Star Wars prequel- Tony wasn't paying enough attention to know which one, and either way, he was more of an Original Trilogy kinda guy- but Thor had maintained a thunderous glower at him for the last hour and a half, and it was psyching him out.

Over the last week, nobody had the gall to speak to him, other than "pass me the sugar", and so Tony had cooped himself up in his room, surrounded by graphics tablets and large computer screens, trying and failing to design something of actual worth. All he could think about was a certain God of Mischief, and the baleful look he had given Tony before he disappeared that night.

The dreams still persisted, which Tony was starting to find wearisome. He almost dreaded going to sleep, knowing that he would only wake up a few hours later, sweating and hard, his hands grasping for a body that wasn't there.

New York itself had been quite quiet too- Victor Von Doom had retreated into whatever hidey hole he had in Latveria, and no other villains had decided to strike. It was rather disconcerting, and Tony could feel the tension rising in each of his team members.

He was positive they were all waiting for Loki to drop the bomb shell, metaphorically speaking, or for another alien invasion. The lack of action from the Trickster was making them all nervous. Even Tony, who, whilst he somewhat trusted Loki, was still wary of the fact that Loki was more than slightly unstable and likely to just throw his hands in the air with a cry of "What the heck!" and nuke up the Avengers mansion just for a laugh.

Pepper had come to visit him yesterday. Tony had been expecting yelling, screaming, things being thrown at his head. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and said a wry, "Congratulations." It was the first kind words he had heard in quite a while, and he had been pleasantly surprised. She then took him out for lunch, where she announced Happy was taking her on a date this weekend. Tony had simply stared at her, before saying,

"I knew he had the hots for you."

Pepper had playfully slapped his arm, and just like old times, it fell into their usual routine.

When their sandwiches had arrived, with two cups of coffee, Pepper had looked at him seriously, and said, "So. What is going on in your head?"

Tony had stalled, taking a bite of food, trying to find a way out of answering, but Pepper was having none of it.

"Tony," she warned. "This is a big deal. You can't deal with it on your own."

"So you're my therapist now, are you?" he asked her, dodging the question.

"Oh, I thought that was in the job description anyway," she said sarcastically. "Tony, this isn't just you knocking up some woman you met in a bar. This is more serious than that. This is _Loki. _Phil told me the guy saved your lives last week. What's going on?"

"You make it sound like he saved our lives _because _I knocked him up," Tony said dryly. "That's not true. He was just screwing around with Doctor Doom. It had nothing to do with me."

"Sure," Pepper dismissed. "What happened between you guys? I want to know."

"Gory details and all?"

"Shut up, Tony," Pepper scrunched up her nose. "It's still a bit creepy imagining that guy doing..._anything. _Does he even have skin under there? Are you sure he's not, y'know, an automaton or-"

"Hey! Leave him alone," Tony said with a grin. "It's that kind of attitude that's made him as unstable as he is."

Pepper's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you _like_ him!"

"I do not!"

"You do!" she blinked several times. "Oh, this is _so _much more interesting than I thought it would be!"

Tony grumbled under his breath. "Look, like most people, there's more to him than we know about. He's not..._Voldemort."_

Pepper snorted.

"His family issues make mine look stupid. I think he's just a bit starved for affection."

"Enter Tony," Pepper waggled her eyebrows, and Tony choked on his coffee with a laugh.

They ate in companionable silence, until Pepper spoke again. "So what about the baby? Is he keeping it?"

"Sort of," Tony swallowed nervously. "He's giving it up to some holy goddesses or something, who'll look after it."

Pepper pouted. "Why? Why can't you keep it?"

"I don't want to keep it! Pepper, I'd be the worst father in the universe!"

"I dunno, Tony, I think you'd have to steal the title off Odin, first," she joked, and Tony chuckled.

"Yep, I should write a companion piece to Odin's published works: _The All-Father's Guide to First Class Parenting," _he giggled, and Pepper tried to stifle her laughs.

"Shame," she returned to topic. "I was hoping, if it were a girl, you would call it Pepper."

Tony grinned. "I'll suggest it to His Majesty, next time I see him."

"Are you planning on keeping in touch?" Pepper asked, returning to seriousness.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek in contemplation. "I dunno. He's not... You can't _plan _meetings with him. He just _appears, _and you have to hope he doesn't blast your head off. I suppose I'll see him if he wants to see me."

Pepper patted his hand. "I'm sure he doesn't want to do this alone. Why don't you try sending him a message?"

"What do you think his email address is?" Tony asked sarcastically. "_Loki is awesome at gee mail dot com?"_

Pepper grinned. "Worth a try."

"Anyway, I'm sure he'll cope fine on his own without my interference," Tony shrugged.

"Tony, do you know what happens to pregnant women?" Pepper asked him, raising an eyebrow. Tony shrugged.

"They get fat?"

"You deserve your head to be blown off," Pepper said, frowning at him. "No, you don't understand. Sure, maybe he's not actually a woman, but if his pregnancy is anything like a human's, he's going to be depressed, erratic and emotionally unbalanced. He doesn't have any friends-"

"That's hardly _my _fault!"

"- he doesn't have any family, other than Thor, and Thor isn't exactly going to be of much help, and he's in a foreign land, with some strange half-breed growing inside of him-"

"Hey!"

"- and the father of his child is his enemy! Just try and imagine how he feels!"

Tony scowled, and crossed his arms defensively. "Loki has his mother," he said, as a bit of a last effort. "She seems nice enough."

Pepper shrugged. "Maybe that will be enough. Do you think so?"

"No," Tony said sulkily. "What do you want me to do? Order him a million dollars worth of goods from Mother Care?"

Pepper shook her head. "That's your problem. You forget that some things can't be bought with money, power or intellect."

"Money, power and intellect have worked pretty well for me so far," Tony shot back.

Pepper just smiled that infuriating, all-knowing smile at him.

When he returned to the mansion, he was greeted by Thor's homicidal glare. The god was sharpening pencils with his fingernails, sitting at the kitchen table, and for all the world looking like a menacing, evil, yet cute and fluffy puppy.

Agent Coulson was also at the kitchen table, doing what looked like very boring admin for SHIELD, hence the need for multiple pencils, and he managed to give Tony a sincere smile.

Tony had slumped up to his room, falling onto sheets that no longer smelt like roasted chestnuts in the winter.

XXX

"Will you _stop _it!" Tony cried out, after he could take no more.

Everyone looked round to see Tony glaring at Thor from across the table, where they were all eating Chinese takeaway.

Thor simply narrowed his eyes at Tony, and continued shredding his fried chicken wings in his hands, violently.

"I can take this no more!" Tony declared, pointing a chopstick at Thor's head. "If you're gonna murder me, fucking hell, get it over with already! This whole silent-treatment, let's-give-Tony-the-evils thing isn't gonna work! I've had it up to here!" he pointed his chopstick about a foot above his own head.

Steve sighed and rubbed his temples, as Clint and Natasha looked between Thor and Tony like a tennis match, still sucking up noodles.

"Look, Thor," Steve said wearily. "Cut it out. He's apologised. No harm, no foul."

Thor pursed his lips like a harried housewife, and looked away, flicking his hair back. Tony almost laughed. Almost. He still valued his life to some extent.

"Just...just spit it out!" Tony said, almost deploringly. "You look like you've been dying to tell me something for a whole two weeks! Just say it! I'm all ears!"

"I have nothing to say to you," Thor said imperiously.

"Like hell," Tony spat. "Come on, big guy, out with it!"

"I shall not converse with somebody as wretched as you are," Thor stood up, his head held high, glowing down his nose at Tony. "You are not worthy of my words."

Tony gaped, before rage spilled over him. Something snapped, and his brain-to-mouth filter disintegrated. "Like fuck I'm not worthy! You think I'm some philandering miscreant, and yet, did you know your brother was planning on going to a _bar _that night? He was going to go to some seedy nightclub in New York, where _anybody _could have had him. Did you know that?"

Thor's face went red with fury. "I will not speak in such a manner about my broth-"

"I wanted to _stop," _Tony yelled, standing also, then realising how much shorter than Thor he was. "I wanted to stop, because he was drunk, and I didn't want him to regret anything. So before you begin pointing an accusatory finger at me, just think that it could have been worse. He could have been picked up by a murderer or a pimp or someone _dangerous, _when he was vulnerable. And the only reason it ended up where it did was because _I felt sorry for him!"_

Thor opened his mouth to stutter some defensive words, but he fell short. Either way, Tony was on a roll.

"He was telling me about all the horrible things he's suffered, and I just thought, maybe for _one night, _he might be reprieved of all the things you blame him for!"

Thor scoffed. "Nobody cares for Loki like I do-"

"He told me about how you sewed his lips together!" Tony raged, but his voice cracked slightly at the end, and pity wrangled into his words, making them sound pathetic. He felt a swell of disgust and sorrow fill him as mental images of the pinprick marks around Loki's lying lips filled his mind.

Thor looked honestly surprised at Tony knew this tale, but immediately defended himself. "They wanted his head! They would have beheaded him!"

At this point Tony realised that they had an audience. Bruce had appeared at the kitchen door, from where he had been reading in his office, and Agent Coulson was nervously standing behind him. Fury himself was with them, with a displeased look on his face. Steve had stood up, ready to break up a fight, and Clint and Natasha were wearing similar looks of confusion and astonishment at Tony's outburst.

"Before you start indicting me for some terrible crime I've perpetrated against your family," Tony said weakly, yet resolutely, "just remember that he doesn't hold meaccountable for anything, and maybe you should be concentrating of repairing your ties with _him, _rather than severing your ties with _me."_

Feeling that he had suitably "made a scene", Tony shouldered his way past Bruce, Phil and Fury, and made his way up to his room.

Once there, he sighed dejectedly at all his scrap designs and hastily doodled plans- the mishmash content of his brain- and went to flop across his bed. He seemed to be doing this a lot lately. It was like every time he returned, he hoped it would have a certain somebody in it.

"Jarvis," Tony croaked to his AI. "I want you to do a scan of New York for Loki. Can you do that?"

"I can try, sir," Jarvis replied. His good, loyal, reliable AI- how would Tony survive without him.

"Try and pull up images from CCTV that match his facial structure from what we have on him on file."

"Yes, sir."

Tony covered his face with his hands, feeling more tired than he ever had in his life. He then sat up, deciding he wasn't going to sit here and wallow any longer.

He stood and made his way to his private living room area- it was basically a study, now. He sat at the desk, and began fiddling around with the computer, trying to put his mind at ease.

The knock at the door startled him.

He eyed it suspiciously- nobody around here would ever _knock _any more. The Avengers were such a bunch of drama queens, they would always barge right in. Even Steve.

He went over to his door and opened it. Thor greeted him on the other side, and Tony almost recoiled.

_This is it. I'm going to die, _Tony thought, with fear.

"Steve told me to come and apologise," Thor said gruffly, playing with his fingers in one hand, unable to look at Tony. It reminded Tony of a young boy being reprimanded by a parent. He half expected Thor to start scuffing his shoe on the carpet.

"Why?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"He said I was being unfair to you."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Fine. Apology accepted."

He thought that was a pretty unsubtle way of saying _leave me the fuck alone, _but apparently Thor saw it as an invitation to come in.

"You have to understand, Stark, that Loki is my baby brother," Thor began, and Tony restrained the urge to head straight for the bar. "I detest the mere thought of someone defiling him in such a way."

Tony grimaced and shook off the uncomfortable feeling of discussing "defiling" Loki with his brother. Thor went over to the sofa and sat down, obviously to try and not be intimidating. Tony was having none of it.

"But from what Agent Coulson has told me, apparently it is common practice on Midgard to parent a child out of wedlock, without even reciprocated love between them," Thor said in such a naive, innocent, and totally perplexed way that it was almost endearing. Tony crossed his arms and surveyed Thor cautiously.

"So, with that in mind, I will try and keep an open perspective on whatever relationship you choose to pursue with Loki," Thor gave a pained, half-smile at Tony.

"Well, it seems to me to be pretty nonexistent," Tony admitted to Thor. "I haven't seen him for two weeks, since he returned from Asgard."

Thor's brow furrowed. "You haven't seen him? I thought you were both communicating?"

"Nope," Tony shrugged. "He seems fine on his own. I'm sure as soon as he's delivered the...parcel to the Norns, he'll be back to trying to blow up New York in no time."

"The Norns?" Thor seemed to be getting more and more confused as the conversation progressed. "Why is he travelling to the Norns?"

"He said something about giving the child up to them, so they can have it," Tony said indifferently.

"What?" Thor got up, an alarmed and upset expression on his face. "Why? Why is he not keeping it? What is the meaning of this?"

Tony backed off several steps- he didn't want Thor taking out his aggression on him again.

"Maybe he feels he's not up to it," Tony shrugged. "It's his decision. God knows I'm definitely not up to it."

Thor looked around the room for an answer, getting increasingly agitated. "This is most upsetting."

"Why?"

"Even if you do not put much store in family, Stark," Thor said spitefully, "I still do. This is my brother's child! How upsetting. If you see him again, you_ must _reason with him!"

"And say what?" Tony demanded. "He knows better than you or I! Do _you _want to raise it?"

"I would!" Thor declared, "If it meant giving it a home and a family!"

Tony shook his head. "Whatever, Thor. You tell him that yourself. I'm too tired to deal with this."

Thor headed for the door, still with a saddened expression on his face. "Stark, whilst I strongly dislike you still, I think there was some truth in your words. I know you are not a cruel man, and it is hardly as if you intentionally _hurt _my brother. Unfortunately, Agent Coulson told me of the horrors that occur in the back alleys of New York, and you are right- if Loki was going to behave in such a way with _someone, _it was best that it was you."

Tony did not know if that was a compliment or not, so remained silent as Thor made to leave.

"Oh, and whilst I am most forgiving, you would do well to pray to Fortune that the All-Father does not hear of your perversion against his son, otherwise you will suffer most greatly," Thor managed a devious smirk, and shut the door behind him.

Tony stood in the centre of the room for a moment, before gritting his teeth and refraining from screaming out loud.

Whilst it was nice to know that Thor wasn't going to come for him in the night with a blunt instrument, he hadn't been much reassured by his words. It had brought to light the whole _abandonment _thing that Tony didn't want to think about.

It was _easy _to push the unborn child out of his mind. _Yeah, sure, send it to the gods. Out of sight, out of mind, right?_

But now Tony was imagining some helpless child growing up, wondering who its parents were, wondering why it wasn't wanted, hoping every day, in vain, that somebody would come for it and lay claim to it.

"Ughr!" he exclaimed, trying to rid himself of these thoughts. He needed to get out of here.

He sneaked away to the garage of the mansion, managing to avoid any Avengers or SHIELD operatives, and got into the most nondescript car he owned.

When he was on the road, driving _anywhere, _he felt a little lighter.

Pepper was right- he needed to talk to Loki, but not so he could provide a shoulder to cry on, but just so that he could reassure _himself._

But where on Earth do you find a God of Mischief who doesn't want to be found?

XXX

Loki was standing in front of the mirror, wondering when the hell he had let himself go so much.

His hair was a _mess, _and his eyes were bloodshot, with big dark circles under them. His face was pasty and pale. He looked horrible.

He had a dressing gown pulled around him, and even in the privacy of his bathroom, he still felt slightly embarrassed for removing it, hanging it up on the back of the bathroom door, and ignoring his naked reflection in the large mirror.

He stepped into the full tub, smiling serenely to himself at the hot water that engulfed him as he lowered down amongst the bubbles. If only the Avengers could see him now.

Loki Laufeyson was taking a bubble bath. And he couldn't find a single fuck to give about it.

He slid down until water washed over his face, and he was submerged. Keeping his eyes tightly shut, he listened to the sound of water rushing about his ears, and the thumping of his heart. When his lungs began to protest, he pushed himself back to the surface and took a deep breath. Droplets of water clung to his eyelashes, and he blinked them away, running his hands through his hair.

He really needed a haircut. When wet, his black locks fell almost to the centre of his shoulder blades. Even Thor's hair wasn't this ridiculously long.

He reached for the block of soap and began rubbing it across his left arm, holding it in his right hand. He was meticulous around his fingers, soaping himself up, then reaching to his elbow, then further up his arm to the top of his shoulder, lathering it in. Then he repeated it on his right arm, liking the smooth sensation of the soap on his skin. It felt strange, to be touching himself so much.

As soon as the thought entered his mind, he blushed and fumbled with the soap, dropping it into the water. He grasped for it between his legs, and kept a firm grip of it, whilst mentally berating himself for being such a pansy.

"Honestly," he muttered softly to himself, "nobody is watching you."

Still, he eyed the bathroom door nervously, but it was locked. He was alone. Nobody would come in. He was being irrational. There was no need to be afraid...

Loki bit his lip as he cupped water in his hands and let it pour against his arms, removing the suds, and enjoying the feeling of rivulets trickling down his body.

He shivered as his own fingers brushed the inside of his elbow, and closed his eyes, as the vapour rose up around his head. He stroked past his elbow again, and noted a newfound erogenous zone that he didn't know he had. He twisted his left arm round, so the wrist was exposed, and began trailing his right hand up and down his forearm, delighting in the tickling feeling combined with the heat of the water. He lay back so that his ears were just above the surface, and started tracing his fingertips over his skin, up his arm to his bony clavicle and into the dip in his neck, then up his throat and around his jaw. He exhaled, relaxed and for once at peace, until his fingers danced over his lips, and he gasped, moaning slightly as his fingers gently outlined his mouth, the skin plump from the heat of the bath, and the nerves frazzling under his minuscule touch. He moved his hand down to the space behind his ear, stroking past his earlobe and around to the sides of his neck, the sensitivity wracking his heart rate up and making him tremble.

Was he really so starved of physical contact? What had Tony done to him to make him crave this so much?

His left hand came up and joined the right on the opposite side of his head, both stroking from his temporal bone, down his face, down his arched neck, across his collarbones, and feathered down his chest. Loki sighed and smiled, sliding down the bath so that he was submerged, wrapped his arms around himself, feeling each of his fingers splayed across his waist, digging in, and tried to recall the sensation of being held, whilst the water gently rocked above his face.

He opened his eyes and looked up. Whiteness greeted him, distorted by the water, and his eyes stung slightly, but he blinked away the discomfort until things began blurring, and he couldn't tell real images to those splodges of coloured light that his brain magicked up.

His lungs started aching, and Loki pushed himself up to the surface, gasping slightly.

He untangled his arms from around himself, frowning slightly at the pink finger marks on his waist- he hadn't realised he was hugging himself so tightly- and reached for the soap again.

By the time he had successfully cleansed himself, he water had turned tepid. Loki rinsed off his hair, tugging on it slightly, and then drained the bath, carefully stepping out of it, and reaching for his large white towel and wrapping it around his shoulders.

He grabbed his dressing gown and pushed open the bathroom door, peeking his head around it to investigate his bedroom outside.

_Stop it. Nobody is here. You can feel your own wards! You'd know if someone was here!_

Loki shook himself of the paranoia, and shuffled into his bedroom, taking a breath before dropping the towel and yanking on the dressing gown. Then he considered the moderately sized bed, with its plain blue covers and white, soft looking pillows, before promptly collapsing on it, bouncing once, and burying his face into the cold linen.

Loki groaned to himself, face first on the bed, folding his arms underneath his forehead and rubbing his damp toes along the covers, trying not to silently despair too loudly.

His hair was still wet, and was dripping down the side of his neck, the water cool and unpleasant, some of it curling into his ears and making them itch. His heart sounded riotous, and he could feel his pulse in his head thrumming, despite the fact that he was lying down. Loki fidgeted- his bath hadn't really helped to calm him down. Now, when his mind was unfocussed, he couldn't help but start panicking, miserably wondering when his life had become such a terrible failure.

He rolled over onto his back, not caring if his hair got the covers wet, and let his hands rest gently on his stomach.

He closed his eyes, and concentrated. There was a hum in the room, and Loki felt something shift nearby- something materialised from nothing.

He opened his eyes, and a hazy, somewhat translucent copy of Tony Stark blinked at him, standing by the wall. Everything was exactly the same as the original- from his impossible hair, to his old looking t-shirt and jeans.

Loki scrambled to get under the covers, before beckoning the illusion over. Not-Tony walked over, robotically, and also slipped under the blankets. The mattress did not dip, because the illusion had no weight. Loki pushed him down so that he was lying flat on the bed, noting how the illusion had texture, but no heat, before eyeing him. Not-Tony was blank faced, and his eyes were dead. He turned to look at Loki, and flashed a smile- a perfect facsimile of the real thing, but there was nothing in his expression. No emotion, no life. Loki sighed, before waving his hands so that the lights went off, wrapping his arms around the magical body, and closing his eyes to try and sleep.

The body didn't move, all night.

XXX

"Stark!"

"That's m'name!" Tony sang out, not stopping as he strolled down the corridor that led to the kitchen. He had a hankering for cucumber, and could swear to God that he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten cucumber.

"Stark! There's been an incident!" It was Coulson, running after Tony. "Fury wants you!"

"Oh yeah?" Tony found it a little hard to give a damn. As long as it wasn't globally endangering, let the others deal with it. Tony was still pissed off that Fury's idea of repayment for Loki having saved their lives was to try and hunt him down and kill him.

"The others are waiting for you!"

"Good, good," Tony pushed open the door to the kitchen, and did not hold it open for Coulson.

"Tony!"

"What?" Tony replied, innocently, knowing it would wind the other, usually good-natured man up.

"Can you please?" Coulson said deploringly. "It's a bank robbery. The police are doing their best, but they have hostages and explosives. Thor is in New Mexico, so we really need you now."

Tony rolled his eyes, opening the fridge and peering inside. "Aha!" he cried delightedly, as he spotted a cucumber. He pulled it out and brandished it at Coulson, who didn't even blink.

Coulson gave Tony a very weary look, which Tony couldn't help but fall for. Ever so slightly. Especially since that day when he had simply sauntered in to SHIELD HQ during a meeting, and everyone had had a near heart attack, Tony couldn't help but like Phil more and more. It turned out Coulson hadn't been as dead as Fury had told them, but his "death" had been used as in incentive. And the worst bit was that Coulson didn't even blame Loki for anything, didn't even hold Tony in contempt for sleeping with his "murderer"!

He sighed, and tossed the cucumber back into the fridge. "Do you really need me? Is it really that bad?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sure it isn't," Tony replied. "The police were able to handle bank robberies before without me."

"They have children in there," Coulson appealed. "And women. And enough explosives to take out the entire block."

Tony grit his teeth, and tried not to curse whichever deity it was that had thrown him into this life.

"Stark-"

"Fine!" Tony barked. "God!"

"Excellent," Coulson beamed. "I will debrief you on the way."

Tony grumbled and glowered the whole way.

By the time he was airborne and heading in the direction of the scene, the Quinjet close behind, he could hear sirens blaring and see flashing lights sectioning off the whole area. Pedestrians saw him in the sky and pointed, cheering in delight, but he just wanted to get this over with. Petty criminals were not his usual cup of tea, thank you very much. He preferred the intelligent, interesting type.

When they got to the bank, Tony landed by the swarm of police cars and saw the Inspector in charge.

"What's going on?" he asked, immediately, retracting his mask, and looking at the haggard man.

The officer was tired and frantic- his radio was out of control with the calls of all different police on the scene, and the sirens all around were deafening, and the bank already had several broken windows and bullet holes adorning the walls. It was one of those grand, white stone affairs, with about five floors and expensive windows and huge mahogany doors.

"We're thinking thirty hostages, and four men with an array of hand weapons. We think they're using some sort of plastic explosives, but we haven't sent anyone in yet. They're not responding to our negotiators, and we can't get a glimpse of their faces. We think the bank has a capacity of about ten million dollars, which shouldn't take too long for them to clear out," the officer told him, wiping his brow. "We just don't want to provoke them into blowing the place sky high."

"Ten million?" scoffed Tony. "Geez, I would have _given _them that if they'd asked. Well, we'll see what we can do. Just don't do anything stupid. I know it's hard for you guys."

He flew away before he could hear the officer's swearing.

Clint and Natasha were clambering out of the Quinjet, whilst tucking away guns, or in Clint's case arrows, preparing for some sort of combat, whilst Bruce followed behind, sadly fingering his blue shirt, and Steve bringing up the rear.

"Guys!" Tony flew over to them. "I suggest Clint and Natasha go in and see if they can take out the robbers, whilst Steve and I go deactivate the bombs, and Bruce stays out here to clear up any issues that arise. Whatdya think, Steve?"

Captain America nodded. "Clint, Natasha, take the south-side entrance, and try not to be seen. Tony and I will distract them and rescue the civilians. Bruce, if any of the men try and escape, you get 'em, alright?"

Bruce nodded, and Tony began surveying the building.

"Do you know how to deactivate bombs?" Clint asked Steve and Tony, dubiously.

"Clint, I probably _designed _them myself," Tony drawled, as Natasha unsheathed a knife and twirled it between her fingers dangerously.

"Alright!" Clint pulled a sceptical face. "Just don't accidentally set them off! They probably are remotely activated or-"

"I know what I'm doing, Barton," Tony rolled his eyes. "Right. Come on. Let's take these mothers out."

Natasha grasped Clint's hand and dragged him away at a quick dash round the side of the building to try and get in without being noticed. Tony almost felt sorry for the four men who were about to be on the receiving end of one Natasha Romanoff. Almost.

"Come on, Cap," Tony gave a confident salute to the officer who was still watching them from behind the police car.

Steve led the way to the side of the building, and accepted Tony's hand, so together they flew up the side of the building, leaving Bruce down below, and dodged a flagpole before landing on the edge of a window on the third floor.

"Shall we scout around in here?" Tony asked, peering into the window. It led into a richly decorated office with a large desk with neatly piled papers and a pen pot and a computer with four monitors.

"Yeah. We should give Barton and Natasha enough time to deal with them, and then we can step in," Steve hauled open the window with little effort exerted from his biceps, and he and Tony clambered in.

As quietly as possible, they hurried through the rooms of the bank- most were offices or function rooms, but all was still. The floor was made of marble, and their footsteps, no matter how hard they tried to quieten them, echoed around the rooms.

"Won't the main safe be in the basement?" Steve asked.

"Actually, most of the _personal _safes are kept in the basement. The main safe will be wherever the boardroom or the chairman's office is," Tony said, retracting his helmet. They reached a grand set of marble stairs with a plush red velvet rug cascading down, and peered over the brass banisters. "Important people like to make themselves seem more important by keeping themselves close to important things. I would know- I have to spend more than enough time with bureaucratic businessmen."

Steve snorted, and began trotting down the stairs, shield in hand. Tony followed.

They ambled through more stately looking rooms with large framed oil paintings of bald men in expensive suits, until Steve yanked Tony harshly away from a door leading to a main hall.

"There," Steve hissed. They both glanced around the door, and Tony saw, amongst rows of counters and mahogany desks for customers and staff to use, a large crowd of people on the floor, in lines, huddled together as close as possible, whilst two men- black balaclavas hiding their faces, one very thickset and bulky, the other tall and lithe (how stereotypical)- stalked among the hostages, yelling at them for crying or talking, and brandishing guns in their faces. The hostages were entangled with wires connected to explosives- certainly enough to take out the whole building. There were four rows of hostages, each with separate strings of bombs, lined up along the hall on the marble floor.

"This is so wrong," Steve murmured to Tony, and Tony had to nod in agreement. They were terrorising innocent people, and there _were _children, almost as young as eight. Tony caught sight of a little girl at the end of one of the rows, hanging on to her father- she looked utterly terrified, and Tony felt rage that greedy, pathetic men would endanger the lives of _children _without even hesitating. What sort of villainy did that require?

"Where are Clint and Natasha?" Tony muttered to Steve.

As soon as he spoke, there was an almighty crash, and the sound of gunshots from somewhere else in the building.

"Ah," Tony had his question answered.

"The other two robbers must be emptying the safe," Steve observed.

"Not if 'Tasha has anything to say about it," Tony smirked.

"Come on, we can take these two, right?" Steve suggested.

The other two men, utterly hidden by their black clothing, were freaking out over the gunshots.

"The police! The fucking police!" the tall one yelled.

The muscly one held in his hand a remote, which he waved in the air. It was complicated- lots of buttons and flashing lights adorned it, and Tony knew, he would have to get it off him somehow, and then try to deactivate the bombs.

"That ain't the police," the big one said. "They know we'll just blow 'em up."

"Come on, Tony," Steve hissed, and shifted his shield.

At that precise moment, Natasha and Clint came sprinting into the room, grinding to a halt as they realised what they had just run into. Clint had a cut on his forehead, which was dripping down his face, but Natasha looked fine.

"Well well!" cried Muscles. "The Avengers! How nice!"

"Where are-" the tall one cut himself off, as Natasha and Clint drew out weapons.

"Your friends?" Natasha inquired. "They're not dead. Just unconscious. The police will have them soon."

The two men were facing in the opposite way to Steve and Tony, who slowly crept out from behind the door, into the grand marble hall. Several hostages saw them, and had to stop themselves from crying out loud with joy.

"Well, this is an interesting change in plan," said the tall one to Muscles. "I suppose we better get going."

"Like hell you are," Tony cut in, and the two men whirled round, catching sight of more Avengers. They swore loudly.

"I don't know about you, _Iron Man," _Mr Tall retaliated with spite, "but if you don't get out the way, that's thirty one people blown sky high, and we're all dead."

Tony retracted his helmet again- people tended to get psyched out when they had to look at him in the face- and pretended to mull over the situation.

"Hmm," he faux-frowned. "That's a tough one. How about option C. You hand over the remote, you put your hands in their air, and I _don't _whoop your ass."

Mr Tall actually laughed. Loudly. Steve scowled, and took up a stance, as Clint drew an arrow and pointed it at Muscles.

"The question is, Iron Man," Mr Tall continued. Tony noticed he had a slight southern accent, and realised these men probably didn't come from around here. "How many innocent people are you willing to watch die, before you step aside."

At this point Muscles raised his gun- a Glock, from the looks of it- and aimed at a quivering middle aged blonde woman near his foot.

"No!" Steve yelled out, taking a step forward, as the woman shrieked.

Tony's body froze, as he expected a shot, but Muscles did not shoot. Instead, he just laughed. There was too much laughter for Tony's liking. It was pissing him off.

"So, _Avengers," _Mr Tall sneered. "I suggest you let us on our merry way."

"Uhuh," Tony said, unamused. "Okay, I suppose- if you choose Option Ass-Whooping, who am I to stop you?"

His helmet fell back into place, and he noticed with glee that he had advanced power- God love Jarvis. As one, the Avengers began moving.

Clint's arrow buried itself into Mr Tall's right shoulder, as Natasha propelled herself forward towards Muscles, in an attempt to grab the remote. Steve darted between Muscles and the hostages to shield them from the bullets Muscles started firing, as Tony fired missiles at his target- Mr Tall, the one he had the most objections again. Tony also launched his repulsors so that he could gain the advantage of height.

_This is too frickin' easy, _Tony thought with a grin.

Mr Tall fell to his knees with a cry, grasping at his shoulder, as Muscles went skidding across the floor from a kick to the stomach, courtesy of Natasha. The remote control flew out of his hand, and hit the opposite wall with a crack.

"Fuck!" cried Mr Tall, scrambling to his feet, still clutching his right arm. He spun on the spot, catching sight of Tony hovering near the ceiling, and raised his gun. "You fucking idiots!"

"Tony!" yelled Steve, and Tony looked down to see Steve crouched near the hostages, examining the explosives. A tiny, digital screen connected to the wires had flared up, and big red numbers were illuminated on the panel connected to each of the bombs.

A countdown.

The remote must have activated the countdown when it hit the wall. Tony flew over and picked it up. He knew he would be able to decipher the functions of all the different controls, but he couldn't guarantee accidentally not blowing them all up.

Muscles had gotten to his feet, and yanked off his balaclava. He was dark haired and had a large, pointed nose, framed by two big blue eyes. He looked terrified.

"Now you've done it!" he trembled. "We're gonna die!"

Muscles tried to make a break for it, ignoring his comrade's cry for help, but was intercepted by an arrow, lodging itself in his gut. Clint seemed pretty pleased with himself, as Muscles fell to the floor.

Tony landed next to Mr Tall, who was still holding his arm gingerly.

"How do you override the countdown?" he demanded, but Mr Tall simply shook his head.

Tony groaned out loud. "Tell me! There's no reward for this- there's no way you get freed. If you don't tell me, we _all _die."

Mr Tall just smiled.

"This isn't worth ten million dollars," Tony pleaded.

"Tony!" Steve yelled, more urgently. "We have two minutes."

Tony swore, and resisted the urge to hit the criminal in front of him.

Natasha was helping the civilians untangle themselves from the wire, but, so as not to jostle them, only one or two people could escape in about five seconds. "We're gonna run out of time!" Natasha cried out, as she yanked a young woman away from the explosives.

"My sister!" the young woman sobbed, grasping for the hands of another lady, who was still entangled. "Please!"

Tony took a shaky breath, and went over to Natasha. "Children first," he murmured to Natasha. "Get all the children, and run."

Natasha turned to him with wide eyes. "Tony, we're _not _going to have any casualties."

"We have under two minutes," Tony said, something heavy pulling on his heart. "I'm going to try and deactivate the bombs."

Natasha stared at him for a second, before nodding. She then beckoned over Clint, who had just finished dragging Mr Tall's protesting body over to his comrade in the corner. Clint went over, and began helping her pull away all the children from the explosives. There were about ten under-eighteens, and Tony felt such pain for the parents and adults, crying and clutching at each other.

Tony pulled off his helmet, and went to crouch by one of the bombs. A series of wires connected to the explosives, and he recalled the information he'd need to know to deactivate them.

He glanced over his shoulder, to see Steve ushering the crowd of children out of the building.

Everything slowed down, until all Tony could hear was his own breathing. The sound of sirens, sobbing and the soft ticking of the timer dissolved into nothing. His eyes focussed on the coloured wires in front of him.

_And to think this had started off as an _easy _mission, _Tony thought wryly.How quickly everything had gotten out of hand!

He followed the wires to the explosives, trying to ignore the shaking bodies beneath them, and took a deep breath.

"How much time do I have?" he called over his shoulder.

"A minute," replied a small voice in front of him. It was the woman from earlier, who had almost been shot.

"Wonderful," he replied, but shot her a hasty smile. "We'll be fine, you'll see."

She nodded, and did not move further.

Tony grasped the wire he _believed _he needed to tear, and closed his eyes, before crushing it between his two metal fingers.

There was a collective sigh of relief from the small group in front of him, and he opened his eyes to the beautiful sight of one set of deactivated explosives- the counter had died, and nothing was flashing any longer. Only three more to go.

Tony stood, and hurried to the next group of hostages, yelling, "Go! _Go!" _to the previous group. They all scrambled to their feet and sprinted from the room.

"They're all different," Natasha came over to him and crouched beside him, as Tony inspected the next set of wires. "You have forty seconds. The other civilians who can't be set free are intertwined in a way that means that if one of them goes, the wires rupture and set off the bomb."

"Fuck," Tony breathed. "Take Clint and get out."

"Tony-"

"Come on, Natasha, use your brain," he snapped at her. "As you said, no casualties, right?"

"Tony, I'm not going to let you-"

"Get Bruce in here."

Tony's eyes flew across the wires, estimating where they resulted, how they were connected, what he could do...

"Just go!" he gave her a slight shove.

"Are we gonna die?" asked the civilian in front of him, who was tightly strapped to the explosive. He was old, perhaps fifty or sixty.

"No, you're not," Tony said as confidently as he could, giving his best smile.

His breathing stuttered as he fumbled for the wire he thought was true. He cast his eyes skyward, and snapped it.

"Yes!" cried the man.

_Thank you, god._

"Go!" Tony pulled the man to his feet, and ushered the other hostages in that group, yanking away the wires. "Run! Get out!"

There were still about ten people, and two sets of bombs to deactivate.

Tony's eyes rolled to the timers on each bombs, and a chill spread over him. Fifteen seconds.

"I'm so sorry," he said to the group of expectant faces, a great pain in his chest making his voice wobble. "I'm sorry."

His teammates were all outside. He could hear the Hulk roaring in the street, but by the time Bruce got up here, it would be too late. There were no children in danger.

The remaining hostages seemed to crumple. They were mainly adults, a majority males. Tony cast a despondent look at the two criminals in the corner, nursing their wounds.

Suddenly, the people in front of him gasped. Tony felt a presence behind him.

"Get a move on, Tony!"

Tony twisted around, to see Loki, _Loki, _bustling forth, green magic swirling around his hands. He looked pale and gaunt, but alert, dressed as if he had left in a rush- black trousers and a black shirt. His hair was hastily thrown back, and his eyes were bright.

"What are you doing here?" Tony demanded, his stomach lurching. _No more casualties, please!_

Loki gave him a withered look, before raising his hands, and blasting the green smoke at the entrapped civilians. The wires stretched and lifted, giving space for the hostages to move, but not breaking.

"Get them out," Loki hissed. Tony leapt forth, and began roughly yanking the people off the ground and out of the wire trap.

Six, five, four...

Loki then blasted some sort of golden magic at them, and they disappeared.

"What was that?" Tony exclaimed in astonishment, before Loki turned to him, his eyes wide, and his hands slack by his sides, his expression helpless.

Two, one...

Tony took a step towards Loki, hand outstretched, before there was a high pitched trilling noise, and Tony got a glimpse of fire erupting behind Loki, throwing the god forwards towards Tony.

Then there was noise. Deafening, roaring noise. Tony was hurled backwards, everything around him on fire. His vision went white. He felt his suit shred as he was slammed into the wall of the hall, and fire engulfed him.

He was buffeted around, shrapnel from the exploded room raining down on him. He could feel rubble raining down on his face, the one part of his body unprotected, and his skin was burning.

_So this is death, _he thought hysterically.

When he stopped being pummelled around amongst the chaos, he slipped into unconsciousness, feeling blood filling various parts of his suit, and his head swimming with the sensation of being cracked open.

XXX

Loki really thought he should stop getting into these sorts of situations. Especially when he neither benefited from them, nor cared for the outcome.

But when he had hastily teleported to the bank where the Avengers were trying to rescue a handful of hostages, he did not expect the situation to be quite so dire.

He overheard Agent Romanoff desperately snivelling about the timed bomb, and how Tony was still inside, before Loki had teleported to the room Steve had been describing to the Hulk.

_As if _the Hulk could be any help! Ha!

As soon as Loki materialised behind Tony, he quickly observed the situation.

Ten hostages, two bombs, fifteen seconds.

Ah.

The strange expression Tony had thrown Loki had been a mixture of shock and anger. Loki ignored it in favour of releasing the hostages, and using a complex spell to teleport them back outside, where the police were, a good distance away from the bank which was about to explode. There was nothing he could do about that inevitability.

Loki had turned to stare at Stark- kind, genius Stark, who looked genuinely terrified for Loki.

Loki closed his eyes as the explosion engulfed him, and began muttering furiously. The protective charm blossomed, as Loki was hurled forward, but withered as Loki's stream of muttered spells were cut off abruptly.

The explosion was utterly deafening, and Loki felt his skin burn and rip where rubble and debris flew past him. He slammed into a wall, which then also gave way from the explosion, and everything fuzzed out from the pain and the impact.

Loki gasped, and then coughed, as he inhaled smoke, dust and rubble, keeping his eyes closed, but holding his arms around his head.

Ignoring the way the bank was still falling down upon him, Loki lay prone under bits of stone and concrete, and furiously began muttering again.

The charm flourished around him, and just like that, the detritus of the explosion stopped landing on him. The roar of flames ceased, and the heat dissipated.

Loki lifted his head, and blinked. Grit was in his eyes, and he was slightly winded. Drawing great breaths, he turned over onto his back, pleased to notice that nothing was broken. He looked around. His bubble of protection was like a thin film, encircling him, and it made the outside world look slightly distorted, like flickering images on a television. Loki was able to determine the fact that almost the entire second level had been blasted away. Fire was raging around him. He looked up, and saw parts of the third and fourth storey tumbling through a cavity in the ceiling. Straight ahead of him, through the smoke and debris, he saw that the far wall had been completely destroyed, and if the remnants of the wall would stop falling down, he would be able to see through to the street outside.

The flames were licking at his bubble, and he carefully hauled himself up.

"Stop it!" he told his abdomen sternly, as ripples of pain radiated from its centre. It was nothing too severe, simply adding to the pain from being thrown around like a doll, and the ache of where shrapnel had bruised and cut him.

Loki had to find Tony- Iron Man or not, the man had been caught in as much of the blast as Loki had been, and hadn't been wearing his helmet. The chances were, he was hidden under the debris that surrounded Loki in tall pyramids, most of which were on fire, and increasing in magnitude as the building continued to disintegrate.

Taking a deep breath, Loki popped the bubble, and braced himself for the swarm of heat that swept over him, making him break out in a sweat. The noise of fire flared up also, making a distorted symphony with the ringing in his ears that still resided.

Raising his hands, Loki cast another spell. Similar to a bat throwing out ultrasound, Loki got a sense of where life was most active. Of course this would be useless if Tony was...

"Help!"

Loki whipped around. In the corner, where they had been left, and completely submerged in bits of concrete and rock, were the two thieves who had caused this. One of them had his arm sticking out, desperately reaching for Loki, who was only ten metres from them. His face was poking out from a hole in the plaster, rock, and rubble that covered them. Otherwise, they were completely crushed.

"Help me!" he shrieked.

Loki did not bother ambling across piles of rubble, but rather materialised in front of the robber, and crouched down in front of him.

"Let me tell you something," he said darkly, disdain and scorn filling him. "If I find Tony Stark alive, only then will I return to rescue your insignificant soul. If I do not find Tony Stark, or if I find him dead, you will be left here to bleed out, or suffocate, or burn to death."

The terrified, bloodied face looked at Loki with wide, shimmering eyes.

"You make a disgrace to the criminal classes," Loki scoffed, throwing back his head and standing up straight.

He swung his gaze around the wreckage, casting the same spell, and his eyes landed on the wall adjacent to the gaping hole that displayed the street outside. He squinted through the furling smoke, and put a hand over his mouth to stop inhaling it further. His lungs were stinging, as were his eyes, but he concentrated his magic, and teleported over to the sea of rubble that he had sensed life in.

"Tony?" he yelled, but then regretted it, and coughed, grimacing at the acrid taste and burn of smoke.

Snapping his fingers, green smoke mingled with black, and the rocks and shards of concrete started shifting, rolling off each other in waves, scattering far away, until Loki caught sight of a single gold and red metal arm.

He snapped his fingers again, and the rocks flew up into the air, and soared away.

One hand over his nose and mouth, the other shielding his eyes, Loki watched as Tony was unburied. He was unconscious, and his suit was almost crushed. His face was bloody and cut, but not broken, and Loki kicked away the wreckage to scramble for him.

"Tony?" he shook the man's shoulder. "Wake up!"

Loki jumped in alarm as a whoosh of flames erupted behind him, and he heard a distant scream from outside the building. The building was being overcome by flames.

"Tony, the civilians are getting scared!" Loki yelled over the noise. Tony did not stir.

Loki lifted his hand over Tony's face, and muttered an incantation. Cold water started dripping from his fingers onto Tony's eyes, and finally, _finally, _the mortal started twitching.

"Wake up, Tony. We need to get out of here."

Tony groaned, and blinked. "Oh...f- oh god!"

"Are you alright?" Loki asked, trying to prop Tony up.

Tony's eyes landed on Loki, and then widened as he took in the surroundings. He then started coughing violently.

"Tony, I need you to get up so we can get out."

Tony took in another rasping breath, and then started coughing again.

"M-my...ribs!" Tony gasped.

Loki looked down at the battered armour, and realised that Tony had probably sustained quite a few more injuries than Loki, what with being such a fragile and pesky mortal.

"They're most likely broken, Tony," Loki told him. "Can you get up?"

Tony shook his head. "My leg...too."

Loki exhaled in frustration. "Alright. I'm going to get us out. I need you to hold on to me."

Tony nodded, and allowed Loki to grasp both his hands, before Loki engulfed them in magic, and teleported them away.

An instant later, they landed on the pavement outside, behind a fire truck. Loki lay Tony down, and searched for someone who could help. He saw, only a few metres away, a few police officers and Natasha Romanoff staring despondently up at the burning building.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Over here!"

Agent Romanoff looked around, and her face filled with shock and surprise at seeing the two of them _outside._

"Help me!" Loki shouted, getting annoyed at the lack of action these supposed _heroes _were showing. He glanced down at Tony, who had passed out again, and noticed that blood was leaking out of his mouth.

Agent Romanoff was beside them in a moment.

"What-?"

"No time," Loki shook his head. "You have a jet of some sort? He needs medical attention. Nothing too dire- just a few broken bones. But all the same..."

He trailed off, as Agent Romanoff pulled out a speaking device, and began talking into it.

"Steve, he's not in there. He's over on my side, behind the truck."

Captain America's voice bubbled out from the device.

"_What? How? He was in the building!"_

Agent Romanoff's eyes darted to Loki, before saying, "Loki is with him."

"_We're on our way."_

The device ceased to issue forth any more transmissions, and Agent Romanoff knelt down to begin prising off Tony's armour. It seemed a rather complicated construction, but Loki got the idea, and began helping.

"Tell me what happened," Agent Romanoff demanded. Normally Loki would not care for her tone, but decided he could not bear to argue with her.

"There are still civilians stuck in there," he reminded her, and she scoffed with some disgust.

"The firemen can find them," she dismissed.

"By the time they get in there, all they'll find will be corpses," Loki observed.

"I don't really care," she said flippantly, easing off Tony's main breastplate.

"How _gallant _of you," Loki sneered.

He was seized around the collar, and suddenly Natasha Romanoff was snarling in his face. "Those _men _strapped children to bombs. Excuse me for not rushing in there to save them."

He was released, but he was not fazed. He continued fiddling with the mechanical workings of Tony's suit.

"I teleported in," Loki told her, "and released the captives with magic. I presume you found them?"

"Yeah, they just materialised beyond the boundaries, unscathed. That was you?"

"But then the bombs detonated before we had a chance to stop them," Loki continued. "After the impact, I found Tony, and teleported us here. He was awake enough to tell me that his ribs and leg are broken."

"Wonderful," Agent Romanoff muttered.

Just then, there were cries of terror as fire bloomed out of all the remaining crevices of the destroyed bank, and there were several blasts from windows shattering, and more of the walls crumbling down. It seemed to jolt Tony awake, who gasped and then groaned.

"Tony?" Agent Romanoff shook him lightly.

There was the sound of running footsteps, and Loki looked up in time to see Captain America, flanked by Agent Barton and the Hulk (Loki eyed him warily) speedily making their way to them.

"Is he okay?" Steve Rogers demanded, coming down to kneel beside them all.

"I'm fine," Tony mumbled. "I need to stop getting into these sorts of situations, really, don't I?"

"I'll go get the jet," Agent Romanoff stood and jogged away.

Loki also stood, but was greeted by the pointy end of an arrow. He blinked and pursed his lips, leaning around it to raise an eyebrow at Clint Barton.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Agent Barton snapped.

"Saving your lives," Loki drawled. "Again."

The Hulk growled, and Loki reflexively took a step back.

"Clint, lower your weapon," Steve Rogers said authoritatively from where he knelt. "We can bring him back with us."

"Captain, I am obliged to tell you that the perpetrators of this crime are still incarcerated inside the building," Loki said, turning to the star-spangled blonde, "however, judging by the last explosion of flames, I doubt they are still alive."

Steve Rogers sighed, and rubbed his forehead.

"Stupid asses," Tony muttered from his prone state.

"I wanted no casualties," Captain America said quietly, mostly to himself.

Loki picked at his singed and dirtied shirt, and ran a hand through his hair. The foetus was most disgruntled, and all he wanted was a hot mug of blackcurrant, to curl up on his sofa, and read a book. Instead, he was cavorting with the Avengers.

"Where is that imbecile you spend time with?" he asked loudly, not looking at anyone in particular, but eyeing the burning building with interest.

"In New Mexico," Tony groaned from the floor. "Why?"

"His absence is a splendid surprise," Loki turned to give Tony a wide and wicked toothy grin. "Is it not pleasant to not have to endure his big blonde head?"

Tony rolled his eyes, and then closed them, as the good Captain looked ready to protest on his missing friend's behalf.

"Well, if it is no great concern of yours, I must be going," Loki said easily, and made to walk away when a firm, hot hand grabbed his arm. Loki twisted away with a snarl, to see the Captain looking a little abashed, but still resolute.

"No, you cannot just _leave_. You need to give us your account of the event, and then debrief!"

Loki laughed, and then stopped when it hurt. "Captain, I think you'll find that I d-"

"Do what you want, yes, we _know," _Tony grumbled, his eyes still closed. "Just fucking wait it out, and sign some fucking paper work. Who knows, Fury might give you a big kiss."

Loki made to gustily exhale in intolerance, but instead, he began to choke. The smoke he had inhaled was beginning to catch up with him.

Clint Barton steadied him with hand, which Loki shoved off. "Get off me!"

Barton frowned. "I'm gonna go get a paramedic. For you and Tony."

"I don't need any assistance!" Loki insisted, but could do nothing as Barton hurried away, and Steve remained hovering by his arm.

Loki sighed in frustration, and ran both hands through his hair again. He glanced up, and caught the Hulk's eye, who was still standing poised ready to attack. Loki shuffled a few feet away, and lowered his hands to his sides.

"How did you save the hostages?" Rogers asked him.

Loki eyed him contemptuously. "Don't you Midgardians have a saying? A magician never reveals his secrets?"

"So it _was _magic?" Rogers gave a soft smile. "Either way, I have a lot to owe you. Thank you."

A blue-gloved hand was proffered, and Loki stared at it, a little unsure as to what the good Captain was doing. Was this...a hand of respite? Loki chose to ignore it, lest he make a mistake and fall into a trap.

Rogers' perfect white-toothed smile faltered a little, and his hand dropped.

At that moment, Barton returned, with a paramedic carrying an oxygen tank and two masks.

"You were exposed in the fire, right?" he asked, and Loki could sense trepidation from the mortal at being in the company of such prestigious (or in his own case, _notorious_) celebrities.

"Stark and I were in the explosion, yes," Loki sniffed haughtily.

"Breathe into these, and sit down," the paramedic ordered him, holding up the oxygen masks. Loki raised an eyebrow, and was about to protest, when a large green hand fell none too gently on his shoulder, pushing him to the floor beside Tony. Loki let out a squeak, and tried to leap away from the Hulk, scuttling backwards on the floor, making Agent Barton and Steve Rogers chuckle. He hissed, and glared up at them all, snatching an oxygen mask off the paramedic, and grumpily inhaled.

His lungs hurt terribly, but the pure air was rather nice, and he calmed down a bit. His eyes wandered to Tony beside him, who was being assisted with his own. Loki knew being in fires for prolonged time was bad for mortals, but he knew he would be fine by the evening.

Something buzzed on the Captain, and Steve Rogers pulled out a device identical to Agent Romanoff's. Her voice was issuing from it.

"_I'm coming with the jet, guys. Be ready in a minute."_

Steve replied with an affirmative, and looked down at the two fallen _heroes._

"Who'd have thought, huh?" he said thoughtfully with a chuckle. "Loki and Iron Man, working together?"

Both men started making some sort of witty protestation, but their voices were covered by the masks, and Steve simply smiled, and walked away towards one of the police officers.

Loki glared at his own knees, and began furiously praying that Thor would stay in New Mexico long enough for him to get out of New York. He had lost tolerance for the Avengers, for this blasted city, for these ridiculous people, and most of all, _Tony goddamned Stark._

XXX

Tony tried not to smirk in amusement as Nick Fury burst into the infirmary.

"What the _fuck _is going on?" Fury yelled, a vein in his temple throbbing violently.

Steve stood up from where he was sitting by Tony's bed, and crossed his arms.

"Director Fury?" he questioned.

"A _simple _mission, I give you," Fury raged, "A _simple _bank robbery, which I _stupidly _thought a group of highly skilled specialists could handle, and what happens?"

Steve opened his mouth to answer, but Tony got the suspicion the question was rhetorical.

"A _fucking _bank blown to the sky, four dead robbers, an Iron Man beaten to a pulp, and Loki _fucking _Laufeyson having tea with my team!"

Fury was really getting to town. His face was going a sort of purplish colour, and his eyes...er, _eye..._ was blazing.

"Nick..." Tony tried, but was silenced by a growl.

"I don't know what the _fuck _is going on," he fumed, "but I swear to god, if somebody doesn't fix it now, things are gonna get _real _nasty."

"Isn't it a good thing?" Steve interjected, beseeched. Ever the good diplomatic guy. "Isn't it a good thing we're working with him? He saved the day."

"People don't use that phraseology anymore," Tony muttered, lifting a bruised hand to tap Steve's arm.

"What?" Steve turned to look at him, distracted from the mass of fury before them.

"People don't say '_saved the day' _anymore," Tony repeated. "It's corny. Get with the programme, Rogers."

Steve blinked. "Er, okay. Um, how about, this? Loki bailed us out."

"Ugh, god, Steve!"

"No? Okay, okay. Loki rescued us?"

"Steve, stop, you're embarrassing yourself."

"Gentlemen!" Fury raised his voice. "I expect full reports by tomorrow. _Including _you, Stark. I want to _erase _this whole day from the database. And my memory. Right now, I've got a Norse god upstairs who has _literally _just walked into our clutches."

Tony's stomach dropped, as Fury swept from the room.

"Steve, no, he can't. Steve, you've got to go stop him," Tony muttered, sitting up, and then wincing when his ribs ached.

"Fury won't _do _anything," Steve reassured, setting a firm hand on Tony's shoulder, pushing him down.

"How do you know? He _told _me that he's gonna get Loki as soon as he can," Tony fretted.

"Because Thor arrived whilst you were unconscious," Steve explained, and Tony somewhat relaxed. Fury wouldn't murder Loki in front of Thor's very eyes, would he?

"And because, at the moment, Loki is being a rather nice houseguest."

"Huh?" Tony said, stupidly.

"When I was up there, he was chatting with Clint and Bruce. Although, from what I gather, it was rather strained conversation."

Steve chuckled to himself, and Tony just slumped back in his bed. Tony wandered what Steve's mother must have been like, to raise such a wonderfully understanding and non-judgemental son. Steve wasn't even ribbing Tony about the whole Loki Situation he had going on.

"Today was meant to be _relaxing," _he complained.

The infirmary doors opened again, and Pepper walked in.

"Tony!" she cried, and hurried over to hug him. "God, why do you do this to yourself?"

"Hey Pep," he wheezed, as she squeezed him tightly. "S'up?"

"What's up? _What's up?" _Pepper trilled. "One minute I'm sobbing my eyes out as I watch the news and you get blown up, the next I'm upstairs, watching your knocked up boy toy explain Asgardian demographics to Bruce Banner, whilst sipping a hot lemon and honey!"

Tony had to snort at that. "I think I'm too high on pain meds to understand the severity of your words."

Pepper scowled, but then her expression softened. "How badly injured are you?"

"Two broken ribs, and a hairline fracture on my right leg. I'll be fine in four weeks time," Tony shrugged. "To be honest, I think I could do with the time off."

Pepper sighed sadly. "Do you want me to organise a flight back to Malibu?"

"You're such a doll, Pepper," Tony grinned.

Silence fell over the three of them, until Pepper spoke.

"So what is going on with Loki, then?"

"I don't know," Tony whined. "Why is everyone so obsessed with him? Let him go on his merry way! Before anybody kills him!"

"Fury won't let him go until everything has been sorted out. This is the _second _time he's saved your lives. I think this means something," Pepper observed, and Tony pursed his lips and faced the other way.

"Not to mention," Steve interjected, "that he's also preg-"

"Yes, yes, alright!" Tony barked. "No need to keep reminding me. What do you guys want me to do? Do you want me to persuade him to join the good guys? Because you know as well as I do, that would be futile."

The doors slid open for a third time.

"Oh, I'll return later."

They all looked up to see Loki standing in the doorway, unknowing that they had been talking about him moments before.

"No, no!" Pepper said hastily. "Steve and I were just leaving, weren't we Steve?"

"What? Yeah. Yeah, we were," Steve added, throwing Tony a guilty smile. "See you later, Tony."

Pepper grasped Steve's hand and yanked him out of the infirmary, closing the door behind them so that it was just Tony and Loki in the room together.

"So," Tony began.

"So," Loki repeated. He stood, fidgeting by the door, fiddling with his singed cuff.

Silence played loudly.

"Nice moves, today," Tony cleared his throat. "Very, er, impressive."

"Thank you."

More silence.

"Did you...have something to say?" Tony enquired, tilting his head to try and see Loki's downturned face.

"Yes," Loki said, and glanced up, before striding over to Tony. He placed his hands over Tony's right thigh, covered by the cotton sheets, and before Tony could make a noise, a hot heat, like Loki was pouring bath water over him, ran through his leg.

"What're you doing?" Tony demanded.

"Fixing your leg," Loki muttered, still concentrating on the spell.

"Why?" Tony asked.

"Surely that is obvious," Loki bit back scathingly. The heat was localised to Tony's leg, but he was more concerned about the way Loki's hands gripped his thigh tightly around the bunched up sheets.

Tony sighed, and lay back on the bed, letting Loki concentrate. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't _really _mind this prolonged contact, even if neither of them were touching skin...

After about two minutes, Loki released him. The heat did not leave.

"There," Loki said, rather unnecessarily. "Your ribs should do fine on their own."

"So," Tony repeated, when Loki did not elaborate any further.

"Not this again!" Loki complained.

"What are you doing down here?" Tony asked.

Loki shuffled on his feet a little. "Avoiding Thor," he admitted after a moment. "He has returned from New Mexico. And _somehow," _he gave a heated glare to Tony, "he knows about my plans with the Norns. If I have to listen to another second of _'It is your maternal duty, Loki!' _I will murder somebody."

Loki's voice increased in pitch as he imitated Thor cruelly, and he crossed his arms grumpily.

"Ah, yes, sorry about that," Tony said dismissively. "He was on the warpath, so I explained our situation."

"Our situation..." Loki said vaguely, staring past Tony's head.

"Well, your situation, really," Tony acquiesced. "How _is_ the whole...Loki situation?"

"Physically? Emotionally? Ecumenically? Financially?" Loki drawled sarcastically.

"Alright, princess, no need to get snippy," Tony rolled his eyes.

"I will be going soon, if your director allows it. Apparently I need to give in a _report?" _Loki sneered. "Don't you just _adore _these superficial people in their high up governmental jobs?"

"Yeah, just ignore Fury," Tony said, swallowing nervously. "In fact, the less time you spend with him, the better."

Loki eyed him curiously for a moment, but let the comment go.

"It seems," he spoke after a moment, "that Agent Barton has forgiven me for what I have done in the past. He seemed quite willing to speak with me when I was upstairs, or rather, listen to me speak."

"Oh yes?" Tony asked, smiling. "That's good, isn't it? Before, he wanted to gouge out your brain and feast upon it. With much gusto and a sprinkling of salt."

Loki blinked. "I think I have redeemed myself, in his eyes, by saving your life. Isn't that interesting? I also find it interesting how your colleagues leave you alone in this room with me. What if I were to attack you?"

Tony laughed. "They would probably say I deserve it. No offence, Loki, but you don't exactly look menacing at the moment."

Loki frowned, and conjured up a mirror from thin air. He held it in his hand and inspected his face.

"I do need a haircut," he mumbled to himself, scowling at his hair, which fell well past his shoulders.

Tony couldn't help but laugh. "Princess, I think it's more the terrible complexion and the burnt out clothing. You look like a hobo drug addict."

Loki evaporated the mirror and looked down at his holey black shirt and singed trousers. "Ah, yes."

In an instant, his clothes repaired themselves.

"I've told you before how cool that is, haven't I?" Tony grinned, as Loki straightened out his shirt, and magicked up a black leather jacket.

Tony's mouth went dry as Loki slipped it on and zipped it up halfway.

"What?" Loki asked, as he saw Tony's stare.

"Who taught you how to dress well?" he asked, trying to ignore the part of his brain that was screaming _hell yeah! _It was that part of his brain that had gotten him into this whole situation in the first place.

"Magazines," Loki shrugged, and Tony couldn't help it. He burst out laughing.

"None of Fury's, I hope!" he chortled, clutching his ribs, and trying to stop. Loki looked unamused, but the corner of his lips twitched upwards.

"I am trying to integrate myself into Midgardian customs, Stark, I thought it would be useful to at least pay attention to what mortals _wear."_

Loki crossed his arms, stretching that leather over biceps that were far too distracting.

"Look, Loki, I know you're not big on the whole hero thing," Tony began, and Loki scoffed and turned away, "but it was a good thing that you did out there. You saved many lives. Including mine. Why don't you stick at it? Why don't you leave your villainous ways behind?"

It was a desperate shot in the dark, one that Tony knew would not reach any target, but brownie points for trying, right?

Loki cast Tony a derisive look, but his eyes were twinkling.

"I will leave now," Loki announced, and made to go to the door. "Get better soon."

Tony was temporarily startled. "Uh, thank you, I guess."

The infirmary door opened and closed, and Loki left, leaving Tony with an unsatisfied feeling that he was getting far too familiar with.

Tony twitched his right leg. It felt wonderful. Tony ground his teeth together, and tutted.

"Stupid, perfect god."

**GAH! Finished! Finally!**

**I hope you enjoyed!**

**God, I am so unhappy with this chapter, but I cannot sit here and stare at it any longer. It's rather crappy, but it's speeding up the pace of the story. **

**I hope you've all noticed the recurring themes that I've slipped in? ;)**

**See if you can work them out.**

**THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**I am totally AMAZED by the amount of support and readership this silly little story has gotten. I love you all so much, and I am eternally grateful.**

**Ellie, as always, I hope you liked it!**

**Millie x**

**PS. If anyone wants to design a book cover for this story, I would offer you Tom Hiddleston on a platter. I just need to go kidnap him first...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay. I'm going to say right now- in ten hours, I'm off to Spain, so this chapter has not been edited. At all.**

**I thought that I would post this out so that you could have **_**something, **_**and then come back and edit it after my holiday. So it will be riddled with errors, and the writing style will not be as carefully selected as I usually do it.**

**I've been feeling rather rough recently, so this isn't up to its usual standard at all. Please forgive me. :)**

**Enjoy as much as you can.**

Chapter 4

No sooner had Loki stepped out of the infirmary and into the main lobby, he was accosted by Director Fury.

"You," the Director fastened one glaring eye upon Loki, and he felt himself bristle automatically. "My office. We need to talk."

Loki refrained from sighing dramatically and huffing after Fury, instead opting for a simple shrug and following the Director without arguing. If Fury was intending to lure him away to kill him, then Loki would have fun blowing this ridiculous mansion sky high in retaliation. He was still thrown from Tony's request to join the team, as backhanded a request it may have been, and he felt the restless urge to destroy something, to reassert his position as the opponent, as preposterous as that sounded.

Fury led him into the basement, and into a moderately sized office, with three computer monitors on a spacious desk with numerous but organised piles of documents cluttering it. The walls were floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, mostly holding folders and ring binders, but a few large official looking hardbacks. What Loki would do to have a peek at them...

"Sit," Fury pointed at one of the chairs by the desk, and Loki rolled his eyes.

"Please," he muttered snidely, but sat nonetheless, and regarded Fury with some amusement as the man took his own seat on the other side of the desk. Fury looked stressed. Stressed, and tired, and more importantly, ready to extract some sort of truth from the God of Lies.

"Mr Laufeyson-"

"_Please, _call me Loki," Loki smirked as the vein in Fury's temple began throbbing at a faster rate.

"I wasn't about to start talking to you about these things in front of Stark earlier," Fury continued. "As you can see, you have him very tightly bound. Congratulations on that. I'm sure you're _very _pleased with yourself."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Tightly bound? I wouldn't say that."

"Oh?" Fury gave a facsimile of a smile. It was unnerving. "Why not?"

"Tony and I have not been in communication, Director, if that is what you are insinuating," Loki sat forward in his seat, and levelled Fury's one-eyed stare.

"I'm not insinuating anything," Fury flipped his hand in the air. "I'm _telling _you, that you've successfully played your game. You have Stark. You have us vulnerable, and you have a weapon. Well done."

Loki blinked. Curious. "I assure you, it wasn't intentional. I'm not playing a game anymore, Director."

"You'll forgive me for not believing you."

Silence fell, and Loki stared blankly at Fury. Well, what was the point in saying anything at all, if the Director would not believe him?

"What I _am _curious about, however," Fury spoke eventually, "is how the events of today managed to come about."

Loki sighed and pursed his lips. "So am I."

Fury just glared at him. "What was your business in the bank robbery?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "I had no business with it!"

"So what were you doing there?"

"I heard it on the news."

Fury's throbbing temple looked fit to burst.

"I did!" Loki insisted. "I heard it on the news- they were reporting the incident and the hostages. They had updated the arrival of the Avengers. So I travelled to the scene. That is all."

"No it is not!" Fury said firmly. "If you are culpable for the events of today, I will have to arrest you now."

Loki rolled his eyes again. "Then it would be a fruitless waste of your time."

"Answer me this, then," Fury sneered. "Why did you arrive at the scene, moments after learning that the Avengers were involved in a bomb scare? Why did you save the civilians when my team could not? Why did you rescue Tony Stark from the remains of the building? And why are you pregnant with his child?"

Loki stood up. "If this is an interrogation, then I want a lawye-"

"Just sit down!" Fury barked, his harsh brown eye pinning Loki where he was.

Loki carefully lowered himself back into the chair, glaring at the Director.

"What I want to know," Fury said, in a quieter and more controlled voice, "is what exactly your game is. Are you trying to infiltrate SHIELD? Are you trying to convert Stark?"

Loki snorted. "Convert? You are so deluded-"

"Whilst you are under _my _roof," Fury raised his voice over Loki, "you will answer my questions. As far as I am concerned, you are plotting something, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit."

"Well, I don't like you either," Loki shot back. "This is unnecessary. I have no ulterior motive. I have no secret evil plans that I've been concocting in my lair. My pregnancy was a mistake, not a battle strategy. My involvement in today's bombing was happenstance, and Tony's ties to me are almost nonexistent. You have some strange conception of my treachery, and the connotations you are imposing, Director, are completely and utterly misconceived. Now, if you are done making insane conjectures, I will leave."

Loki stood and, before he could be demanded back, fled from the room. He hurried away, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling being in this house was doing to him, ignoring Fury's frustrated yells behind him, and almost ran out of the basement.

However, just as he was pushing open a large door to get into the lobby, he ran straight into Bruce Banner.

"Valhalla above!" Loki gasped, reeling backwards. "It's like a death trap in here!"

Banner held his hands up. "Sorry! Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you."

Loki eyed his nervously, and tried to shuffle around him. Before, when he had been forced to sit and wait for Thor, he had managed very stilted conversation with Banner and Barton. Banner was, as Loki had already surmised, a very quiet and introvert man, but seemed to possess a brilliant mind. Barton, however, had chatted away, and Loki had realised that his actions over the last few weeks had exonerated him from his previous crimes, at least in Barton's opinion. Truly, the archer didn't trust nor particularly _like _Loki, but there was no more vitriolic contempt or hatred in Barton's voice, which was curious.

"Look," Banner said quietly, and Loki thought of huge green hands flinging him about like a dolly. "I know Fury will be on your case quite a bit from now on."

Loki couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Yes, I imagine so. I ought to take a vacation."

Banner didn't even blink. "I've been talking to Steve. He's the most...diplomatic of the team, and we both agree that we are all somewhat indebted to you."

Loki shrugged, and forced himself to make eye contact with Banner. "I do not require recompense."

"Yes, but still," Banner put his hand on Loki's shoulder in what was probably intended to be a friendly gesture, but Loki instinctively stepped back with a flinch. "At least make use of our medical facilities."

"I'm fine," Loki said shortly.

"Then come have dinner with us."

"I'm not hungry."

"My, you're stubborn!" Banner sighed. "Look, I know we've fought a lot-"

Loki let out a little laugh, but it came out a bit squeaky.

"-but I think, y'know, under the circumstances, we can probably call a truce."

Loki stared at the man. Perfect, serene calm looked back at him, but Loki knew better.

"Doctor Banner," Loki said with a shrewd smile, "you are a very accomplished liar."

Banner pulled a confused face. "You think I'm lying?"

"No, but I can tell you have alternative intentions." Loki smirked. Ah, how he missed being around other intelligent, _deceitful _people. "You have an interest in studying my child."

An abashed and guilty expression flickered across Banner's face, but he hid it well.

"Not at al-"

"Ah, such lies!" Loki delighted. "Have no worries, Banner, I am not angry. Ha!"

Banner scratched the back of his neck. "Aah. Umm, okay. Alright, I'll admit it. I would prefer you to be living in this house so I can observe you. But Steve, I promise, wants you here for perfectly moral reasons- he wants to repay you. And Clint likes you enough. And Tony...well, _Tony."_

Loki smiled to himself. "What sort of technology do you own that could enlighten me about my pregnancy?"

Banner's face lit up like a child with a toy, and he indicated a door from the main lobby. "The labs are down there. We have sonograms and MRIs and an ECG-"

"In English, if you would," Loki interrupted, not having a clue what the man was gibbering on about.

"Ah," Banner gave a small smile. "Why don't I show you? We can get a good look at what your anatomy is doing, and how things work."

Banner all but skipped to the door that led to the labs, and held it open for Loki.

"Thank you for letting me do this," Banner practically sang. "It can get a bit boring here. The others don't really value nuclear physicist jokes, and my science isn't as necessary as Tony's. So this is going to be fun!"

Loki tried not to be offended, but rather amused at the quiet scientist's enthusiasm. The door led to a hallway with a series of other doors. It was plain, with a white carpet and white painted walls, and Loki hoped that the rest of the mansion wasn't like this. Right at the end, Banner pushed open the final door, which opened into a rather large and shiny laboratory. There were metal workbenches in rows, and around the edges, large machines that Loki didn't know the function of.

"I have done some reading of Midgardian science," Loki spoke.

"Oh yes?" Banner asked, leading them to the end of the lab, where there was a small bed with many other machines surrounding it.

"Chemistry and physics," Loki nodded. "Most of it is utterly wrong."

Banner's face fell, and then suddenly he erupted into laughter. "Oh! Oh, don't ever say that to a journalist! You could destroy thousands of people's lives by disproving scientific theory in one headline!"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "If you say so. I myself prefer magic, still, but I must admit many of your sciences do explain the non-magical phenomena of the universe. Of course, you do not know of the structure of the Realms, or anything of importance. All this talk of _dark matter."_

Banner gave Loki a smile that could only be described as _fond, _before he pushed him down to sit on the small, plastic covered bed, and pulled over a large machine on wheels.

"This is a sonogram," Banner explained. "It emits ultrasound, which echoes back, creating an image."

Loki eyed it. "Okay."

"It will let us see the foetus."

Loki's eyes widened. "This is very advanced. We have no such technology on Asgard."

Banner chuckled. "We're just getting started."

"When you say _'see' _the foetus, what does that mean?"

"It will produce a picture," Banner handed Loki a tube of some sort of gel he took from a cabinet net to the couch, and turned to set up the machine. "Lift up your shirt and rub this on to your abdomen."

Loki paused. This whole ordeal was a little...intimate for someone he didn't particularly trust. "You are not a medical doctor."

"No, but I am very, very clever," Banner replied frankly, fiddling with the machine. "And this isn't beyond me."

Loki stared at the back of Banner's head. "All right."

Loki pulled off his jacket, and pulled up his shirt, lifting it to expose his midriff. He was still singed in placed, and waved a hand over himself to magic away the blackened parts of skin from the soot. Banner caught him doing this.

"That is rather impressive," he admitted. "How far does your magic stretch?"

Loki looked at him blankly for a moment, unsure of how much he should reveal. "Depending on the energy and time I have, I can heal anything. Of course, things like reawakening people close to death would more or less drain me completely and cause me agony, and I have yet to find somebody I would sacrifice myself for, if such an instance were to arise. It is wrong to interfere with the natural order of things."

An awkward tension fell over them. Loki knew he had the sort of power to heal Bruce Banner from the Hulk, but, as Loki just said, it would cost him a lot of energy, cause him a lot of pain, and Loki neither cared for nor wished to help Banner. So for the time being, Banner would have to continue with his yoga classes, and keep sipping his herbal soothers.

Banner briskly changed the subject, and soon, Loki was lying flat on his back, with a monitor screen in front of him, being prodded with a sort of device that was using high frequency sound waves to take pictures of his innards.

The screen was mostly a jumble of grey fuzz, but soon enough, Banner seemed to find what he wanted.

"You have a very...er..._strange _anatomy," Banner observed.

"That is one way of putting it," Loki sighed. "Perhaps I should have morphed into a female?"

Banner's eyes widened. "W-what?"

Loki grinned at his perplexed face. "What can you see?"

Banner fiddled around with the machine a bit more, and suddenly an image appeared on the screen, in focus.

Loki's eyes widened. "Oh, Allfather-"

"Ah." Banner grimaced. "Um, surprise?"

A jolt travelled up Loki's spine, and his breath was temporarily robbed from him. "W-well, at least they have a human form, r-right?"

"Eh, yes, that must be a nice perk," Banner stuttered with a small smile.

Twins.

Tiny, speck-like twins. There were two of them.

Two.

Twins.

_Twins._

Suddenly, something beeped from within Banner's pocket, and he pulled out a phone. He pressed a button, and answered it. "Hello?"

Loki heard Steve's tinny voice from the other side. _"Bruce, where are you?"_

"I'm, erm, in the labs. With Loki," Banner glanced at Loki, who was still staring at the screen, showing his two dot babies.

"_Loki? What are you doing to him?"_

"No need to sound alarmed," Bruce said calmly. "We're just running some tests."

There was a silence, before Steve said, "_And he let you do these tests?"_

Bruce rolled his eyes. "No, Steve, I have him strapped to a table and sedated. I wouldn't come in here for a while- it's going to take an age to clean up the blood."

Loki stifled a smile, as he heard Steve yell "_What?" _down the phone.

"I'm joking!" Banner replied. "Do you need me for anything?"

The volume of Steve's voice decreased so that Loki could not hear it, but Banner hung up shortly after that anyway.

"I'm needed upstairs," Bruce told him, handing him a couple of tissues. "Here, I'll print this out for you. You can come up too. I imagine they'll want to talk about today."

_Today. _It felt like an eon ago that Loki was sitting in his flat, watching the news. Now, in the late evening, he was sitting in the labs at the Avengers mansion. What had his life become?

Banner went over to a computer, and began clicking away. The image that had been on the monitor appeared on the computer, and after a moment, the printer next to it whirred to life.

Loki cleaned himself up, and pulled his tshirt down again. "I don't think I'm really wanted upst-"

"Nonsense," Banner waved his hand over his shoulder. "I insist."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Right. That will make the _world _of difference."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Loki."

Loki smiled at Banner behind his back. Maybe the hormones were making him soft. Maybe Bruce Banner was a nice person. Possibly.

After a moment, Loki spoke again. "What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another physicist?"

Banner turned in his chair to give Loki an incredulous look. "What?" he asked, slowly.

"Let me atom," Loki replied, dead-pan.

Banner bit back a smile. "That is awful. That is truly awful. Out of all the awful things you have done, that joke trumps them all."

Loki just smiled.

XX

He wasn't really paying attention to where Bruce was leading him. He was simply following along, the small black and white photograph clutched in his hands.

It was quite amazing- the women back on Asgard only got to lay their eyes upon their children after the birth, and even then, mortality rates were not ideal. Here Loki was, barely six weeks into his pregnancy, looking at his babies.

_Babies._

It seemed far too fantastical for Loki to even comprehend.

He kept staring at the picture. The blips were not recognisable as human-shaped bodies yet, but rather looked like a couple of lumpy beans. Loki didn't care. He held the picture tighter.

"Have you eaten recently?" Bruce asked him, leading him up the stairs and towards where Loki knew the kitchen was.

"I'm not hungry," Loki muttered, still holding the paper to his nose.

Bruce sighed, and gave a noncommittal, "Fine..."

In the kitchen, Steve, Clint and Natasha were sitting at the table, whilst Thor was busying himself in the fridge.

"Where's Tony?" Natasha asked at once, looking at Loki with distrust and trepidation.

Bruce placed a hand on Loki's shoulder, and guided him to a chair. Loki sat willingly, wondering if Bruce would let him take more ultrasound pictures.

"He's still in the infirmary," Bruce said, giving Natasha a meaningful glare.

Thor shut the fridge, and turned to look at Loki balefully.

A sort of uncomfortable silence fell over them.

"Should we really be talking in front of _him?" _Natasha asked.

Loki rolled his eyes, but did not reply.

Steve cleared his throat. "Look, I know things are a little strange, but I'm sure we can learn to cope, right Natasha?"

Natasha just glared at everybody.

Thor came over and sat next to Loki. "Brother."

"What?" Loki snapped, looking up from his picture to glower at his brother.

Thor smiled. "Ah, so you _do _still respond to that name."

Loki opened his mouth to protest, going a light shade of pink, but not finding a response to give.

"I will prepare food!" Thor announced. "You must be hungry."

"I am not!" Loki objected immediately. "You people keep trying to feed me!"

"It is important for you and your child to be healthy," Thor insisted, standing up again, and going to the cupboards. "And Doctor Banner has been teaching me to cook. It is most therapeutic."

"Heaven above," Natasha mumbled to herself. "I'm surrounded by idiots and freaks."

Clint nudged her. "Lighten up, 'Tasha. So far, he hasn't tried to kill anyone."

Loki frowned, and put his picture in the pocket of his jacket, and played with his fingers absently.

Bruce took Thor's vacated seat, and prodded him. "Do you want to tell them?"

"Not particularly," Loki muttered, irritated by all these eyes on him.

"Tell us what?" Steve interjected.

Loki looked at him blankly, and Steve realised he wasn't going to get an answer any time soon.

"So," he tried a different tactic. "Where have you been staying?"

Loki blinked. "In a flat near Central Park."

"Illegally?" Natasha shot at him.

"No!" he replied, offended that she _consistently _thought the worst of him. "I rent off an old woman. Not that it is any of your business!"

"Can I ask a question?" Clint spoke up. Loki turned to him. "What exactly were you doing at the bank?"

Loki hesitated. They all seemed to be looking at him for an explanation. "I-I – Well, that is to say..."

"Because you came at _just_ the right moment," Clint continued in a blasé fashion. "And then you kinda saved the day. Which was rather embarrassing for us."

"I assure you," Loki sneered, finding his tongue, "I did none of this for _your _benefit. Don't flatter yourselves."

Clint wasn't appeased. "Whatever, dude. I don't think Tony's ever been rescued like the damsel in distress before. It gave quite a blow to his ego."

"The _damsel _in _distress?" _Natasha swivelled to face Clint with an audacious look on her face. "I'll have you know, not all damsels require the bumbling assistance of potato-faced morons, thank you very much."

Clint hastily backpedalled. "Um, yeah, of course not! That's not what I meant, Nat, you know that!"

Steve smiled, as Thor guffawed, and Loki was totally overcome by how this was like some sort of twisted version of a family. Even Bruce was sitting with an amused smile on his face.

"I could hand you your ass on a plate, mister, and then we'd _see_ who the _damsel _in _distress _is!" Natasha stood up , raising her arms in a challenge to Clint.

Loki caught Thor's eye, and Loki couldn't help it- they both started giggling.

"What's so funny, Goldilocks?" Natasha turned on Thor.

"My brother and I liken you to the fearsome Lady Sif," Loki spoke up, "who on many an occasion has managed to make Thor cry."

"She has not!" Thor boomed, indignantly. "You mistake the dust in my eyes as tears!"

"Hmm," Loki smiled. "The dust of defeat, perhaps. Do not deny, Thor, that Lady Sif, as Natasha so eloquently put it, 'handed you your ass on a plate'."

They all laughed at Thor's expense, and Loki felt a pang in his chest as he realised he was_ chatting _with the Avengers. He choked it down, not sure if he liked it or not.

Thor harrumphed and turned back to the cooker.

"What in all the Realms is that?" Loki asked, leaning over to peer around Thor. His brother had a large silver pot filled with hot water, and was poking several dozen thin yellow sticks into it.

"It's spaghetti," Steve replied, raising an eyebrow. "Please tell me you knew that?"

Loki frowned. "I have never heard of such a food."

"They have a much wider variety of food than us, Loki," Thor nodded knowledgably, cranking up the heat. "You must have encountered it by now."

"Not all of it," Loki looked inquisitively at it. "Is this a derivative of pasta? I have never seen pasta, but I've heard of it."

He looked at the table, to see everybody staring at him in disbelief.

"What?" he asked, slightly affronted.

"Steve," Clint said, not looking away from Loki in incredulity, "I suggest we take our Asgardian friend to sample New York's finest cuisine. What say you?"

Steve just laughed. "Something tells me Loki won't like corn dogs, Clint."

Loki blanched. "Dogs? Please tell me you mean something that I do not fully understand?"

Thor turned to grin at Loki. "They do not eat dogs, brother. Although, other humans on this planet do, from what I have heard."

"I'll pass on the dogs, thank you," Loki said primly.

At that moment, the kitchen door opened and Pepper came in. She saw them all sitting at the table, and paused. "Oh. Hello."

Loki managed to nod in her direction, purely because she gave him the single most startling smile he'd ever encountered, and it threw him. She came over, and sat down on his other side.

"Is Thor...cooking?" she asked, looking worriedly at Thor's great bulk by the cooker.

"Yep," Clint sniggered. "Expect a full-scale catastrophe by the end of the night. The mansion should at least be burnt to the ground."

"I'm glad you have such faith in me, Barton," Thor chuckled.

"No, the biggest problem will be getting him to clean up after himself," Loki muttered.

He realised his words had gotten everyone's attention, and they were all looking at him.

"Well," Loki spoke, bringing a hand up to fiddle with the ends of his hair, "when we were children, Thor would never keep his chambers tidy. He used to rope me into doing it for him with magic, to avoid the Allfather's anger at his lack of respect for his possessions."

"I discount that!" Thor spoke up, holding aloft a wooden spoon and waving it in Loki's face. "It was only one occasion!"

"One!" Loki scoffed. "I can recall at least five!"

Thor grumbled a bit more, violently draining the spaghetti in a colander.

"The last time, brother, it was a favour to me, after I covered your absence at the training field. Father never knew you were actually in the library," Thor pointed out, and Loki closed his mouth.

"This is cute," Pepper smiled. "You don't by any chance have any baby photos?"

"W-what?" Loki spluttered, utterly disarmed, and Bruce leant forward.

"Erm, she means, you know, childhood pictures. Do you keep albums in Asgard?"

"Oh," Loki sighed, giving Bruce a grateful look. "Oh. No, we do not. It seems a little redundant, when we live for thousands of years."

"That's a shame," Pepper said amiably. "I bet you two were cute."

Neither Loki, nor Thor particularly cared for the description, but didn't say anything to object- it was Pepper. You don't argue with Pepper.

"Then, unfortunately, they both turned into idiots," Natasha grumbled from her seat across the table.

"Don't mind her," Clint slapped Natasha heartily on the back, and earned himself a poisonous glare. "She's just hormonal."

It took Natasha barely a flick of the wrist to have Clint face down on the table, arms locked behind him, begging for mercy.

"Right!" Steve stood, whilst watching the two fight with a hidden smile. "Dinner! Thor, you ready to plate up? I don't know about you, but I'm starved."

Thor brandished his huge pot of spaghetti, and Steve went about getting plates out. Bruce stood to get several glasses and a large pitcher of water. Loki got up to assist him, not liking being so close to Natasha, who was still trying her best to dislocate Clint's shoulders on the table.

"No, no," Pepper grabbed Loki's arm. "Sit down. I'll do it."

"I'm not going to drop dead," Loki sighed. "And anyway, you mortals take far too long to do tedious jobs manually."

He flicked his hand, and the glasses jumped out of Bruce's arms, and soared to the table, rearranging themselves in the designated space, accompanied by the pitcher of water.

"That is...rather impressive," Pepper smiled. "I want to keep you. The guys can barely serve dinner without causing an almighty fuss. Any chance you can clean, too?"

Loki was taken aback by the blatant compliment, and had to quickly think up a riposte. "I prefer making a mess. It's more fun."

He winked, and she gave him her friendly smile. "You're much nicer when you're not being evil."

"My brother is not evil, Miss Potts!" Thor boomed over the ruckus in the kitchen with a grin. Steve and Bruce were trying to dish out spaghetti onto seven plates, and it wasn't without some agro. "He is largely misunderstood!"

He laughed loudly, and Loki just glared, but it went unnoticed.

"Here, help these guys out before spaghetti ends up everywhere," she pushed him towards Steve and Bruce, and took her seat next to a rather bruised looking Clint, who was short of breath, and a very smug looking Natasha. It seemed he had taken back his words.

Loki offered his help to the two men, and they let him click his fingers so that the spaghetti sorted itself on the plates, and then each plate went to a space on the table.

"Why didn't Nick ever recruit a sorcerer to the Avengers before?" Steve asked, happily taking a seat next to Loki and Bruce.

Loki had to hide his pleased smile behind a forkful of spaghetti.

"Good?" Pepper asked him. "Bad? Should Thor be banned from the kitchen?"

Loki chewed. "Hmm. Interesting. I could get used to these sorts of food."

Thor was practically glowing with happiness. His grin was too big for his face. "I like this. Loki, we must aim to do this more often, now that you are forgiven."

Natasha, who was stabbing her spaghetti, snorted loudly. "_Forgiven_. That was quick!"

Loki scowled. "I don't think these home visits will be repeated often, Thor. Before long, I will return to Asgard anyway."

"Ah yes!" Thor's infectious happiness could not be quarried. "To give birth!"

"Not really dinnertime conversation, buddy," Steve said pleasantly. "I don't want to think about giving birth whilst eating."

"Sorry, my friend," Thor chuckled. "Doctor Banner mentioned you agreed to a few tests? What have you learnt?"

Loki put his fork down. "Why are we talking about me? I don't want to talk about me."

Bruce caught his eye across the table, and Loki tried to indicate his wish to remain silent. Bruce nodded minutely, and Loki was relieved.

"What could we talk about?" Pepper asked.

"Where is Tony?" Clint piped up. "Can't he hobble up here?"

"I popped down to see him just now," Pepper said. "He was out cold. I suppose the injuries tired him out."

"No," Loki interrupted, nibbling at a wayward strand of spaghetti. "The side effects of the spell I used causes drowsiness. It helps with the healing process."

He didn't realise the room had gone quiet until he'd shovelled another forkful into his mouth. He looked up, and stilled.

"What?" he asked.

"What spell?" Natasha practically growled.

Loki froze. "When I went to speak briefly with Tony, I thought it pertinent to heal his broken leg, to minimise his recovery time."

"You did that for him, brother?" Thor asked, with a quiet amazement.

"Yes I did," Loki said defiantly. "I see no real significance to-"

"Did it not weary you?" Thor pressed, in an almost accusatory way.

"I-" Loki hesitated. Bruce was looking at him curiously. "Marginally, yes. But I suffered no weakness from it. It was barely a hairline fracture."

Steve had an expression on his face that could only be described as smug, and Bruce's eyebrows were near his hairline.

"So hang on," Clint waved his fork in Loki's direction. "First you save the guy from the Doombots. Then you save the guy from a bomb. Then you touch him up with your 'magical fingers'. What next? Gonna make him immortal?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Loki said prissily, lifting his nose up.

Pepper was giving him a sly smile. "I think we can see the common denominator here. Is this why you keep turning up? To save Tony?"

"I suppose," Clint announced with some glee, "that we are forgetting the two of them got it on quite recently. They're probably canoodling behind our backs."

"Dinnertime conversation!" Steve cried out. "Please!"

"Aw, Steve, your sensitive ears will heal," Clint mocked. "So tell us, Loki-motive. Tony said you were both drunk. Is that true, or was he making it up so that he didn't look bad in front of us?"

Loki was having none of this. "I don't see how any of it is your business. As I told Director Fury, if this is an interrogation, I demand a representative and a contract before I disclose anything."

Bruce laughed out loud. "Just ignore him, Loki. He's a gossipmonger."

"And we really, _really _don't want to hear about your escapades with Tony," Natasha wrinkled up her nose. "What I don't understand is why Nick is letting you loose in the first place."

"I saved your lives," Loki pointed out.

"Only recently you were claiming you want no reward for that," Natasha retorted. "You can't have it both ways."

"I lied," Loki said smoothly, just to annoy her.

Natasha pulled an angry face, and in a blink of an eye, a strand of spaghetti was being hurled through the air, to land directly across Loki's face, cutting it diagonally.

"Oooh!" Clint grinned. "Go on, Loki. Get her back."

Loki peeled the strand of spaghetti off his face, raising his eyebrows, and sucking his teeth. He held aloft his hands, and chanted a few simple words.

"Oh no. Lady Natasha, I suggest you duck. That is his mischief face-"

Thor's warning was not helpful, as in that instance, a large cream pie materialised in Loki's hand, which he flung at Natasha.

She managed to dodge it, with her excellent reflexes, but the explosion of cream meant that some of it got in her hair and face.

"Ah, shucks," Steve muttered, standing up and getting ready to calm things down. "Guys-"

He could say no more, as Natasha had scooped up some cream, and lobbed it at his face. Steve was less successful at ducking, and Loki couldn't help but join in on the raucous laughter at his cream covered face.

It didn't take long for things to descend into war.

Pepper, Loki and Thor took coverage behind the kitchen island, where they had access to the fridge and the sink. Bruce, Steve, Natasha and Clint had control of the other side of the kitchen, where the door was, and they'd upturned the table to use it as a barrier.

"Desist, mortals!" Thor roared, as Natasha hurled a barrage of forgotten spaghetti at his head, when he foolishly poked his head up from above the counter. "You can never defeat the sons of Odin, and the invincible Lady Pepper!"

Clint chose that moment to throw a glass of water at his head, drenching him. Loki was too busy clutching his sides in laughter to even correct Thor's slip about the "sons of Odin". He shrugged off his jacket for optimum food-throwing manoeuvrability, and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"How many pies can you make?" Pepper whispered to him, as Thor gallantly defended their 'fort'.

Loki thought it over, and started chanting.

"I can _hear _you, La Vida Loki!" Clint cried out, ducking behind Steve as Thor retaliated with more pasta. "No enchantments!"

Loki just grinned, as a pie appeared in his hands. "Here," he gave it to Pepper.

Pepper grasped it, and jumped up from behind the kitchen island, to lob it at the opposition with surprising vigour.

Loki peered up too in time to see Steve getting yet more cream in his blonde hair.

However, he wasn't paying attention to Bruce, who was at the adjacent side of the table, who was expertly pinging spaghetti at the three of them. Loki took some to his hair, and immediately formed another pie to throw at Bruce.

"Hey!" Bruce yelled, as he was forced to duck behind the table, backtracking. "I am a highly qualified scientist! I do not partake in food fights! I am above this, you children!"

Loki snorted with laughter, having never been able to imagine Bruce in such a mood as this, but was rewarded with a face full of cream, courtesy of Natasha, who was using the remnants of the pies that had been thrown _at _them to use as ammunition. Loki hastily shoved newly materialised pies in Pepper's arms.

"What the hell-"

Everybody looked up in time to see Tony open the door, leaning on a crutch, bewilderment in his sleepy eyes, before Pepper accidentally sent a pie flying. It landed on Tony's shoulder with a splat.

"Oops," she muttered, as Loki and Thor pulled guilty faced. "Sorry, Tony."

Tony seemed somewhat speechless. "What? What? W-what? What the hell is going on?"

The Avengers, Pepper and Loki all stopped, to blink up at Tony.

"Food fight," Clint explained simply.

"What?" Tony repeated weakly. "Am I on drugs? Am I hallucinating?"

"No. If you were, Loki would have tits."

Just for that comment, Natasha pushed Clint's face into a pile of cream.

"Huh?" Tony still wasn't quite with it. "No, no, I must have jumped into a parallel universe. It seems the only plausible explanation."

Tony's eyes roved over them all, landing lastly on Loki, who had spaghetti and cream in his hair. Loki patted it down nervously. Steve passed Tony a tea towel, and he wiped himself free of cream in a daze.

"I..." Tony wavered for a moment. "I need to go. I need to just...just go. Maybe when I get back, I will realise this is all some weird twisted dream."

He turned, and closed the door behind him.

The seven of them all glance at each other, before giggling quietly.

"I suggest we settle all disputes like this, from now on," Steve announced, wiping cream from his face. "What say you, Loki?"

"I have an army," Loki winked, indicating with his thumb to Pepper, who was flicking spaghetti out of her strawberry hair, and Thor, who was licking his cream covered fingers. "Although, now I come to think of it..."

They stood up, and began clearing up, although Loki did most of it with magic. He realised that their playful chaos had made him more comfortable around them than he ever thought possible. What a strange way to bond...

"What's this?"

Loki looked around to see Natasha picking something up that had fallen out of his jacket, which was still on the floor.

His heart dropped as she inspected the photograph Bruce had given him.

"Nothing!" he insisted, striding over to her to snatch the photograph out of her fingers. He picked up his jacket, and dusted it down, stuffing the picture back in the pocket, but the damage had already been done.

Natasha was giving Loki a very strange look. It was a mixture of interest and mistrust.

"Was that..." she trailed off.

Bruce appeared at Loki's shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

Loki nodded. "Yes. I'm going now."

He turned to leave, but a strong grip stopped him.

"Twins?" she asked, very quietly. Nobody else noticed them, except Bruce, who looked worriedly at Loki.

Loki swallowed, and yanked himself free. "Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Clint and Steve were heading out of the kitchen to the living area, but Loki truly felt he had been here too long.

"Brother, please stay!" Thro pleaded, as Loki pulled on his jacket.

"No," Loki said shortly, and then immediately felt bad at Thor's face. "Thor, you need to realise that there are still many things we need to sort out. I am a wanted criminal."

"That matters not!" Thor said decisively. "I know the others are willing to overlook the past, especially after the care you have shown for Tony."

Loki grimaced. "I don't _care _about-"

"Loki, you healed him," Thor said shortly. "You allowed yourself pain for him."

Loki huffed. "It wasn't _that _much pain."

"And now, even you cannot deny it, you get along so well with the others. Lady Natasha, perhaps not as much, but Clint Barton and Doctor Banner like you very much. And Steve is eager to make your peace."

"And you?" Loki shot back. "Do you want me here?"

Thor looked honestly shocked at the question. "Of course!"

Loki sighed. "Thor, I promise to return. If Nick Fury clears my name, then maybe we can form a...a-"

"Friendship?"

"_Working agreement," _Loki emphasised. "Until then, I really think you would be better off without me nearby."

Thor frowned. "Fine. But I insist you stay until tomorrow morning. It is late."

Loki began to protest, but Thor grabbed his arm and bodily dragged him into the living room. Tony was splayed on the sofa, trying to change the channel on the TV, whilst Steve and Clint bickered loudly over the remote. Loki saw Natasha in the corner with Bruce, and she was talking very quickly and very quietly, her eyes jumping around the room. It made him nervous.

Tony looked up as Thor and Loki entered, and then looked down again when he caught Loki's eye.

"Tony, may Loki stay in the house tonight? I thought it best to ask you, as it is your home," Thor said loudly, pushing Loki into one of the big squidgy armchairs, and flopping down next to Clint.

"Er, yeah, of course," Tony muttered.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind letting Loki kip in his bed," Clint muttered, lunging for Steve, who had managed to grab the remote.

"Clint!" Steve admonished, relinquishing his control of the remote. "That is rude!"

Loki could feel himself burning up slightly, and slouched further into the seat, trying to hide.

"Shut it, Clint, or I'll programme your arrows to leave a trail of pink glitter," Tony growled.

Clint just laughed. "I dunno why you're all being so prudish about it! Hey, Localiser, you don't mind, do you?"

Clint craned his neck around to look at Loki, an innocent smile on his face.

"Prudish, or simply decorum?" Loki asked. "I wasn't aware it was a social convention to widely discuss one's sexual proclivities. If so, we'll be here for a week if Stark participates in the conversation."

"Oooh! Burn!" Clint looked round with glee at Tony, who was shaking his head despondently at Loki, but his eyes were shining.

"Are we forgetting the millennia-old womaniser over there?" Tony asked, jerking his head at Thor, who looked alarmed at the change in attention.

Loki let out a laugh. "Okay, make that a month! Mostly because Thor has difficulty recalling memories. Or recalling anything for that matter. Or simply using his brain."

He grinned at Thor, who just threw a pillow at him, which he caught.

Natasha seemed to have finished her quiet conversation with Bruce, and came over to say goodnight.

"I am tired and irritable. You people are stupid. Good night," she said shortly.

"Night, Nat!" Clint called.

She left, but not without giving Loki a very meaningful look, which he failed to interpret entirely. What did she want? He had tried to leave, but his oaf of a brother had refused it!

"She's just a little upset about today," Clint brushed off her brusque with a wave of his hand. "She'll like you in the end, Loki Dokie."

"What is with the nicknames?" Loki asked, half exasperated.

"I don't know," Clint shrugged. "You have a fun name. Pokey Loki. The Loki-man. The Lokster."

"Stop it. Please," Loki begged.

"It's his way of saying 'You're cool'," Bruce came over, and sat on the last spare armchair. "Be happy."

"Oh," Loki mumbled, rubbing his nose. "Thank you, I guess."

"Hey, whatever dude," Clint shrugged. "As soon as you start blowing shit up again, I'll have arrows where your eyes used to be."

"Mind your words," Thor warned, and Clint just rolled his eyes.

"The Loka-rota knows I'm kidding, right? Right?" He grinned, but then his face fell straight again. "I'm not kidding."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "All right. I'll bear that in mind."

"Same applies if you do any more mind-control."

Loki rolled his eyes. "I promise. Besides, I myself was under the same sort of hypnosis that you experienced."

"What?" Clint sat up, and stopped messing around. "What are you talking about?"

Loki looked away. He didn't like to think about it. It brought back bad memories, and painful experiences.

"When I fell off the Bifrost," Loki said quietly, and saw Thor shift uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye, "I fell into...well, the _wrong _hands. I was offered redemption in exchange for the tesseract. The tesseract holds much power, and it is some of that power that infiltrated you which also infiltrated me. I was of my own actions, but more of a tool than an instigator. I'm sure you know this."

"That is not all," Tony had a curious expression on his face. "We know you were working for someone higher up. That's old news. You're not telling us something."

Loki sighed wearily. "I can't be bothered to tell you! It doesn't matter!"

Steve looked worried. "What happened when you fell off the bridge?"

Loki winced. _The Chitauri happened. Thanos happened_. "Nothing."

Thor frowned. "You are a better liar than this, brother. Fine, if you do not wish to tell us, so be it! I am going to sleep. Travelling from New Mexico has tired me."

"Uhuh, forget us! We just saved a bunch of civilians and witnessed a bomb explosion!" Clint said sarcastically, as Thor stood and made to leave.

"Uh, hello?" Tony joked. "Who got blown up here? Me! I think I'm the most tired out of us all!"

"And yet the one who did the most work is the one who is complaining the least," Steve said shrewdly, giving Loki a friendly smile. "Loki, there's a spare bedroom upstairs. I'm sure Thor will show you."

Loki nodded, and said his goodbyes.

Thor was happy to lead him upstairs, chatting about all the wonderful things they would do together, now that Loki was granted deliverance.

"I'm so happy you're with us now!" he smiled delightedly, as they got to a door. Thor pushed it open, and they entered. "Mother and Father will be so pleased that you are no longer alone!"

Loki snorted. "I recall, Thor, that the causation for my being here made you break Tony's nose. Remember that."

"Oh, I won't!" Thor was still jumping off the walls in happiness. "And when you have your child, everything will be perfect! Like it used to be, before all this madness."

_Madness._

Loki looked around the room. It was a nice guest bedroom, a bit like a hotel room. The bed was utilitarian, with white sheets and a plain metal frame. The curtains were a plain blue. The carpet was a plain cream. Everything was plain. It reminded Loki of the plain corridors that made up this mansion. So, so plain. It would do.

"I need to sleep," Loki said, and, as if on cue, he yawned widely. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, it's not my house," Thor said, with a grin. "I'm sure Tony will be tempted to come up later." No sooner had he said the words, his face suddenly became sombre. "Oh, no! No, no, no! Loki, I forbid any bad behaviour! Not whilst I am only a few rooms away! I forbid it!"

"You _forbid _it?" Loki repeated with amusement.

"Yes!" Thor said, looking slightly anxious.

Loki laughed softly. "All right. If you say so."

"Goodnight, brother," Thor turned to leave.

"One moment," Loki called him back. "Here. Bruce made this for me."

Loki withdrew the sonogram from his jacket, and passed it over to Thor. There was a pause.

"What is it?"

"Do you see that blob there?"

"Yes."

"And that other blob there?"

"Yes."

"Those are my children."

Thor blinked, and looked up at Loki. "Two?"

Loki couldn't help but smile. "Yes, two."

Thor stared back down at the picture, before sweeping Loki up into a hug. "Oh, Loki! This has made me doubly happy!"

Loki gasped for breath, pushing his brother away roughly. "Don't crush me, Thor!"

"This is brilliant! Have you told Tony?"

"Not yet," Loki replied, rubbing his ribs.

"Well, you simply must! He will be just as joyous as I am!" Thor beamed. Something in Loki told him not to deny Thor this one small piece of good news.

_Sentiment, you fool..._

Thor left, still grinning, and with such a spring in his step it made Loki want to do something bad. Like eat all the Poptarts. Or turn all the coffee into cheese. That would be suitably bad.

Loki was left to himself, in the quiet, plain room. He looked over to the bed, getting the urge to shove his face in the sheets. So he did just that- he collapsed on top, inhaling the smell of something distinctly clean and expensive, liking the cool cotton.

"Well, this is an interesting sight."

Loki twisted around to see Tony standing in the doorway. He was holding the crutch, but didn't seem to need to use it much. Clearly his healed leg had stopped aching.

"That was quicker than I anticipated," Loki said, sitting up. "I assumed you'd wait until at least everybody had gone to bed."

"Why? So that it will be less conspicuous when you start making a noise?" Tony wriggled his eyebrows.

Loki allowed his lips to twitch in a smile, but otherwise said nothing.

Tony eventually sighed and came in, shutting the door.

"What is your deal?"

"My deal?"

"Yes, your deal. You go missing for weeks, and then suddenly you're in my house, having food fights with my friends, and getting chummy with Bruce and Clint. And Thor is practically _glowing. _Not to mention the fact that you've basically saved my ass twice in far too few weeks."

"I don't understand."

Tony made a frustrated noise, and ran his hand through his hair. "All right, let me put it like this. Did you take what I said seriously? Are you joining us? Because before in the infirmary, when you said you were _leaving, _I assumed that meant you were leaving for good. But you didn't. You stayed. Why?"

Loki took in Tony's face- he'd missed this face. As much as he loathed to admit it, he missed Tony. He related this face to warmth and security, and having a good laugh. Tony never skirted around an issue with him, and he wasn't so stupid that Loki wanted to pull his own hair out.

"I stayed because Fury called me to his office-"

"What?" Tony was instantly troubled. "Are you okay? Did he try something? What did he do?"

Loki furrowed his brow. "He did nothing. He simply accused me of a few things, and then I left. Then I ran into, quite literally, Bruce, who asked me to comply with a few tests."

Tony's face paled. "And you _agreed?"_

"He didn't _do _anything to me!" Loki scoffed. "What is wrong with you? Why are you so bothered?"

"Because these people want you dead!" Tony said imploringly. "And you're just going along with them!"

"Bruce does not want me dead, Tony," Loki said patiently. "You said so yourself. I've found we get along quite well."

Tony seemed pacified, but the crease in between his eyebrows did not disappear. "What tests did he run on you? Did you give him blood? Did he give you any drugs?"

"No! Stop worrying! He did a sonogram, before he was called up for some sort of discussion with the others, which was postponed because of my presence. So instead, I stayed for dinner. There. Does that appease you?" Loki asked, concerned that Tony's head was about to explode.

"A sonogram?" Tony asked. "Really? What did you see?"

Loki hesitated, but then gestured for Tony to come sit next to him on the bed. Tony's thigh brushed his, but he did not mind. He held out the photograph, and Tony took it.

"Umm, not to be insensitive, but I can't see it," Tony said honestly, and Loki smiled.

"That there," Loki pointed.

"What, that lump?"

"Yes, Tony, that _lump _is your child. And that there."

"What's that? Its head?"

"No, that's the other child."

Oh, how Loki wished he had a camera! Tony's face was so beautifully priceless that he couldn't help but erupt into euphoric giggles. He flopped onto his back, enjoying the soft cotton sheets, grinning idly at the ceiling, as Tony made an odd choking noise.

"T-twins?" Tony gasped. "Twins?"

"Mmmhmm," Loki closed his eyes and flung his arms above his head, stretching out.

"So you'll grow doubly huge?"

"Don't be an ass, Tony. I preferred it when you were speechless."

Tony's face loomed over his. "So...?"

"So, what?" Loki asked.

"Have you made any other decisions?"

"No, not really," Loki said with a shrug. "I had no idea Midgard had such developed equipment. On Asgard, a woman would not know she was carrying twins until the delivery. I must admit, being mentally prepared for two babies instead of one feels like an enormous relief."

"You need to stop getting yourself into dangerous situations," Tony said, putting a hand on Loki's hair, and twirling it in his fingers.

Loki looked up without moving, wondering if Tony realised what he was doing. "I'll try."

"Good."

Silence fell. Tony kept playing with Loki's hair, not quite realising he was doing it, whilst looking at the sonogram.

"Are you going to let me sleep now?" Loki asked quietly.

"What? Oh yes. Yeah, of course," Tony hastily got up. "Erm, thanks again. Y'know. For today. And those other times. And for my leg. And, y'know..."

"I know," Loki told him with a smile. "Goodnight, Tony."

"Night."

Tony left, still staring at the sonogram, and Loki allowed himself to cover his face with his hands, trying to stifle his scream at the things he had been meaning to say but didn't.

XXX

Tony shut Loki's bedroom door, and leant heavily against it, still holding aloft the sonogram. Really, he should go back in and give it back to Loki, but that would just be awkward, wouldn't it?

It had been the strangest thing, going into his kitchen and seeing a huge mess, the furniture in a disarray, and food flying through the air. Stranger still was seeing Loki, eating, _laughing, _being welcomed by the Avengers. It seemed that his actions earlier at the bank had truly vindicated him, amplified still by the fact that now, Loki was pregnant, and therefore unequivocally had Tony as an asset, rather than an enemy.

Tony leant gingerly on his leg. The throbbing had eased down a little, but he still found it amazing that it had healed so quickly at all. Scenarios flashed in Tony's mind, where Loki was a team member, not a villain, and how unbeatable they would be with him at their side.

The scenes morphed so that, instead of on the battlefield, Tony was with Loki in his living room, laughing and smiling. In the fantasy Loki held two bundles in his arms, and his face was glowing with happiness, so much so that Tony could hardly imagine the pains and suffering etched on that age-old face any longer. Twins. _Twins. _For some reason, the idea that they were having _two _made him more enamoured than he had been before.

He shook himself.

"Stop it, Tony," he muttered to himself. It was bad enough that, as soon as Thor and Loki had left, Tony had excused himself also, with the inexplicable need to just _talk _to Loki properly again. But they hadn't had much of a conversation, had they?

Tony ran his fingers over the sonogram again, and then walked away, in desperate need for some sleep.

**End of chapter 4.**

**Right. Please read:**

**I am on holiday for the next week and a bit. I will be off the radar, unless I can find WiFi in Spain.**

**I know how crappy this chapter is, but I promise to make it better when I get back.**

**Thank you for taking the time to read!**

**Here, Ellie, I have a whole basket of love. *dumps contents of basket on Ellie***

**I haven't been very well recently, which is why this chapter will need tending to later.**

**Thank you again!**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

**Valhalla above, I cannot **_**begin **_**to start apologising for the wait in updates. It's inexcusable. I am so, **_**so **_**sorry. Please forgive me. **

_**All original characters were named by an online name generator. Don't judge me. :)**_

**EDWARD, IF YOU READ THIS, I WILL BE UNABLE TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE. IT CONTAINS EXPLICIT GAY PORN, AND IS OF A CALLIBRE OF WRITING THAT MAKES ME SHUDDER. PLEASE DO NOT READ IT. AS MY FRIEND, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT.**

Chapter 5

Loki awoke to the smell of food.

And the sound of the smoke alarm.

"_Shit!"_

"_You dickhead!"_

Curious, and rubbing his eyes, he slipped out of the bed, magicking a dressing gown around himself, and pottered out to the corridor.

The smoke alarm was still blaring from downstairs in the kitchen, and raised voices could be heard.

Smiling to himself, he ambled down the stairs and followed the sound of the siren and the yelling, to the kitchen, where he found Clint desperately wafting a tea towel over the smoke alarm on the ceiling, whilst Steve and Natasha were trying to put out the fire that was on the stove.

"Good morning," he called out, but he was barely acknowledged. He strolled over to Steve and Natasha, who were attacking the stove with a fire extinguisher, but it wasn't really working.

Loki rolled his eyes, and raised his hand. An avalanche of snow formed above the stove, and collapsed on top of it, killing the fire immediately with a small hiss.

Steve and Natasha looked around to him, and blinked.

Loki coughed delicately, fanning the smoke away from his face, just as Clint succeeded in stopping the smoke alarm.

"Thanks, buddy," Steve said, tapping his shoulder, and turning to survey the mess that was the snow-covered stove. "Hope we didn't wake you."

Loki hid a smile. "No, not at all. I'm an early riser."

Natasha was glowering at him, but the effect was ruined because she was in a pink t-shirt and jeans, and her face was still puffy from just waking up.

At that moment Thor and Tony burst in.

"What the heck is going on?" cried Tony. "Holy shit! My kitchen! Why do you people _insist _upon wrecking my stuff?"

Thor looked bleary eyed but concerned. "Brother, all is well?"

Loki nodded, but had to step out of the way as Tony barged past to inspect his ruined stove.

"Where the fuck did this ice come from?" he demanded. "And why the fuck are you setting light to my shit?"

"Loki," Steve mumbled. "And we were trying to scramble eggs."

Tony raised a disbelieving eyebrow weakly. "E-eggs? Rogers, I suggest you leave any strenuous work to the adults, seeing as you're incapable."

"I thought Natasha was minding them!" Steve defended. "But she was doing the toast."

Loki looked for the toaster, and, with perfect timing, it pinged, and toast popped out. He tried not to laugh.

Tony ran both palms over his face and groaned. "I'm going back to bed. Don't wake me up, unless you want me to beat your ass."

He stomped out, brushing past Loki, and slammed the door.

There was silence as everyone looked sheepishly at each other, before bursting out laughing.

"_I can hear you!" _came the sounds of Tony from somewhere in the house. It only served to fuel their laughter.

"Toast, Loki-Cola?" Clint offered, fishing four slicers out of the toaster and bunging them on a plate with little finesse. The Avengers, sans Bruce and Tony, with Loki, slumped around the kitchen table, yawning and grumbling, as Clint put more toast in the toaster, and dished out those that were ready for consumption.

Steve had placed several jars on the table, and a few knives, and Loki inspected it all curiously.

"Butter," Natasha said after a while, when Loki had spent a long moment looking over the tub. "You spread it on the toast. God, you're an idiot."

She was sounding patronising and insulting, but no longer angry. Loki just glanced up at her, and opened the tub. Inside was a yellowish substance.

He got a knife and poked it. It was soft.

"Heavens above!" Natasha cried, snatching the butter and his slice of toast out of his hand. "Here! Let me do it, before I impale you!"

Thor was chuckling at Loki's indignant expression, whilst vacuuming up his own toast, which was covered in something red.

"What do you like?" Natasha asked, having finished spreading a thin layer of butter from edge to edge of Loki's toast. "Jelly? Peanut butter?"

"What?" Loki asked, not having come across any of these things.

"Honey?" she questioned. "You must have heard of honey."

"Yes, of course," he muttered. "I don't know what-"

"Oh my god, Natasha," Clint interrupted, with a grin. "Do him Marshmallow Fluff!"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I don't want to poison him, Clint. That stuff is vile."

Loki raised his eyebrows at her, but she looked away.

"Fine, do him the blackberry stuff that Steve likes. That's nice."

"No! That's mine!"

"Geez, Steve, fine!"

"I think I can decide for myself!" Loki said, pulling his plate back towards himself. "And I think I'll stick to what I know!"

Thor, without having to be asked, tossed the honey pot across the table to him, and he caught it.

"So," Steve said after a while. "Fury's called a meeting this afternoon. Something tells me he's still annoyed about yesterday. Other than that, I'm planning on helping out with the cleanup party that's been sent out to clear away the mess. Anyone want to join me?"

He was received with stony stares.

"All right," he said quietly, nibbling at his toast. "I'll go by myself."

"What are we going to do about Tony's stove?" Clint asked.

"Buy him a new one?" Natasha shrugged. "I'll look one up on the internet."

At that moment, the door opened again, and a very strained looking Bruce came in.

"Next time you plan on lighting the place on fire, would you mind letting me know in advance?" he said through gritted teeth. "It does not do well for one's self to be violently awoken from a rather pleasant dream by the sounds of a smoke alarm."

"Sorry Bruce," Steve apologised. "Toast? It's all we have until the stove is fixed."

Bruce pursed his lips, but sat down and accepted.

"How's the yoga doing?"Clint asked.

Bruce turned a baleful eye upon him. "Wonderfully."

Clint handed him his toast. "What strange crap are you going to put on it this time?"

Bruce smiled, and seemed to relax a little. "Hmm, if you would be so kind as to pass the tinned tomatoes?"

Steve pulled a face, but nonetheless reached over to a cupboard to pull out a tin of tomatoes. "You strange, strange man."

"I'm glad that's what you think is the strangest thing about me," Bruce mumbled, pulling back the tab.

"Yeah, cold tomatoes on toast. Eeew! Great green ball of rage? I've seen stranger," Clint teased.

Loki barely got a whiff of the acrid smell of cold tomatoes fermenting in their own juice before his whole body heaved.

He launched himself out of his chair, just in time to throw up his breakfast into the sink, his stomach doing bungee jumps inside him, his head swimming, and his whole body shuddering.

"Loki!" Thor cried out, instantly by his side, pulling back his hair. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Loki gasped, the vomit ceasing for a moment, just for him to say, "The- the tomatoes. Get them o-" before he was vomiting again. Even the sheer _thought _of the smell made him convulse.

He sagged against the sink, still heaving, barely hearing the sounds of the others behind him moving about.

"I don't understand what's wrong?" Thor was saying, one hand on Loki's shoulder worriedly.

Smaller hands were suddenly at his face, holding his hair back.

"He's got nausea. Perfectly normal," Natasha said, calmly. "Anything can set it off. It appears Loki is not a fan of tomatoes. Or tinned tomatoes at least. Sorry Bruce. Guess you'll have to wait until he's gone before you can eat."

She firmly pulled him away from the sink, passing him a box of tissues and a glass of water.

"Sip this, _slowly," _she instructed, as Loki slumped weakly against the counter, trying not to moan too piteously.

He felt wretched. The sensation of having his guts try and claw their way out of his mouth had left him feeling faint and swoony.

The others were watching with caution, but luckily the tomatoes had been hidden...somewhere. Loki didn't want to think about it for too long.

"Hey, you okay?" Clint asked.

"Y-yes," Loki coughed, sipping his water. "Sorry about that. This is much worse than the usual morning sickness."

Steve was biting his lip worriedly, as Thor continued to hover nearby.

"Well," Natasha said huffily. "You're just going to have to eat some more later, now aren't you? What a waste of toast!"

But Loki couldn't help but feel that she was no longer as vitriolic towards him as she used to be, most probably because of the blatant displays of vulnerability she had seen him in. And perhaps, maybe just possibly, she could soon come to accept him.

XXX

Loki was seated at the kitchen table, alone finally, carefully sipping a cup of green tea. He was still feeling light headed, and if he moved too suddenly, his stomach lurched. If this was what it was going to be like for the next eight months, then Loki was fully prepared to just lie in a bed somewhere until the whole ordeal was over. This was miserable.

He looked up as the door opened, and Phil Coulson came in.

As if this morning couldn't get any more awkward.

"Good morning!" Agent Coulson said cheerily.

Loki raised an eyebrow confusedly. "Good morning," he managed.

Coulson went over to the fridge and removed a carton of milk from it. He then went to the kettle, and began boiling the water. Loki watched as the man got out a mug, a teabag, and sugar.

As if Loki didn't have enough problems, he was now also wracked with guilt as he watched Coulson prepare a cup of tea. It was a miracle he was even still alive.

"So," Coulson said, with an unnerving firmness that made Loki want to leave. He came over and sat down opposite Loki, and pinned him with a slightly amused gaze.

Loki said nothing.

"Fury is a little, erm, what's the word?" Coulson appeared to mull it over. "Disconcerted is one word we could use here."

"Disconcerted?" Loki repeated hesitantly. "Can I ask why?"

Coulson just smiled. "Not two months ago, you were on SHIELD's ten most wanted."

"Ah," Loki said, staring down at his mug. "What's changed?"

"Everything has changed," Coulson replied. "SHIELD has been making some amendments to your charges."

Loki looked up enquiringly. "Oh yes?"

"Under the stipulation that you conform to SHIELD's requests, we will remove all charges set against you."

Loki blinked. "What are these charges?"

"Well, after last year's invasion, you were convicted of murdering, or facilitating the murder of, over two hundred and fifty people."

Loki swallowed down bile, and stilled.

"Also," Coulson continued, "terrorism charges, charges for the damage inflicted upon several SHIELD agents when you brainwashed them, damage to property that cost more than fifty million dollars, use of weapons of mass destruct-"

"All right, I understand!" Loki interrupted, not wanting to hear any more.

"Then," Coulson said, ignoring him, "in the last year since your return to Earth, damage costs worth one point one billion dollars across the United States, in total-"

"Really? That's a lot," Loki rubbed the back of his neck.

"Assuming that all those earthquakes and tsunamis were caused by you," Coulson said wryly, "and we have sufficient evidence to prove that they were."

Loki huffed. "Well, I don't see you charging Thor with a hefty bill every time lightning strikes New York."

Coulson rolled his eyes, but reached into his jacket to reveal several pieces of paper folded in half once.

"These are contracts. We had them written up last night."

"That was quick of you."

"It includes a guilt clause, and stipulates all the conditions SHIELD have, in return for _not _throwing you in prison for the rest of your life," Coulson finished.

Loki frowned. There was no way he would ever sign these contracts. Admit all fault? Never. Become SHIELD's personal little plaything? He would rather return to Asgard and live in solitude forever. Nonetheless, he opened the papers, and read them.

Coulson waited patiently, and got out a pen when Loki finished.

"I see no mention of the Chitauri army here, Agent Coulson," Loki said smoothly. "Nor do I see where you have included Thanos' threats upon Earth."

"We're talking about _your _crimes, Loki, not the crimes of some unknown alien-"

"Unknown _alien?" _Loki repeated, disbelievingly. "Are you really so blind? Has SHIELD not told you the truth?"

Coulson frowned, and tilted his head to survey Loki. "SHIELD was informed by the Allfather himself that Thanos' involvement in your attack on Earth was uninitiated-"

Loki laughed out loud. "The Allfather! And you believed him! Tell me, Agent Coulson, did you ever go near the Tesseract?"

Coulson blinked. "Occassionally."

"Did you feel its power?"

"Sparingly."

"But I'm sure SHIELD informed you of what close proximity to the Tesseract does to people? What it did to the Avengers, before they banded together?"

Revelation sparked in Coulson's eyes. "Volatility. Aggression."

"Amongst other things," Loki nodded. "Thanos wanted the Tesseract for himself- he wanted to control the minds of his foes. Don't you see? He already had part of its power- the sceptre that the Chitauri gave to me had the same effect as the cube. I was-"

"Under mind control," Coulson finished. He sat back, and Loki could almost _hear _his brain whirring. Coulson tapped the edge of his mouth with the pen, thinking.

Loki scowled. "Those weren't the words I was going to use."

"So Thanos controlled you through the use of the Tesseract?"

Loki pursed his lips. "Agent Coulson, SHIELD knows of how I came about the Chitauri. This can hardly be news to you."

Coulson shook his head confusedly. "Files claim you attempted to murder your brother, and then sought out the Chitauri for revenge."

Loki gaped. How..._ How?!_

"Who told you that?" he asked weakly.

"Our sources came from Asgard-"

"Asgard!" Loki slammed his hand on the table, causing Coulson to jump. Anger was pouring through his veins, and he felt his throat constrict from the betrayal...

"What is the truth, then?" Coulson demanded.

"I fell from the Bifrost," Loki said through gritted teeth. His voice left him as recollections from his time falling, falling, _falling _through space hit him. Pain, such unimaginable pain, and yet such overwhelming emptiness. "The Chitauri found me, or took me, or summoned me_, I know not!_ But either way, the presence of Asgard's fallen prince gave them...ideas," Loki said bitterly, closing his eyes. "I do not like talking about it."

"What did they do?" Coulson asked. He had withdrawn a notebook, and was writing down was Loki had said. The truth, for once, instead of lies...

"What do you think they did?" Loki snapped, snarling at Coulson. "You saw me, Agent! You saw me the day I arrived on Midgard! What did it look like I had endured?"

Coulson looked up, and Loki saw pity shimmering in those kind eyes. "Torture."

"Yes, torture," Loki replied scathingly. "Thanos knew of my desire for revenge, of my magic, and my potential. He moulded me into something that would take it that step further. And how do you mould something to do your bidding? Why, you break it, first."

Coulson was frowning softly, but Loki didn't want his pity. His misery, anger, and pain was bubbling over. His injustice at the world for not knowing the _truth, _for not knowing what those monsters _did _to him, no matter how much he begged, how much he pleaded, until all that was left of him was a shell...

"When at last I was broken, they taught me the ways of the Tesseract, promised me things I knew I could never have, victories that I would never gain, and yet I believed them, for this sliver of hope was better than the agony I endured from their hand, the agony that I associated with being outcast, unwanted, betrayed and defeated by those I thought to _love!" _Loki spat. The scar he had managed to ignore in his chest was suddenly suppurating open once more, and his heart ached.

"You did not believe it, and yet you continued doing it?" Coulson asked.

Loki let out a harsh laugh. "You said so yourself, Agent. You, of all these heroes, said I lacked conviction. Why was it only you could see through the control Thanos had over me?"

Coulson smiled. "You gave Thor the chance to escape when you let him drop from the Hellicarrier. You missed my heart by mere inches. Those weren't accidents."

Loki stared at Phil Coulson. "Why have you forgiven me? I tried to kill you."

"If you were yourself, if you had never been under Thanos' control, would you have ever done what you did?" Coulson parried.

"I could!" Loki said, defensively. "I could raise this city to the ground if I so wished!"

Coulson reached into his jacket again, and pulled out another piece of paper with a devious smile. He waved it in Loki's face. "These are your stats. Here, let me show you."

He smoothed the paper down in front of Loki. "Last year, your murder rate was literally off the chart," he pointed to a bar graph. Over the month of April 2012, the bar was not quantifiable. "After that, do you see what I see?"

Loki frowned. "I do not understand."

The chart made no sense. There was one bar on the whole chart, which represented the past year.

"That's because, Loki Laufeyson, in the last year, excluding the month that you were playing puppet for Thanos, you have not maimed, injured or murdered a single human being. I don't think you could raise New York to the ground at all."

Loki looked up, and blinked at Coulson. "This is the truth?"

"It is. I showed these stats to SHIELD, and this is the reason you have been exonerated. Of course, we're all under the impression the Chitauri invasion was all your idea, and you are to blame, but now I'm going to do some investigating, and see if we can get a new guilt clause written up. One that claims you were brainwashed. I'll propose it to Fury, and see if I can prove to him that all your incidents since the invasion were just your idea of...mischief."

Coulson's eyes were glittering with amusement.

"Why?" Loki demanded, dubious as to Coulson's motives. "I stabbed you through the chest. You should not be breathing. Why would you alter the jurisdiction that you all believe I deserve?"

Coulson shrugged, as he stood up, collecting together the papers and tucking them away. "If what you say is true about Thanos, then you're not exactly the evil villain we think you are. You're just an anarchist causing a little chaos, and to be honest, SHIELD warrants a little anarchy in its jurisdiction."

And he left, leaving Loki feeling oddly at peace.

XXX

Tony, feeling more awake and ready to face the mayhem that was his life, was heading down to the lab to try and design an algorithm that could help Jarvis recalibrate the suit if Tony ever lost consciousness whilst in it (he had woken up, and the idea had popped into his head suddenly), when he ran into Natasha and Bruce muttering together in the corridor.

"Hey," Tony greeted, then stopped short when he saw their expressions, which screamed _we were just talking about you but we're going to try and pretend otherwise! _"What is it?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Nothing," Bruce replied casually, and Natasha nodded.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Right. By the way, who is buying me a new kitchen? I'm sick of funding you children, and getting nothing in return."

"We'll fix your goddamn kitchen," Natasha said impatiently. "Of course, if you're hosting a god of chaos for the foreseeable future, there might be no point in refurbishing at all."

Tony scowled at her. "I don't see _him _destroying my stuff."

"Wait until the hormones kick in," Natasha said sassily. "You won't be so vomit-inducing around him then. You'll be running for your scrawny hide, lest he skin you and eat you."

"Ah, so it will be like having two of _you _in the house," Tony smirked, and pushed his way into his lab. He heard the two of them follow him in. "By the way, is he still here, or has he scarpered?"

"He's still here," Bruce said. "Why?"

"He has a tendency to slip away at any opportunity," Tony told him, turning on his computers.

"Oh, well, he was in the kitchen when we left him. He looked a little worse for wear," Natasha shrugged.

"Why? What happened?" Tony asked, a slight hint of concern in his voice.

"Morning sickness," Bruce piped up. "He looked terrible."

Tony frowned. "Is he okay?"

He got no answer, and when he looked around, he saw Natasha and Bruce snickering to themselves. "Ha ha, very funny. Let's poke fun at Tony. Is this what you two were whispering about?"

Bruce pulled an apologetic face. "Erm no. Actually, you could probably help us with that."

"Help you with what?"

"Natasha doesn't believe me, but could you get Jarvis to pull up some surveillance shots of Loki from last year. Perhaps when he threw you out the window?" Bruce asked, as Natasha snorted at the memory.

"Yeah, I can, but why?" Tony asked, confused.

"Just do it. But before you do, answer this. What colour are Loki's eyes?"

Tony looked at Bruce like he had lost his mind. "What? What sort of a stupid ass question is that? How should I know?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question, Stark."

Tony swallowed. Truth be told, he knew exactly what shade, what hexagonal colour code, what pattern, what shape, what deep hue of—

"Green, they're green, aren't they?" Tony tried to be nonchalant. They were like bright green leaves, pronounced even further because of his pale skin and dark hair.

"Jarvis, could you get us those surveillance pictures?" Bruce asked politely.

"Of course, sir," Jarvis complied, and the projector in the ceiling buzzed on, throwing an image of Loki with his hand around Tony's throat onto the wall.

Both Bruce and Natasha simultaneously burst out laughing, mostly because of Tony's frozen look of terror. Tony just sighed, and waited for them to gather their bearings.

"What exactly was it that you needed this picture for?" he asked exasperatedly.

Bruce went up to the projection. "I was right! Look, Natasha! Blue! Bright blue! Jarvis, identify the shade of blue for me?"

"Certainly, sir. It is cyan, hex code 00FFFF. Incidentally, sir, this is the same shade of the Tesseract cube."

There was silence.

Tony let this information wash over him, barely looking at Bruce and Natasha, who looked equally uneasy, before saying, "Jarvis, can you find the shade of blue of Agent Barton's eyes when he arrived on the Hellicarrier?"

"Yes, sir. It will take one minute to sort through the surveillance on SHIELD's database."

They simply stood there, looking at each other.

"Is this what you were hinting at?" Tony asked Bruce. "He was under the control of somebody else?"

"Yes," Bruce said, and he looked excited. "Imagine this, Tony! Imagine if we can prove that it was entirely somebody else controlling his actions! I mean, he's already admitted to us that he was brainwashed! But imagine if we can prove it!"

"Brainwashed like Clint?" Natasha asked.

"Yes!" Bruce exclaimed. "Clint said it was like having your mind extended, rather than constricted. Like he was being shown truths. That's how they control your mind- by making you think you've been enlightened. What if Loki believed he was doing what _he _thought he wanted, but really, he was simply doing another's bidding because he considered it the _truth. _Free from freedom- ha! How appropriate!"

Tony felt slightly sick. The man in the picture, the man who had killed Coulson (or tried to), who had blown up New York, who had thrown Tony out of a window, was under the bidding of someone else. Someone _truly _evil. Someone like Thanos.

"Do you remember what we were like in that room with the sceptre? What it did to us?" Natasha asked quietly. "Imagine holding it for a long time. Imagine channelling your magic through it. No wonder he was completely insane."

"Sir?" Jarvis spoke up. "I can confirm sir. It is the same shade of cyan. It appears the Tesseract held a kind of control over them all. It could only be shaken by cognitive recalibration."

"When I hit Clint over the head, he returned to normal," Natasha nodded.

"When I- the _other _guy- smashed Loki into the ground..." Bruce trailed off, and Tony felt his stomach flip.

"He was so docile," Tony muttered. "He simply gave up. Do you remember? He asked for that drink, and simply gave up. He let Thor manhandle him into that...that...that muzzle thing. He didn't fight back, he didn't try and escape. Jarvis!" he yelled suddenly. "Do the same thing, but with a picture of Loki after the Hulk smashed the shit out of him."

Bruce coughed slightly, and scratched the back of his head. They waited with bated breath for Jarvis to speak.

"Conclusively, sir, the shade of blue was significantly duller, returning to Mr Laufeyson's usual green. Perhaps the control weaned off gradually, similar to Agent Barton's return to consciousness?"

Tony thought that over. "Perhaps. I don't know. But it doesn't matter. I need to go ask him."

"Tony, you can't just go _ask _him-"

But Natasha's protests were cut off as Tony careered out of the lab. He ran up to the first level, to get the elevator, when he saw Phil Coulson trundling down the steps in that carefree but _don't-mess-with-me-motherfuckers _way that he has.

"Coulson! Agent Coulson, wait, wait, wait!" Tony called out, hurrying over to him. "Bruce and I just worked something out. It was the Tesseract all along. There was an element of mind control-"

"Yeah, I know," Coulson cut him off, holding up a hand. "I was just talking to him."

Tony stopped short. "Really? What did he say? Did he tell you who it was controlling him?"

Coulson looked at Tony with a troubled expression. "It was Thanos, apparently. I am going to investigate further."

"No, wait!" Tony stopped Coulson was walking away by grabbing his arm. "What did he tell you?"

Coulson sighed. "Nothing I wanted to hear. It appears SHIELD was deeply misinformed about the consequences that led to Loki's invasion. He was _caught _by the Chitauri, and tortured into submission, Stark. I think we could all do with getting off his back for a while."

Tony stepped back in shock. "Tortured? What? What do you mean?"

Coulson rubbed his forehead. "You're right. He was brainwashed himself. Brainwashed by Thanos' servants to do his bidding. I'm going to look into it, if you'd just let me go."

Tony released Coulson, a pain thudding in his head. Tortured? _Loki? _

Memories of Afghanistan flashed unbidden into his mind. How badly had Loki been hurt, to make him want to attack Earth in a desperate search for a triumph that could never be won?

"Oh, and Stark, don't talk to him about it, okay?" Coulson added, just before he stepped out the front door. "It's bad enough, with everybody hassling him. Fury will want him in a good enough mood, so that he'll answer some questions."

The door closed, leaving Tony's angry retort unheard.

He mindlessly walked into the elevator, and pressed a random button, just wanting to move, and think, in peace.

How deep did the Chitauri's power over Loki go? What sort of mindset did they beat him into, to cause him to agree to invade Earth?

Tony remembered seeing the footage of Loki landing in SHIELD headquarters, and damn, he had looked like he was on withdrawal (Tony would know), and had been dragged backwards through a hedge.

Tony decided there and then to let the matter slide. He himself had enough problems talking about what happened in Afghanistan, even now- he doubted Loki would be forthcoming with any information, no matter how badly Tony wanted to know.

With a sigh, he entered the elevator, and returned to his floor, to brood and deliberate about everything that had been uncovered in the last few months.

XXX

Tony emerged from his room several hours later and into the main living area in time to see Loki pulling on a big black coat, talking quietly with Steve.

"Where're you going?" he asked, absently scratching his chest around the arc reactor.

Loki looked up at him. "Oh. I'm going home. I was about to come and thank you for letting me stay over."

Tony waved that away impatiently. "You're not staying any longer?"

Loki sighed, and looked down. "Tony, I really ought to be leaving now."

Tony frowned. "Can you at least stay for lunch?"

"No, Tony."

Steve was awkwardly shuffling on his feet, but neither Tony nor Loki looked at him.

"Fine," Tony said gruffly. "Fine. I'll, erm, see you around then."

Loki nodded, and walked past him. The coat smelt of new wool and a nutty scent. "See you...around."

The door closed behind him, and Tony twitched nervously. Why hadn't he said anything? Why did he _keep _letting Loki just leave?

"Pal," Steve said wryly. "I'm pretty sure if you two were meant to have a moment, that was it."

"Whatever, Casanova," Tony muttered. "Who am I to tell him what to do?"

"Tony, it's actually somewhat sickening to look at you two," Steve told him. "And I kinda like him. It's obvious before, when we were fighting him, he wasn't quite all there in the head. But now he's...y'know, basically _you."_

Tony raised his eyebrows, not mentioning to Steve the things he had learnt about Loki that morning. "Is that meant to be a compliment?"

Steve just grinned. "Well, he gave me his jacket. It's a cracking jacket. You don't get me jackets. Maybe you should start buying me jackets, Tony."

Tony rolled his eyes as Steve held out the same leather jacket Loki had been wearing yesterday, and slapped Steve on the back.

"Don't get too chummy with him, Steve. He might turn around one day and skewer you, then spit roast you, and eat you."

Tony didn't really feel hungry, so he left Steve, who was eagerly pulling on the jacket, which _magically _fit his huge broad size despite having been originally intended for someone much more slender, and headed down into his workshop.

JARVIS automatically turned on the lights for him, and began turning everything on.

"JARVIS, put Deep Purple on loop, and get the welders going."

"Bad morning, sir?"

"What do you think?" Tony sniffed. He couldn't recall ever giving JARVIS sarcasm in the programming.

"I feel I should tell you that I've finally tracked Mr Laufeyson's residence, after you instructed me to, the other day."

Tony blinked. He had completely forgotten about that.

"That was quick," Tony remarked. "I know it's near Central Park."

"It appears he was lying about that, sir," JARVIS replied with some hesitation. "He's actually living in an apartment in SoHo."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Really? Nice."

"A studio apartment above an art gallery. Would you like me to input the address to your GPS?"

Tony sighed. "Yeah, go on. I need to go find him anyway. I can't take this disappearing crap anymore."

JARVIS fell silent, and cranked up the volume for Tony's music, as he busied himself in tinkering with an engine for a car...

XXX

It was indeed a very nice apartment. Tony looked up at it from the sidewalk, leaning against his car, and realised that Loki was really living it up. There were three floors- the bottom floor was the art gallery, the second floor had lacy drapes which he figured belonged to somebody else, and the uppermost floor must be Loki's.

The door had an intercom system, which made Tony nervous, but he braved it anyway, and pressed the buzzer.

There was no answer, so Tony tried the buzzer below it.

"Hello?"

The crackled voice of an old sounding woman greeted him.

"Erm, hello," he said hesitantly. "I'm here for, erm, your neighbour? Is he in?"

"Who, Luke?" the woman asked.

Luke?_ Luke?! _Oh, Loki was never hearing the end of this one.

"Yeah, Luke. Is he in? He's not answering."

"He should be in," the old woman replied. "I'll buzz you up."

"Thank you."

"Oh wait! Who are you? Luke told me not to let in..."

"Erm, well, my name is...I'm Tony," Tony winced, hoping this woman wouldn't call the police or anything.

"Oh, okay. He's never mentioned you. Come on up."

The door buzzed open, and Tony hurried in.

Inside, there was a pleasant ivory coloured carpet leading to a set of mahogany stairs. On the white painted walls were several paintings that looked as if they could have been bought by the art gallery next door. Tony climbed the stairs, and came across a door.

_15a- Mrs A.P. Richards _was painted on a letter box.

Not this floor.

He kept climbing, and as he did, he could hear the sound of music.

The next door was 15b, and the letter box was inscribed _Mr L.I. Smith._

"Original," Tony muttered, but leant in to hear through the door.

_Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out! They leave the West behind! And Moscow girls make me sing and shout! That Georgia's always on my m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mind!_

Tony gaped. Loki was murmuring along to The Beatles. Whatever next?

The music was pretty loud, but Tony tried knocking anyway. He wasn't sure what kind of response he was expecting. A cup of tea and a chat? Or would Loki be absolutely furious, and blast his ass into next Tuesday?

There was no response, so Tony tried the door knob. It was on the latch, and so it opened quite easily.

He stepped into an entrance hall with a lush green carpet and dark patterned walls, decorated with a piano in the corner and bookshelves everywhere, with a squidgy looking couch on the far wall.

"Very, very nice," Tony appraised the room. It wasn't his sort of taste, not at all, but he had been worrying that Loki was living in some sort of squalor, as was usual for evil villains, who resided in pokey caves near the coast, eating rats and babies for fun.

Suddenly the music stopped, and a _whoosh _of fire erupted around Tony, who cried out and covered his head with his hands.

He could feel his skin burning, and could smell his hair singeing, but then suddenly the fire disappeared.

"_Tony?!"_

Tony peered up around his hands, still cowering in a crouch. Loki was in full battle gear, helmet and everything, and green smoke was dancing around his clawed hands- he was prepared to strike an unknown foe.

"Ah. Hi. Those are some pretty impressive wards you have here," he chuckled, but it came out slightly hysterical.

"How- how- how on _Earth _did you find me?" Loki demanded, striding forwards and grasping Tony's arm. He yanked him through the entrance hall to the kitchen. It was not very large- just big enough for one person to perhaps cook, and a small square table for one person to eat at. Alone. But the counters were granite, and the fridge was a SMEG, and there was an Aga. Still living it up, then.

"JARVIS," Tony admitted, and Loki scowled.

"Here," Loki pushed him into the one chair at the table, and passed his hands over Tony. The effects of the magical flames lifted, and Tony was no longer singed.

"You're not annoyed?" Tony checked.

"Well," Loki shrugged, "yes, a little. The point of this place was so that nobody could find me."

"I'm sorry," Tony said, and he was somewhat shocked to find that he meant it. "What does the woman below you think?"

"Mrs Richards? Oh, she doesn't read the newspapers," Loki waved a hand, and perched on the edge of a counter. His armour dissolved around him, leaving him in Earth clothes- a thick knit green jumper and jeans. Tony felt his mouth go dry. "She thinks I'm fantastic."

Tony rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Look, I was just wanting to, well, erm, check up on you, I guess. You left pretty abruptly Wednesday morning. I think Bruce wanted to play with you a bit longer."

Loki raised an eyebrow, but seemed pleased. "Tony, it's only polite for so long to take advantage of somebody's hospitality until it starts to feel awkward."

"Nobody felt awkward," Tony countered.

"_I _felt awkward," Loki snapped back. "Not a week ago, your friends would have preferred me rotting alone in another realm."

Tony shook his head, and Loki crossed his arms. "Look, Loki, things change up. You're not as much of a recluse as you think you are. And I saw you- you were having fun with them. Why can't you stay with us?"

Loki glared at him, then looked away. "I like my privacy."

"So you can sing along to Beatles tracks?" Tony goaded, which made Loki's nostrils flare and his eyes flash. "Jesus, Loki! You can do that with us! I'm sure you've worked out by now that we're all a bunch of dickheads! Why don't you want to-"

"Why are you pushing this?" Loki stood up, towering over the seated Tony. "What do you want?"

Tony stood up also, forcing Loki to step back so they weren't touching.

"I am _sick _to death of you waltzing out my house when I have things to say to you!" Tony said heatedly, poking Loki in the chest.

Loki pulled a disbelieving face. "What? Why don't you _say _it then? Why wait until I've left?" he demanded, batting away Tony's hand. "Are you really this stupid?"

Tony scowled. "Are you really this damaged that you can't tell when people _care _about you? God, Loki, this has gotten to be more than just occasionally us meeting up and having a chat."

Loki laughed. He actually laughed. He threw back his head and laughed. Tony was presented with a large expanse of white neck, and gulped. He knew he was letting on more than he should- he knew Loki would realise that Tony was hiding something from him, and Tony didn't want to admit just yet that he knew all about Loki's capture.

"Oh, this is wonderful! The infamous Tony Stark, instigating a formal _relationship," _Loki mocked. "What next, Tony? Friendship bracelets? Do you want to sign a pact in blood?"

"Stop being so childish!" Tony snapped. "I came here to talk to you!"

"Then speak!" Loki thundered, and all jest disappeared. "If you have so much to say to me, speak! What is it?"

Tony, paradoxically, had no words. He tried to get a sentence out, but couldn't, only able to imagine a broken, defeated Loki, being forced and coerced into doing something he didn't want to, the agony worse than anything his brother had ever inflicted upon him, or his father, or his heritage. Instead Tony stuttered like a flapping fish, and Loki just scoffed.

"Tony, I think you need to leave me alone. I promised you I would keep away from you, and so far I'm not keeping good on my promise," Loki ran a tired hand across his brow. "It's hard enough as it is, trying to keep away, when you're constantly throwing yourself in danger. Call me an idiot, Tony, but I'm starting to like you, and that's just dangerous for us all."

Tony found his tongue. "Like me? Like, _like _like me, or like me?"

Loki stared at him blankly. "Oh by the Nine. You really _are _insane. What do you _mean?" _He shook Tony by the shoulders, exasperatedly.

Tony blurted out the first few words that sprang to mind. "Do you regret sleeping with me?"

The anger and frustration behind Loki's eyes burned out, and he sagged, releasing Tony, and going back to lean against the counter.

"What sort of question is that?" he asked weakly, rubbing his eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

Tony swallowed heavily. "Why do you keep cropping up just when I need you most? Why are you giving Steve jackets, and making friends with Bruce? Why do you blush every time I say your name out loud?"

Loki ran an aggravated hand through his hair. "Tony, you make it impossible to reply."

"No, I don't," Tony retorted. "You're the lord of lies. Lie to me, then. Tell me you want me to die, and to never speak to you again."

"I don't want to tell you that," Loki said quietly. "You're the father of my children, and I like you. More than I should, really."

A silence fell over them, and Loki kept his eyes resolutely on his own hands. Tony couldn't ignore it any longer, how he wanted to kiss Loki again, hold him again, this time without any guilt, because Loki was a _good _man, and Tony knew it.

"I'm finding," Loki said after a while, "that I'm craving your company more and more."

Tony could tell this was a Big Deal. Loki didn't confide in people. Loki didn't form attachments. Not anymore. Not since he was so horribly betrayed. But hadn't he been able to confide in Tony, just that once? That one drunken night, where neither were judging the other, and were able to just _be themselves?_

Tony took a deep breath, and went over to Loki so that he could reach up and turn his face towards him. Time to man up and take what he wanted.

"Loki," he muttered, and relished the red burn that blossomed over Loki's cheeks. "Do you regret it?"

"No," Loki said, firmly. "I'm not lying."

"I figured not," Tony said with a small smile. "Pepper's gonna be so proud of me."

"Why?" Loki quirked an eyebrow.

"She told me I need to 'confront my feelings'. I told her she was being silly."

Loki's brow furrowed. "Feelings?" he asked, confusedly.

"Yeah," Tony shrugged. "Y'know, like how I wanna screw you again."

Loki's eyebrows shot up and his mouth fell open. "Always so eloquent, Tony."

Tony just gave a rueful smile. "So...does that answer your question?"

"My- my question?" Loki repeated.

"Yeah. You asked why I was pushing you."

"Oh. I suppose so. But I still refuse to live there."

"Why?" Tony demanded, running his hand through Loki's hair. "What's so bad about living there?"

Loki contemplated an answer. "Is it so strange that a man requires some privacy?"

"Is this about Thor?" Tony asked. "Because I can kick him out if you want."

Loki laughed. "You _are_ desperate to get me to yourself!"

"Yes, well, if it ups the chances of getting laid again..." Tony trailed off. "Would- would you be _adverse _to semi-regular sex?"

"My, Tony, you know just how to woo a man," Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I don't know yet."

Tony didn't let that tiny flutter of hope die in his chest. "Well, let me persuade you."

He brought his hands up to cup Loki's face, and pulled him down to claim his lips, wanting to wipe away the hurt, and the bad memories, and to replace them with new ones, ones that included Tony in them.

He tasted the same as how Tony remembered; like snow and roasted chestnuts and wood, and he was pleased to see the way Loki leant down, parting his lips, and burying his hands in Tony's coat. Tony pushed forward, angling his head, pulling on Loki's lips, and carding his fingers through Loki's hair.

Loki seemed to be melting against him, and Tony grinned- he was finally cracking through that armour. He ran his tongue across the inside of Loki's lower lip, causing Loki to moan.

"Hmm, n-ah, Tony," Loki mumbled, the words dampened against Tony's mouth. "N-mmm- no, waitsmmmph."

Tony ignored him. He pulled Loki closer, having to bend his neck backwards because Loki was so damned tall, but it meant he could wrap his hands around the base of Loki's head, his thumbs stroking below Loki's jaw, the skin so smooth, waiting to be bitten, bruised-

Loki was making this little growly purring noises, whilst simultaneously trying to push Tony off.

"Am I persuading you yet?" Tony muttered, pressing a series of kisses against that clever mouth, leading a trail down Loki's neck.

"Ugh, significantly," Loki murmured back. "But wait-"

He was cut off when Tony bit down on the god's collarbone, and Loki squeaked. Tony sniggered into the red skin, kissing it better, and was rewarded by quite a vicious hair pull.

"Will you _listen _to me?" Loki demanded, breathlessly, stepping back, and adjusting his jumper. "It's the middle of the day, Tony!"

Tony just stared at Loki. "Oh, honey, you've got a lot to learn."

"Don't patronise me, Stark," Loki pursed his lips. "We're not animals. And believe it or not, I was actually busy. You've made your point, but that doesn't mean we have to fuck right _now!"_

Tony just smirked, and grasped Loki's hips, pulling him close once again. "Okay, fine. Have dinner with me tonight."

Loki looked away nervously, and licked his lips. "Fine. Where?"

"I'll come and collect you at eight. Sound okay?"

"Yes."

"Dress nicely. Daddy's gonna take Mommy out on a posh date."

"Stark-" his tone was playfully warning, but Tony cut him off with a soft kiss anyway.

"Y'know, Reindeer Games," Tony said casually, stepping away and smiling, "if someone had said I'd be taking a god out on a date two years ago, I would have... Actually, no, what am I talking about? I'm me! Of course I'd be taking a god out on a date!"

He laughed as Loki hauled him out of the apartment, pushing him out of the front door. Tony grinned, straightening out his suit, and turned to Loki, who was appraising Tony with a fond look, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

Tony leant up and pressed a final kiss to those lips, letting one hand slide down Loki's waist to gently touch his abdomen. Loki's breath hitched fractionally, and he kissed back.

"I'll see you at eight," Tony winked at him, and turned to go. He was glad Loki couldn't see his face, which was stretched wide by his grin, and the celebratory "Yes!" he mouthed to himself as he swaggered away.

Maybe now Tony could actually _get _somewhere with this infuriating god, and not feel like something terribly wrong was about to happen...

XXX

Loki stood in front of the mirror, staring despondently at his reflection.

"Dress nicely," he muttered to himself. "Dress _nicely. _What does that even _mean? Nicely?"_

He'd said the word 'nicely' so many times now, it had lost its meaning.

_Nicely, nicely, nicely. _It was a mantra in his head.

In Asgard, formal events required partial armour, but something told Loki that wouldn't be appropriate. Even without the horns. Midgardians tended to find Asgardian clothing strange.

So Midgardian clothing it would have to be. Loki knew about suits. He knew humans wore them often. He'd seen Tony in many suits, and he'd worn them himself quite a bit, until he learnt the brilliance of jeans and tshirts and jackets and _casual clothes. _

He tapped his chin. Would a suit be _too _formal? Or did Tony mean they would be going somewhere that necessitated the utmost formal outfit?

He went over to his collection of magazines (Nick Fury would be _so _proud) and opened them, skipping past the articles, and for once paying attention to the adverts that depicted men.

Suit _jackets _were a given. Smart dress pants seemed almost the law, with a few exceptions of dark jeans. A variety of shirts, sweaters and tops were presented to him, however, making his predicament even worse. Then came the decision of accoutrements like ties, cufflinks, buttons, watches, _'male jewellery', _and different knickknacks.

There was a knock on the door. Loki apprehensively went to answer it. Was it Tony, back again early?

It was Mrs Richards.

"Oh, hello, Mrs Richards," Loki smiled warmly. "How can I help you?"

The kind old lady was holding a tray, and she held it aloft. "I have my grandkids over, and we had some excess brownie left over. We thought we'd give it to you."

Loki felt his heart warm. "That's so kind, Mrs Richards. Why don't you come in for a cup of tea?"

She shook her head. "I can't leave the rascals alone for too long."

"Then bring them up too," Loki found himself saying. "I've got plenty of space."

Mrs Richards protested, but Loki insisted. "Besides, I'll be leaving later anyway. I have a date."

Mrs Richards thanked him, and called him a dear, and patted his arm, giving him the tray. He left the door open, and went to deposit the 'brownies' in the kitchen. The food turned out to be a sort of chocolate cake that Loki had never encountered before. He carefully bit into a chunk, and almost groaned out loud.

Tinned tomatoes: absolute no.

Chocolate brownies: by Valhalla, yes!

The sound of footsteps alerted him to Mrs Richards' return, and she was accompanied by three children, although one of them looked well into her adolescence.

"Kids, this is Luke," Mrs Richards announced, chivvying them into the kitchen. "Luke, this is Joe, Rick and Ellie."

Loki smiled. "Rick Richards?"

The second boy grinned. "Yeah? So what? My parents were cruel people."

Mrs Richards tutted, and went to turn on Loki's kettle.

Loki grinned again, internally thinking _Loki Laufeyson can't really speak._

"There's a TV through there," he pointed into his living room. "And help yourself to the fridge."

Joe, the littlest, perhaps three or four Midgardian years, went to hide in Mrs Richards' skirts, as Rick careered into the living room, his older sister Ellie sighing and following exasperatedly.

Loki didn't realise how fondly he was looking after them until Mrs Richards asked where his teabags were.

"You sit down, Mrs Richards," Loki instructed. "I'll do it, and we can have a good chat before I have to go get ready."

Little Joe emerged out shyly, shuffling to stay hidden behind his grandmother.

"My son is coming to get them tomorrow morning," Mrs Richards announced. "I don't get to have them that often."

Loki poured the boiling into a teapot and put a teabag in it. "That's a shame."

"They live in Seattle, which is such a long way away."

Loki tried not to think about how far away Frigga was, in Asgard. How often would he visit her?

He got out two teacups. "Well, I suppose these moments are important then."

"Do you see your mommy a lot? Does she live in England?"

It was Joe, piping up from under the kitchen table. Loki paused, before crouching down and peering under the table. Joe had his knees tucked into his chin, and was looking at Loki with big brown eyes.

"No, I don't get to see her too often," Loki said, smiling. "I miss her."

"Daddy and Mommy always go on holiday without us," Joe said forlornly. "But then we get to stay with Gran," he amended with a grin.

Mrs Richards was smiling proudly as Loki pulled Joe out from under the table and perched him on his hip.

"Oh yes? Do you like New York?" Loki hefted the boy up, keeping his arm around him, as he poured out two cups of tea, and handed one to Mrs Richards.

"Yes!" Joe said eagerly. "Although last year we had to leave early because it was blowing up. The apartment caught fire."

Loki froze, his smile slipping off. _What had he done? _

"Were you here when New York was blowing up?" Joe asked innocently.

"Yes," Loki swallowed.

Mrs Richards frowned. "Joe, leave Luke alone. Why don't you go find your brother and sister?"

Loki was about to put Joe down when the little boy suddenly hugged him around the neck and made a whiny "Noooo!"

Loki's heart was thudding loudly.

_I want mine now, _he thought irrationally, thinking of the embryos inside him.

Mrs Richards was smiling knowingly, in the same way Frigga had smiled before Loki last left Asgard.

"Where are you going for your date?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know," Loki admitted, sipping his tea one-handedly. "He hasn't told me."

"He?" Mrs Richards asked, surprised. "Oh my. I didn't know you were-"

"Gay?" Loki supplied, hoping this lovely old woman wouldn't suddenly dislike him.

"No," she blinked, but then the same sweet smile was on her face. "Is he handsome?"

Loki hid a grin. "Perhaps."

"Is he-"

"Is he Tony Stark?"

Loki turned around to see Ellie in the doorway to the living room, holding up a wallet. "This is his. Was he here today? He must have dropped it."

Loki grimaced. "Yes. Silly him. I'll have to return it."

"_Or," _the teenage girl spoke, "we take his Avengers membership card, and we duplicate it, and then we go and have a party with it."

Loki tilted his head, raising an eyebrow at the hopeful girl, knowing that now was _not _the time to be collaborating mischief with Midgardian children. "Or, we give it back to him, and not incur his wrath."

Ellie sighed. "Oh well."

She passed it over to Loki, who thanked her, and pocketed it, still holding Joe, who was tugging on his hair.

"Are you really dating Iron Man?" she asked.

"Who's dating Iron Man?" Rick came hurtling into the kitchen.

"Luke is dating Iron Man," Ellie told her brother.

"You're dating Iron Man? Wow!" he cried out.

Loki smiled at them. "Yes, and he's coming for me at eight, so I need to go get ready."

"Do you think he'll land on your balcony?" Rick asked enthusiastically. "Will he fly you away?"

"It's not a Disney film, _Rick," _Ellie rolled her eyes. "And it's a date, not a marriage proposal."

"Joe, let Luke go get ready for his date," Mrs Richards said, but Joe shook his head, and hung on tighter. Loki laughed, and patted the child on the back.

_I want mine right now, _he thought again. _I want my babies._

Suddenly the phone that came with the house (the '_land line', _apparently) rang, and Loki went over to its port to answer it. Who on Earth could this be? Perhaps a pesky salesperson, or maybe Stark had worked out the number.

"Hello?" he said into it.

"Loki? Loki! Ah, we found you! Guys, guys, it's the right number, Tash you were right!"

Loki's eyes widened. "Clint? How did you get this number?"

"Tony had it scribbled on the back of a piece of paper, and Jarvis said he worked it out. We don't know where your house is, though, so keep your panties on. I didn't even realise people _use _landlines any more."

Loki sighed, and rearranged Joe on his waist. "What is it?"

"Oh, we were just wandering where Tony is going all dolled up," Clint said conversationally. "We made a bet, you see. Bruce, Tash, and I are on the team that think you've started getting it on again, and Steve and Pepper—_Yes Steve, that's what we call it these days! Getting it ON—_Steve and Pepper and Phil and Thor think you're still flouncing around the problem. All we know is that Tony just left the mansion wearing his new Armani. So what's the deal, Lokimo?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "I don't see how it's any of your business."

"Any of my-? _Yep, guys, they're doing it again. We win, suckers!" _Loki held the phone away from his ear as Clint bellowed at his teammates on the other end. "Thanks, Lokes, we just won a hundred bucks. Bruce, Tash and I are going out for pizza. Enjoy your date with Tony. He looks _ravishing _by the w—_ow! Natasha!"_

Clint hung up, and Loki put the phone back in its place.

"Was that Iron Man?" Rick asked. "Is he coming here? Will he let me put on his helmet?"

"I don't think he's wearing the suit, Rick," Loki told him. "But I need to go put _my _suit on. And I have no idea what to wear."

"Where are you going?" Mrs Richards asked.

"I honestly don't know. Dinner. He said to dress nicely. What does that curtail?"

"Well, don't wear linen," Mrs Richards nodded sagely. "And don't wear jersey."

"It's better to go over dressed than under dressed," Ellie told him. "Joe, let go now. Luke needs to get ready for Iron Man."

Loki chuckled to himself as Joe slid down to the floor, and patted the child on the head. "I'll be only a moment."

He went into his bedroom, and faced his mirror, _yet again. _

He bit his lip, then waved his hand. A new wool three piece materialised in front of him, and a pale grey shirt. It was a little monochrome, and not very colourful, but Loki wasn't sure, and better safe than sorry.

He paused, glancing up at his reflection as he realised how much he wanted this evening to go well. Damn Tony Stark.

He dressed, carefully buttoning up the vest, and magicking a black tie around his throat. Nerves were setting in. Loki had never been _courted _before- this was all so new.

He ran a comb through his hair, frowning at its ridiculous length (making a mental note to cut it tomorrow), but figuring he couldn't do anything about it yet.

He slipped on his good shoes, and went back out into the kitchen. Mrs Richards was getting Joe a glass of water, and Rick was bickering with Ellie. They looked up when he came in, at the same time there was a knock on the door.

"Oh, Luke, you look very handsome!" Mrs Richards proclaimed, automatically coming over to brush nonexistent lint off his shoulder. "Ellie, go get the door."

Ellie wasn't complaining, and exited, Rick following with cries of "Iron Man!"

Loki cleared his throat, and fiddled with his hair, as he heard Tony come in, expressing surprise at seeing visitors.

Loki swallowed as Tony entered the kitchen, which was now rather cramped with people.

"Hello," Tony said, with an awkward smile on his face. His eyes widened as he looked Loki up and down. "How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," Loki replied, tugging on his sleeve.

Tony was indeed wearing a finely cut coal black suit, with a blue shirt, that Loki really wanted to rip off him, but he refrained. Mrs Richards was grinning at them like a teenage girl.

"Where are you taking Luke tonight, Mr Stark?" she asked.

"Oh, erm, figured we'd go old-school dating, and we can sample the fine cuisine at the Four Seasons," Tony gave a shining look at Loki, who politely smiled back, despite not knowing the restaurant.

"Oh, you lucky thing, Luke," Mrs Richards proclaimed. "Well, have fun. The kids and I will head back to our own place now, too. Say goodbye, children."

Ellie muttered a farewell, keeping one hand over Rick's mouth, who was desperately trying to claw his way over to Tony, and Joe toddled over to Loki, hugging his leg.

"Bye bye," he mumbled.

"Joe, you'll crumple his pants," Mrs Richards scolded, but Loki hauled the youngster up and held him close.

"See you tomorrow, Joe?" he asked, and Joe nodded enthusiastically. "Maybe we can get some ice-cream."

Joe's face entirely lit up, and he hugged Loki again. Mrs Richards prised the child away, and said her final goodbyes, winking at Loki as she left.

It was just him and Tony in the kitchen.

"So," Loki said, aware his palms were getting slightly sticky. "Dinner?"

"No, sorry, we can't. Not with you looking like that," Tony replied, and Loki was slightly affronted. He glanced down at his clothes.

"Oh, is it not-?"

"I can't let you loose in Manhattan like that! There'd be riots in the streets!"

Loki realised Tony was joking with him. He raised an eyebrow. "Very funny, Stark. Oh, I have something of yours," Loki said, pulling out Tony's wallet and passing it to him. Tony blinked at it, shrugged, and pocketed it. "You should be more careful. Small children might try and use your ID fraudulently."

"By the way, who were the little people?" he asked, jerking a thumb towards the door.

"Mrs Richards' grandchildren," Loki smiled softly.

"Yeah, that was-" Tony cleared his throat. "That was really sweet, with the...with the kid."

Loki smiled listlessly, his mind throwing images of, in nine months time, his own 'little people', as Tony put it.

"It...it really looked like you could...y'know," Tony scratched the back of his head, "be a decent, erm...parent. I'm just going to be quiet now. Coming?"

Loki quirked an eyebrow at him, and nodded. "Yes."

"Good. First things first, though," Tony's eyes sparkled.

Loki found himself crowded against the counter, caged in by Tony's arms, and his lips caught in a red-hot kiss.

"Tmmmnymmm," he complained half-heartedly, but pulled Tony closer, resting his hands on Tony's shoulders, as he allowed Tony to prise open his mouth.

Tony just made a dismissive noise against Loki's lips, tangling his fingers in Loki's hair, licking against Loki's tongue.

Loki's head swam a little, and he forcefully pulled away. "Okay, okay, stop it now."

Tony pouted, but then grinned, and smoothed his hand through Loki's hair. Loki thought he detected a flash of something in Tony's eyes- pity, sympathy, hurt?- but ignored it in exchange for letting Tony pull him out of the apartment.

XXX

Tony was finding it difficult to concentrate. When he'd decided to take Loki on a date, he had never considered the fact that Loki would look like _this. _Hot damn, it was like having the embodiment of perfection sitting in his passenger seat.

Loki was intrigued by Tony's car, something he hadn't had the opportunity to explore before, and was having fun asking Tony about all the different buttons, and how gears worked, and where the windscreen wash came from, and it was highly endearing to Tony, who was trying, and failing, to focus on the busy road.

He still couldn't shake the feeling of unease, though, as they parked and entered the lavish restaurant, and Tony knew Loki had noticed his lingering glances that held all the secrets Tony was keeping.

They sat, and Loki perused the menu, utterly delighted at the selection of new food, but Tony couldn't help but stare.

In the dim light of the restaurant, the tiny scars inflicted by _Thor _around Loki's mouth were more prominent, now that Tony knew about them. He wondered what sort of scars Loki was hiding with the use of magic...

"What are _perigord black truffles?" _Loki asked, glancing up at Tony. His bright-eyed look dimmed when he saw Tony's expression, and he frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I spoke to Coulson today," Tony said, deciding it was no use lying to the god of lies.

Loki went rigid, and closed his menu. "What did he say?"

"He said I ought to leave you alone," Tony omitted the fact that Coulson, the master of the Poker Face, and looked faintly ill at the new information he had gleaned. "He explained about the Tesseract."

Loki's jaw clenched together, and he looked down at the table cloth. "I...I assumed SHIELD had known the truth. I did not know you still convicted me of those crimes entirely. I thought my fath- the _Allfather _had told you what had _really _happened."

"Yeah, I know," Tony rubbed his brow. "SHIELD has never had the best rep for being just and honourable. I never wanted to join them, in the beginning. Their astringent punishment and conditional offers can be...well, they never appreciated Iron Man being out of their reach of control."

"So you thought it easier to simply be on their side," Loki finished, a hint of bitterness in his voice. He was still staring at the table cloth.

"Well, yeah, it is," Tony admitted, reaching forward and taking Loki's hand. The god looked up, his eyes flat and defensive. "But it was for the best. Everything worked out well. When you have SHIELD on your side, you'll see- everything will be easier for you. And quite frankly, after everything I've heard, you could do with a little bit more ease in your life."

Loki's brows pulled together, and he regarded Tony carefully. "What have you heard?"

Tony swallowed. He knew he shouldn't have spoken- how would he explain this now? He opened his mouth, and tried to think of a way to divert the conversation.

"Steve says we're very much alike."

"I could say so," Loki twitched an eyebrow upwards. "You are significantly younger than I, however."

Tony had to laugh at that one. Loki looked _miles _younger than he, and yet he constantly forgot that Loki was ancient. "Indeed. Do you feel like a cradle robber?"

"Mm," Loki smirked, and the tight atmosphere lifted. "Positively perverted. Come into my van, Mister Stark. I have chocolate."

Tony snorted, and tried to cover it up. "That shouldn't sound as sexy as it does."

Loki pulled a face, and they both giggled, until a waiter came over to take their order.

For a first date, it actually went quite smoothly in terms of their own conversation. Loki was a very easy talker, and a very good listener, but Tony knew that anyway.

What Tony _didn't _know was that Loki was the most mischievous person he had ever met. He amused Tony by magicking the woman's lobster on the table next to theirs to come alive, and tapdance across the table, as she screamed in terror. He tripped up waiters from across the hall, and caused bottles of champagne to explode everywhere.

It wasn't until Tony was crying from laughter, begging Loki to stop, did they stop behaving like children, and carefully sipped their wine like adults, Loki's eyes sparkling from above his glass.

There was also the fact that Loki ate like it was part of an examination. His food got cut up into equally sized chunks, and he held his knife and fork like he was playing an instrument. And he chewed in a way that made Tony hot around the collar.

By the time they left, Tony was close to the edge.

"Well, I doubt they'll let us go back there," Tony said wryly, and Loki grinned, slipping his hand around Tony's elbow.

"They had no idea it was us!" Loki pointed out.

"True. Although, if they look through their security, they'll see a pattern emerging, every time something blew up or upturned."

Loki chuckled. They made it to the private car park, and Tony paused.

"So," he said, biting his lip.

"Are you coming back to my place?" Loki asked, and Tony thought _to hell with it! _That was as good as any invitation to take it further.

"Yeah, sure," Tony said nonchalantly, despite the fact his brain was yelling _Yes! YES! YES!_

"Can I drive your car?"

Tony blanched, and tried to school his features into something that wasn't pure horror. He relaxed, though, when Loki burst out laughing.

"Oh, Stark! Your face! One would have thought I'd just asked for your kidney! Have no fear, I was just joking."

Loki continued chortling as he strolled up to the passenger side of Tony's car, leaving Tony to simultaneously sigh in relief, and to gaze unsubtly at Loki's ass, which was stretched tight due to the fact Loki had his hands in his pockets.

The drive home was silent. Tony couldn't really arrange his thoughts into anything appropriate to say, as his mind was still hopefully cheering at the fact that Tony was going to have sex tonight.

It was 11 o'clock when Tony parked outside of Loki's flat. Loki took his hand and pulled him up the stairs, a look in his eye that an idiot would have labelled "shy", but Tony wasn't an idiot. He labelled the look as "I'm going to devour you when you least expect it".

Indeed, Loki had barely locked the door behind them before he was shoving Tony through the apartment, into his bedroom, yanking off Tony's tie, pushing off his jacket, and biting at his jaw.

Tony grinned, and clasped his hands around Loki's ass, rewarded with a harsher bite, as they fell onto Loki's bed.

_Finally, _he thought to himself. How long had he been fantasising about this for?

Loki crawled up over Tony's body, pinning Tony's hands with his knees, and grinning down at him, the sort of look that was reserved for gouging out old men's eyeballs, but Tony bid that thought of his mind- that was _then, _when Loki wasn't right- this was _now, _and Loki saved these looks for passion and lovemaking, not evil and hatred.

Loki, unaware of Tony's gushing inner monologue, was pulling of his jacket and vest, undulating down on Tony's crotch, and unbuttoning his shirt excruciatingly slowly, but Tony could not free his hands.

Soon enough Loki's chest was bare, and he was licking his lips in a sinful manner, still entrapping Tony's hands, leaning forward to lick hotly from Tony's earlobe to his collarbones, making Tony _lose his fucking mind _with lust. He bucked upwards, gaining little relief from the heat that was gathering inside his pants.

"God, Loki, c'mon. Please?" he whined, unable to take this sort of denial any more. He wanted to _touch, _god damn it!

Loki just chuckled darkly into Tony's ear.

"Stark, do you have any idea how long it took to stop thinking about that night?" he murmured.

Tony paused, surprised. He honestly hadn't known.

"All those nights, here in my bed, _alone, _thinking of you, imagining you touching me-"

"If you let me go, I _will _touch you," Tony pointed out, breathlessly. Loki just laughed, and Tony could tell he loved how desperate Tony was; there was no denying it, Tony was desperate. And needy. He struggled under Loki's superior strength.

"We're getting to that," Loki nipped Tony's lip.

"Tell me what you thought about," Tony asked, rocking his hips up, trying to encourage Loki to grind down. He needed some sort of pressure- his erection was bordering on painful, and if he didn't get some sort of respite, he would explode...

"Mmm, I thought about," Loki raised a finger to his lip, and pretended to think, whilst the other wandered down to Tony's pants and deftly unbuttoned them, "_all _sorts. I thought about your mouth...on me..."

Tony swallowed, and the movement was caught by Loki's glittering green eyes, causing the pupils to dilate even further than they were.

"And I thought about...riding you, like this, and you'd have your hands in my hair, pulling it, and biting my neck-"

"Fucking hell. Let my hands go. Now."

"No!" Loki cackled, letting his head fall back and expose said neck.

He pushed a hand down Tony's underwear, grasping at his cock, and Tony let out a highly undignified sound.

"Loki," he panted. "Please. Dammit, I've been thinking about it too, and it isn't fair to not let me go."

Loki smirked down at Tony, and raised his knees, releasing Tony's hands, as he got to work on Tony's shirt buttons.

"Fine, Mister Stark, I will allow it," Loki said in a playful voice, and Tony revelled in it. It reminded him of how many layers Loki had, and as far as Tony knew, Loki did not let many people see this deeply into his core.

Loki began pressing kisses down Tony's neck and chest, pausing when he got to the arc reactor.

"Will you tell me about this, one day?" Loki asked softly.

Tony felt ice envelop his body. His immediate thought was _No, no I will not, ever. Don't ask again, _but then he thought about how much trust he would have to put in Loki- the same sort of trust he would want Loki to put in him, if he ever got round to asking Loki _his _questions...

"One day," Tony promised. "I don't- it's difficult."

Something passed through Loki's face that Tony could only call understanding, and it hurt Tony to know that Loki, more than any other person, probably knew what Tony meant.

Tony ran his hands up Loki's thighs, up to his waist, and gripped him tightly, as Loki continued his descent of kisses past Tony's navel, to his undone pants.

"Are you going to fuck me, Mister Stark?" Loki asked with another one of his playful smirks.

Tony pretended to yawn. "I _suppose," _he mumbled. "I have nothing else to do."

Loki bit down hard on Tony's hipbone, making him yelp. "We'll see, Stark."

Tony shivered at his tone, then gasped as Loki pulled down his pants and boxers, and licked at his hardened cock.

"Fuuuck, Loki," Tony ground out. "Come up here."

"I rather like it down here," Loki sang out, tasting the top of Tony's cock once more.

Tony shook his head. "No, I want you up here."

Loki huffed, but acquiesced, crawling back up Tony's body. Tony kicked his shoes, socks, and pants off impatiently, and tried to shrug out of his shirt, but Loki stopped him.

"No, I like it," he said as only way of explanation. Tony blinked up at him, but did nothing more, his hands coming to rest on Loki's waist once more.

The god was wriggling out of his own trousers, displaying some rather stunning acts of flexibility, as he managed to maintain straddling Tony, until he was completely naked, and grinning down at Tony in triumph.

"This would usually be the moment I would wake up," he stated, matter of factly.

"This would be the moment Fury would yell at me for daydreaming," Tony winked, and Loki's eyes flashed with amusement.

"That is quite depraved, Stark," Loki commented. "Now, bear with me one moment."

He leant over to his bedside table, stopping himself from falling off by gripping with his thighs, and Tony's brain just turned into a mess of white noise.

"Shall I?" Loki offered, when he returned with a bottle of lube in his hand. Tony just grunted, unable to form a proper sentence, and watched with wide eyes as Loki systematically poured the lube into his fingers, and reached round to insert them into himself.

"Fuck," Tony groaned out loud, as Loki's eyelids flickered, and a languid smile played on Loki's lips. Tony brought his hands up Loki's trembling chest, and laid his hands on his shoulders, smoothing them up to his neck, tangling his hair at the base of his skull around Tony's fingers, and tugging lightly, eliciting a small moan from the god.

"The lack of alcohol," Tony said breathily, watching Loki finger himself, "does make for a slightly different experience."

"Mmm, maybe this time you'll last longer," Loki said with a wink. Tony glared up at him, and rolled his hips upwards.

Loki let out a stuttered groan as Tony's cock brushed against his, and he removed his fingers from himself, and raised up on his knees.

Tony felt saliva build up in his mouth as he stared up at Loki's body, bracketed around his own. His skin was so smooth looking, stretched tight across collar bones, ribs, hips...

Loki's proud erection twitched slightly as he lowered himself down, reaching behind to grasp Tony's cock and guide it into his body. The sensation of immense heat and tightness sent pleasure running through Tony's body, and he seized Loki by the waist, urging him down.

Loki emitted some sort of ground out moan between his teeth as he sank down, his fingers splayed on Tony's chest, either side of the arc reactor, and they were static for just a moment, the only movement their breathing, as Tony gauged the differences between his memories and the real fucking thing, before Loki lurched upwards then impaled himself once more in an erratic jolt.

"Fuck," Tony squawked, gripping tighter, as Loki groaned throatily, and lifted up to do it again. "_Fuck! _Loki..."

Loki threw his head back as he started a rather rigorous pace, a breathy laugh caressing his lips before he bit them and scrunched up his eyes, his fingernails digging in to Tony's chest, as he rode him into the mattress.

Tony felt somewhat overwhelmed. He greedily soaked up all Loki's facial changes, and the way his stomach muscles rippled and tightened every time Tony hit his prostate. His thighs were exerting the most, powering Loki up and down on Tony's cock, so he took pity on the god, thrusting up in time to Loki's rough pace, until the bed was creaking in protest, banging against the wall, and Tony was working up a sweat.

"Dammit Tony," Loki grit out, a violent shiver running through him.

Tony grinned at hearing his name, instead of "Stark" coming from those lips, and ran his hands up to Loki's neck, remembering what he had said earlier about wanting Tony to pull his hair.

Tony entwined the black locks through his fingers and jerked Loki's head back. He was rewarded with a yell, followed by a growl, and Loki's long neck exposed in a way that was just _begging _to be bitten.

Tony planted his feet firmly on the mattress and thrust up into Loki's heat, relishing the friction, and tightening his hold on Loki's hair that was tumbling down his back. His hands were sticky from sweat, and Loki's forehead was shiny, in fact his whole _body _was covered in a sheen of sweat, and their skin slipped against each other.

Loki was grunting with every movement, the muscles in his neck standing out, his hands gripping onto Tony's shoulders as he impaled himself over and over.

When he came, Loki groaned gutturally, his rhythm lost, growing boneless over Tony's chest. Tony grasped his hips and flipped them over, still thrusting through Loki's orgasm, gaining leverage in this new position, pounding into his body until he was whimpering with pleasure, aftershocks rippling through him, softly trying to bat Tony away, unable to take any more. Tony pressed a rough kiss to Loki's lips, before coming.

"Tony," he stuttered. "E-enough. Enough now."

Tony's arms gave out on him, and he collapsed on the side of the bed, rolling over so they were both splayed across it, panting.

Tony felt euphoric. His limbs were loose and floppy, but he rolled onto his side, looking at Loki.

The god was awake, but his eyes were closed, and a tiny smile played at his mouth.

"That was..." Tony began.

"Yes," Loki agreed.

"Do you have a shower?" Tony asked.

Loki mumbled in protest. "Bathe tomorrow. Now, sleep."

Tony raised his eyebrows in surprise- so he wasn't obliged to do the walk of shame. How refreshing. Instead he lay back down, running his hand over Loki's damp forehead, and gazing at his profile.

One bright green eye blinked open and surveyed Tony fondly. Tony remembered when they shone a luminescent blue. That hadn't been _Loki. _This was Loki, here, now. The strong, lean body lying beside Tony, who caused mischief on dates, and made friends with Bruce Banner, not the beaten, broken soul they had seen and fought against before. And Tony didn't care if he had to fight Fury and the council himself- he was going to get to the bottom of Loki's past, and find the truth.

**End of Chapter 5**

**PLEASE READ:**

**I'm so sorry about the wait. I've had this mostly written up for over a month, but I just couldn't finish it! Writer's block is a bitch. Also, I can't write porn. At all.**

**I feel I need to wrap this up quite quickly, so please answer this question:**

**WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FOCUS ON?**

**ROMANCE AND BABIES AND SHIT?**

**LOKI'S REDEMPTION AND GIVING A THEORY AS TO WHY HE WENT CRAZY?**

**PORN? ;)**

**Also, did anyone notice me slipping in the title quote? I used to love it when JKR used to slip the HP titles into the book.**

**Anyway.**

By the way, Edward, if you read it, I will actually murder you.

Guys, everybody wave at Edward. He's my new friend. *waves*

I'm going to kill you, Edward.

Next chapter will be out soon, providing I don't get distracted.

Follow me on tumblr. My URL is **milliethefreak**. I post Hiddles, Avengers, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc.

Follow Ed on tumblr. His URL is **timeforanedventure**. His blog is honestly amazing.

Follow Sophie on tumblr. Her URL is **scoffytheweirdo**. She blogs basically _all _the fandoms. She's wonderful.

And of course, follow my saviour and one true love, Ellie, without whom I would be lost and broken. Her URL is **all-the-worlds-a-fandom**.

Everything I write, Ellie, is for you! Thank you for everything!

**As always, thank you so much for reading and please review! It makes my day. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!**

**NB: I've been made aware of several mistakes in this chapter. So I will fix them at some point. I promise. ;)**


End file.
